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you get free clothes yeah free guys yeah
and um just money thrown at you yeah you
just sit there and smile i wish that
sounds sexy that would be beautiful it
sounds real sexy
that's the life right there
it's not ours
i think there's a misconception where
people think that modeling is just about
looking beautiful or having a certain
look that people like but that's not the
reality of things i would hear comments
like oh you models you guys have it so
easy all you have to do is stand there
and look pretty
no it's really not there's a lot of work
and sacrifices that go into this job
just like any other job honestly to be
in this industry you have to be
very self-aware have street smarts book
smarts know how to run a business
because
you're a brand you have to be your
business manager you have to be your own
pr you have to be your therapist you
have to be your mom and your dad you
have to be your own life coach it's
draining it's emotionally physically
mentally it's it's
it's for your well-being as a training
and that's like the side that people
don't get to see you know they only get
to see the end result and the glamorous
bit of it now in today's day and age
there's no time off from being a model
you're a model 24 7. people see you 24
7. even if you go to a bodega
shorty no follows you on instagram well
how come you don't look as good as
you're doing your pictures people expect
you to be perfect 24 7. working in
an environment that's all about like
beauty and how you look obviously it
shapes you a little bit
i always thought like oh if i would be a
size 2 i would finally be happy because
it's what we see all the time
my whole life
i felt pressured to be a size that i've
never been it's not like i'm comparing
to a person that i used to be which is
also painful for a lot of people
to this fantasy idea that suddenly if i
was thinner my experiences would be
better my life would be better my
relationships might be better i don't
think that that voice is so loud today
thankfully
but for for most of my life those voices
were very very very loud and
unfortunately those voices are loud
because the experiences as
a girl over a size 10 who also happens
to be brown
and strange or whatever it's affirmed in
life and that like yeah like your life
is a little bit better if
you are
those things
i think we're all just brainwashed by
hollywood and like all the gossip
magazines i mean it's hard to
to get out of it there's so many labels
in our culture like plus size and
straight size and i just don't think
it's necessary because you walk outside
every day and there's so many people and
you're not labeling them in your head
i think it can be
hard in the industry in that it's just
like straight size
plus size
the body positive movement for instance
was designated
for
marginalized bodies to feel seen and
validated
and that movement has been co-opted by
non-marginalized bodies to also feel
seen but those bodies are seen it's not
for a size six
girl to be like show her roles and be
like i'm body positive too no offense in
new york it's like
if you're skinny like here here i'm
beyonce right
my no chest having skinny lanky body as
soon as i'm in nigeria they literally
like ah are you okay do you want food
you want some food come come come
where's your nash
and i'm ready for marriage
so beauty uh i think beauty for me is
it's internal it's what you emit to the
world subconsciously and non-verbally
it's not about the physical to me
significa
for me
beauty means
your sense of self because i mean people
have called me ugly when i go to the
airport right
my alias is my little brother so i
personally dress like a boy some people
think i'm a man the next person like oh
my god you're gorgeous yeah either i
look like
a little boy
from the depths of harlem
or a little posh black woman either
people think i'm ugly or i'm cute so
it's like whatever i think is beautiful
depends on where you are i didn't have
access to magazines or tv
for the first
almost eight years of my life
before i moved to australia and even
when i did go to australia i didn't see
a representation of myself
i did not
you start questioning yourself
you know like why and then that
questioning then turns into insecurities
and you start to think oh am i not
beautiful enough is that why there's no
black girls in the magazine i don't see
little black girls like myself on the tv
it's not a nice feeling
growing up
um i'm 26 now so
when i was reading magazines they were
only like the same kind of girls like
white blonde tall skinny
i was like the opposite so i'm like
no so not like no representation at all
actually i thought that was the norm but
obviously now that it changed and now
that i know that it can be different i'm
like oh wow this should have happened
like
way before like way before yeah
i looked up to
the woman the strong woman around me and
that made me feel
like i had a strong foundation and i
didn't
really look into
the media for representation
yeah it's so important to be for people
to be represented i'm very lucky in the
way that you know i'm a white woman so i
literally have grown up seeing people
like me all the time and it's really
important for you know people like
growing up or just people in their
day-to-day life to see someone that
looks like them
and say that's normal there's someone
out there like me or there's you know
this is being celebrated this is
beautiful this is you know i think it's
so important for people to see
and be recognized
that is what makes you feel like you can
accomplish just because someone that you
saw yourself in accomplished what you
were interested in the first time i felt
represented was when
halima adan walked at the yeezy show and
that is
i feel like the most
important um
part in my life where i felt like i can
actually pursue modeling and
because but before that i was just it
was lingering around in my head whether
i should just pursue it or not but when
i did see halima it made me feel
that
just because she was
doing it i can do it too
we're here now
uh you know my little sisters for
example they're able to open up a
magazine and see me and they
automatically see themselves
they can turn on the tv and see another
black model and they can see themselves
and
i'm i'm grateful for that my little
sister's
she's five years old and she was
watching me on youtube and she said she
wants to walk the runway and things like
that because she saw me
wearing those clothes and
she saw herself in me so
and
i think like fashion industry has
impacted your mental health
um
i do
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