Hello I m Darren Magee and today s question asks if I d discuss the common characteristics and
traits associated with what's commonly referred to as a Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP. Sometimes
described quite negatively by others as someone who is too sensitive, but there are positives
in being highly sensitive, and today I'm going to look at both the struggles and the strengths
in some of those characteristics. So if you like this video, if you find it helpful or interesting
please consider subscribing to my channel. But just as a reminder of this video is
for information purposes only. Now all of us are sensitive on some level, but the Highly Sensitive
Person, now that s a term that was first coined in the mid 1990s by psychologists Elaine and Arthur
Aaron. It refers to personality traits for those who are believed to have increased central nervous
system sensitivity to emotional, physical, or social stimuli. So there are increased
responses to both positive and negative external influences. And it is estimated that up to 20% of
the population would be considered to be highly sensitive to different degrees and intensity.
Sometimes it may be confused with Sensory Processing Disorder, but that is something
completely different. Highly Sensitive People can be very intuitive, perceptive,
self aware. They feel things very differently, are emotionally intelligent, emotionally driven
and process information at a deeper level than others. It is also different from just being
introverted, although being highly sensitive and introversion can share similar traits. So let's
look at some of those common characteristics. First of all, Highly Sensitive People can be
very easily stressed or upset by conflict and generally avoid it whenever possible. They can
pick up on other peoples moods quite quickly. They can pick up when someone has a problem,
but won t communicate it. They tend to scrutinise situations, non verbal cues, they try to read
people's reactions and behaviours to, to monitor their own behaviour and what they say themselves
towards them. They can at times misinterpret signals or overthink other people's reactions, and
can sometimes end up making a mountain out of a molehill. An example about might be they see
the look on someone's face on their way out the door, and they spend the rest of the day
wondering, worrying, Did I cause that? What did I do? Did I say something? Have I upset them?
Analyse many different ways that they can either pacify that person, make something up to them,
or to try to find some kind of reassurance. And due to that discomfort with conflict,
many highly sensitive people would be often what s referred to as people pleasers,
putting other people's feelings needs in front of their own, choosing what they think is the path
of least resistance, saying yes to things that they don't really want to do, but out of fear
of offending or causing contention. And this can lead them to being exploited, taken advantage of
as their boundaries, their good nature, is often crossed or disrespected, or,
they can have difficulty asserting themselves for fear of offending or making a situation
worse. Highly sensitive people also have a low threshold for emotional pain. If offended or hurt
or mistreated, many have a hard time being able to understand that, being able to process that,
being able to let that go and to move on. They can feel pain from many years ago, struggling to
understand why someone would behave in such a way. Replaying relationships, interactions, situations
in their head over and over again, even if it's from their school days. In some cases some can
find violence in movies or television unsettling and distressing. They can be very highly sensitive
to criticism as well and feel like it's more like a judgement on them as a person, but that
is not to be confused with this sensitivity to criticism often seem present in with
narcissism. With the highly sensitive person they don't necessarily try to blame shift,
make excuses or avoid responsibility. What they tend to do is they tend to take the blame. It was
they who were in the wrong, they were wrong for saying no, they were wrong for hurting,
for being inappropriate. Wrong for perhaps being cowardly and not standing up for themselves.
As much as they don't like criticism Highly Sensitive People tend to be their own worst critic
often blaming themselves and can hold themselves to impossible and unrealistic standards.
They can ruminate over errors in judgement, mistakes made even years ago. Lie in bed at night,
unable to sleep. Replaying situations again and again in their heads and beating themselves up
over, perhaps what they believe someone from last week, earlier that day, ten years ago,
what that person might be thinking about them, or how they might be feeling today. And if they
themselves are misunderstood or their intentions are misunderstood, they can feel as if they failed
somehow, and again ruminate excessively over what they did wrong. Because Highly Sensitive People
can feel things more deeply than others they can take on a lot of what other people feel and become
emotionally exhausted and do need quite a bit of time on their own just to be able to recharge.
Some Highly Sensitive People don't really like loud noises, crowds. They are aware of everyone
there and can feel overwhelmed. In situations like that they may find it difficult just to relax and
be in the moment. For example, if they were at a concert, they may be paying more attention to
everyone and everything else that's going on rather than the performance at the concert itself.
They like familiarity and structure. Highly Sensitive People sometimes struggle with change,
they feel uncomfortable with change. They can often feel nostalgic for past times as
well as sometimes trying to create past familiarity and their approach to things
Highly Sensitive People tend to be quite highly conscientious. But struggle with more than perhaps
one task at once, and can buckle under pressure very easily. But again, would beat themselves up
for not being enough, for not being good enough, for disappointing others, for letting others
down. And there are times when they can lash out angrily if feeling frustrated or misunderstood,
or criticised too harshly. But often feel regret and shame over that outburst, and even
tried to make amends. So there are some of the struggles associated with Highly Sensitive People.
Now let's have a look at some of the positive qualities, the strengths. They can be very
creative, not just artistically, but in many ways. Someone comes to them with a problem they can be
very attentive, very resourceful whenever trying to find ways to help them, trying to find
solutions. By their very nature they are very kind people and very thoughtful people. Now even if
they do misinterpret whether or not someone really does need their help, they always feel as if they
want to, or perhaps they need to do something. I think this comes from an internal belief system
that good people do good things and because they misinterpret these things, sometimes it's
not recognised the difference between a good thing and the right thing. And although they
can be very complex, they have a very rich inner life. They think through things deeply.
They can be quite introspective and can be equally moved by acts of kindness and generosity
from others. They are very appreciative. They can see beauty, they see beauty and nature, in art,
the human spirit, and they see it in ways that sometimes other people would miss or even dismiss.
And although they may struggle with change, they are open to new information. They are able to
change their mind. They are open to learning, they re open to admitting as they've made a mistake or,
or if there is a better way of doing something. What I would say about Highly Sensitive People is,
that ability to pick up in the mood in a room, to feel the mirth or the tension, the, the ability
to be compassionate, sympathetic, empathetic, to be creative in finding solutions when others come
to them with their problems. I think these are wonderful qualities. If you're a Highly Sensitive
Person don't lose those qualities. Heaven knows the world needs more sensitive people.
But what can sometimes be someone's greatest strength can also be their
Achilles Heel. Because without boundaries, those qualities can be self destructive. Again,
if you're a Highly Sensitive Person, something for you to consider is no isn't a bad word.
And you know that compassion, that kindness that you might have for others? Well imagine what that
would look like if you were to turn a little bit of that inwards, even just once in a while,
talk to yourself the same way that you do talk to other people. So they are just a few of the common
characteristics of Highly Sensitive People. Now as always do please feel free to add anything I
may have missed. There, are some interesting conversations start around these videos.
But if you find this video interesting or helpful, please consider subscribing to my channel for
future updates on mental health related topics and until next time, thanks for watching.