Hey, guys, Nate right here.
It's strength and endurance week,
which means us PS-38ers
have to prove to coach John that we won't grow up
to be "spineless snowflakes".
[straining]
You are very weak, Nate.
You must consume more milk
for strong bones in physical educations.
Yeah, even Zora the lunch lady
remembers what happened last year.
[whistling]
[straining]
[screaming]
Lunch lady Zora's right, Nate, you're... weak.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, I would be ashamed of it
but for you, no, definitely don't be ashamed.
Well, it is... Wait, "weak"?
If I was weak, could I do this?
[straining]
So hard!
What are they lining these with, steel, now?
Oh, hey, Nate, were you done with that?
[music playing]
Yeah!
- Wow! - Still got it.
Show-off.
We just gotta whip you into shape.
Yeah? What makes you such a pro?
Two words: Zosimo Cilento.
Dios mio, sorcery!
I should have known, she's a witch!
What? No, not sor... Ugh, look.
Zosimo Cilento, eight-time world wrestling champion?
She helps people get ripped
and helped me prepare for a very important role.
[screaming]
Zosimo's first rule of thumb: You gotta look the part, kid.
So, one major key to looking ripped
is having a huge amount of chest hair.
Ooh!
I, um...
I had more than this yesterday.
Mm-hm.
Lucky for you, Chad has a ton to spare.
Chad?
[chirping]
Just when you think you know someone...
Time for a transplant.
[music playing]
[beeping]
[ding]
[ripping, screaming]
Oh, oh! Oh, yeah! Yeah!
Yep, the old peanut butter toast waxing trick.
Pulls the hair right off.
Hmm... I don't know.
Something seems... off.
Oh, really? Off?
Hmm, could it possibly be the glued-on chest hair?
I look like a werewolf with a terminal illness.
No, that's not it.
Oh, I know!
This does not make me feel stronger.
At all.
Last up, we have to do something about your smell.
It's the final step on your journey
to crushing this year's PE test.
What's wrong with my smell?
Nothing, that's the problem.
Ah!
Zosimo says, "When you leave the gym,
you should be able to taste how bad you smell."
Makes total sense.
Uncle Pedro smells gnarly after his racquetball matches.
Like, if a fart could drink a warm glass of milk,
and then fart again?
Just like that.
Uh?
According to Zosimo, spreading garlic, orange marmalade,
brewer's yeast, blue cheese
and a pinch of fish food under your armpits
should give us that special unwashed stink
we're looking for.
Didi, I really don't see how this is gonna...
I'll tell you how this is gonna work.
[bell ringing]
[grunting]
[sniffing]
Ah-hah! I'm ready to shred, coach!
[retching]
That smell!
It's like an oyster dipped in barbershop disinfectant!
Get out of here, porcupine head!
I'll pass you, just get out of here!
[retching]
And that, viewers at home, is how you pass gym class.
[squeaking]
Ah, get 'em off! They're chewing my eyeballs!
Little monsters!
Ah, Locker Makeover Day.
A time for renewal, a chance for a fresh start.
- A-- - Watch out!
That locker's about to burst!
My locker.
To the untrained eye, yeah, it could appear that I hold on
to a lot of useless junk.
That I am perhaps a "hoarder".
But, trust me, every item is extremely important.
Take this, for example.
I mean, sure, it's nothing now, but someday it'll be
the first money and cheesy snack plant of its kind.
I will be lauded a genius. A rich genius.
[laughing] Oh, yes!
I will indeed.
These are my teacher Mrs Godfrey's fake teeth.
I mean, each one is a special memory of how I pranked her.
[chuckling]
[screaming]
[cheering]
[retching]
[cheering] Whoo-hoo!
[sneezing]
[cheering] Holy cow, what a catch!
That's it, from now on I'm gumming all my food.
These are the ashes of my dead pets.
Sadly, none of them lived past a year.
But it's my dad's fault for putting me in charge because...
[sighs] Okay, truth?
You guys don't know me yet, but I'm a party.
My life can get reality television stupid.
Taking care of something living like a pet
is definitely not in my wheelhouse.
Anywho, I'm working on bringing those dead pets back to...
life!
[screaming] Life!
That's it? There's like barely any ash.
They were hamsters, dude.
Hamsters are tiny and mostly fur.
Nah, a hamster would leave way more ash than that.
Someone's been messing with your ash, bro.
Oh, no way am I getting rid of this.
It contains every gum I've ever chewed since the second grade.
I have to keep this baby going.
Otherwise, what will I have to pass on to my son?
Time to dig a little deeper.
I'm sure there's something I can get rid...
[gasping] No way!
Oh, my forged notes!
Thought I'd lost these!
This pile of papers represents
a year's worth of homework I've gotten out of doing.
My neighbor's dog ate my homework.
It's from the "vetenarian".
A samurai slashed it into a million tiny pieces.
It's from the samurai.
There was an explosion at the plant.
Half the city was wiped out.
Don't believe me? Ask the mayor.
All right, if you think I've accomplished nothing today,
just you wait.
I still haven't told you the best thing
about Locker Makeover Day.
[straining]
Rigging your locker for the unsuspecting victim.
Oh, hi, Randy.
Huh? Don't say hi to me, freak.
[screaming]
Okay, bye, Randy.
I'm gonna get you, Nate!
[music playing]