Bill & Ted Face the Music is finally here, and we're betting that you, like us, found
it to be a most excellent reality-hopping adventure full of wit, warmth, and heart.
Fans have waited a very, very long time for the belated sequel to 1989's Bill & Ted's
Excellent Adventure and 1991's Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, and the flick does not disappoint.
It finds our heroes in a most precarious predicament: It's not every day that you find out that
you're responsible not only for the fate of the world, but for all of reality as we know
it.
"Ted. We have a destiny to fulfill."
Now would be a good time for us to warn you that we'll be venturing into massive spoiler
territory for Bill & Ted Face the Music from here on out.
At the beginning of the film, Bill and Ted are dragged in front of a panel of future
dudes in the year 2720 by Kelly, the daughter of their original time-traveling mentor, Rufus.
The future dudes are none too pleased with the duo's failure to write the song that was
supposed to unite the world, and they're informed of just how dire the circumstance has become:
a song, to be written by "Preston-Logan" must be performed at "MP 46" in exactly 77 minutes
— or time and reality itself will cease to exist.
They embark on a series of travails involving multiple iterations of their future selves
and a trip to Hell to make up with Death and save their daughters and all of the bodacious
musicians they've collected throughout history.
"Hey, you wanna be in our band?"
The entire gang arrives on a crowded highway just as reality seems to be totally falling
apart. Fortunately, they happen to be in the right place — milepost 46, or "MP 46" — and
as Billie and Thea begin to assemble and warm up the band, Bill and Ted arrive at a stunning
realization. They tell their daughters:
"It's you. Girls, you're not here to back us. We're here to back you."
Sure enough, their Dads' encouragement inspires them to coach the historical figures into
performing a truly epic tune — but it's not enough.
As the band starts to warm up, Bill and Ted realize that they'll have to get everybody
throughout history to play along, which means that they'll have to distribute instruments
to everyone who has ever existed... in seven minutes. Fortunately, Kid Cudi is on the scene,
and he happens to be surprisingly knowledgeable about quantum physics. With his assistance,
Bill and Ted use their trusty phone booth to become "infinite" versions of themselves,
which are able to quickly carry out the mission of equipping everybody in history with guitars,
drums, horns, and cowbells.
"I'm telling you, fellas. You're gonna want that cowbell on the track."
As everyone throughout time plays the same song, reality suddenly begins to stabilize,
and the future dudes realize that the universe is not folding in on itself. As Bill and Ted
join the band to perform the most epic guitar solo ever, we hear Billie and Thea, in voiceover,
offer a succinct summary.
"And so, it wasn't so much the song that made the difference, it was everyone playing it
together."
Over the closing credits, we indeed see a wide cross-section of people all over the
world jamming out to the same song — a message of unity that has perhaps never been more
sorely needed than it is in 2020.
Bill & Ted Face the Music took nearly 30 years to make it to the screen, and now that it's
finally here, fans have wasted no time at all in speculating about whether there could
be a number 4 in the future. As it turns out, this question has been asked of franchise
screenwriters Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon.
The dudes' answer was a bit of a mixed bag. Matheson told GameSpot:
"I think three [movies] is the magic number of storytelling. It's the beginning, and the
middle, and the end."
Solomon agreed, but allowed one caveat:
"I could see a story for Billie and Thea."
That's all we needed to hear. Sure, the world has been united and reality has been saved
— but if the Circuits of Time should ever get all tangled up again, we're pretty sure
those future dudes know who they should call.
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