Hello Conan, how are you?
Hey, how are you?
Good to see you, is he going to be okay?
(yelling) Back up, back up! Okay.
Sit down!
Okay.
Hello Conan, how are you?
[Conan] Great, how are you?
Nice to see you here. Good to see you.
Very nice to see you.
So, we'll talk about what's going on here
in just a second.
Of course.
(knocks)
This is cement, you know.
Cement, is this solid cement?
Give it a little tap.
That is real cement and I will testify to that.
It feels good for him when you tap it.
There's a lot of itches going on in there.
It's clearly very erotic for him, yeah.
(audience laughs)
Let's talk about the special, the special,
It's not a special, it's a series.
A series?
A whole damn series, going to run forever.
[Conan] It's gonna let you, it'll never end?
It'll go and go and go.
Never end no, because the name of the show
is Penn and Teller Bull (bleep)
and we're exposing bull (bleep).
And when you are deciding to mine the fertile fields
of bull (bleep), you've got a clear forever.
It's gonna go forever.
(audience cheers)
Why would that stop?
You know, it's too bad, Penn and Teller's show
on Showtime was wonderful,
but then everyone stopped lying and they're out of a job.
(laughs)
It's not gonna happen, we're safe forever.
Well, you see, you're on cable, we are not.
Uh huh.
So, we won't mention the title anymore.
Well, 'cause it's on a different network.
Exactly.
(laughs)
That's not the problem.
We're on a competing network that we can say,
there's a show called Bull (bleep).
(audience laughs)
Yeah, that's the reason, By Penn and Teller.
That's the reason. But it's not another network
you can't hear about.
You've exposed the corporate fraud.
So you can't say Showtime?
No, you can't, no, that's a dirty word here.
Don't bleep it.
But bull (bleep), have fun, yeah.
We'll bleep that.
Yeah, we should probably talk about what's going on.
This is a publicity stunt.
Is it?
It's working.
[Conan] It's working all of America.
We're working on a show
that everyone in America is watching.
[Conan] Yes.
Every single human being.
[Conan] Every single human being.
Because of our publicity stunt.
You see David Blaine does nothing.
He gets buried.
He gets buried in the box for seven days.
He does nothing.
He got frozen in ice.
Does nothing.
Right.
And he stands on a pole, and does nothing.
[Conan] Right.
So we thought we don't have enough money
for Teller to do absolutely nothing
for seven days or a week or something.
But we have plenty for him to just put a block
on his head for, let's call it a month.
It hasn't been a month.
Let's call it a year.
He's been in this block for a year.
[Conan] (laughs)
Swear to God, he's been on this block for a year.
He can't eat.
He can barely breathe.
He's sucking wind up his neck.
[Conan] Now, (laughs)
Which means something in our age.
[Conan] Yeah.
(both laugh)
So he's encased in here, in cement.
Yeah he's encased into concrete.
And he's been in here for a long time.
Can he hear us right now?
(yells) Can you hear us?
Yes, he can hear us.
[Conan] Okay.
And this is good.
And also, because you know,
David Blaine has a lot of money behind him.
He can just do nothing
but we found that Teller still has to do stuff
while he's in there.
So Teller has been doing a card trick.
You guys want to see a card trick in there?
Alright, he's going to do a card trick.
While in cement.
(audience cheers)
A card trick while,
You know, when you say card trick, America answers.
(audience cheers)
They love to see card tricks.
A card trick with his head encased in cement.
Encased in cement.
I don't think it's ever been done.
Well, we did it in rehearsal and you saw it.
[Conan] Okay, stop it.
Okay.
(audience laughs)
And it went well, you liked it.
You said, "That'll be good."
I don't know what you're talking about!
Okay, okay.
I arrived here,
it is now almost 1:00 in the morning.
He had that on his head
for let's call it five years,
Okay.
For five years.
For over 14 years, this cement has been over his head.
For 14 years, this has been his head.
I don't think I'd ever seen you before.
And I have no idea what's going to happen.
Teller would like us to get going.
[Conan] Oh yeah, okay.
He's running out of air.
However long it's been.
It's been too long.
Okay.
He's going to do a card trick.
(yelling) Teller, time for the card Trick!
Oh, sorry.
He's all set.
There's the deck of cards.
[Conan] Okay.
Now what he's going to do is he's just,
he's going to do this all himself.
[Conan] Right.
(yelling) Show the cards to the people, Teller.
Show that they're all different.
Okay, that's fine.
Show them to Conan.
Show them,
Okay, no.
Show him to Conan.
Over here.
Hey, yeah.
You see, all those cards are different.
Right.
Now, he's just gonna deal through them.
And you're gonna just say "Stop,"
whenever the hell you choose.
I can just say whenever anytime?
[Penn] Yeah, you're gonna get the next card
whenever you say it
[Conan] Can he go a little faster?
It's going too slow.
[Penn] (yelling) Go faster!
[Conan] Okay, and I'm just gonna say, "Stop."
Okay, you want the next one?
Now do you want to go further?
Cause you can go further.
[Conan] Okay, let's go a little further, I don't care.
Because I don't want you cry baby-ing,
"I wanted to go further."
[Conan] (mocking) I wanted to go further.
When do you want to stop?
Stop.
Okay.
That one right there?
You sure? This one right here.
That one right there?
Yeah.
Okay, now Teller is going to show that to the audience,
but more than that,
and this is the part that's so amazing, Conan.
He's gonna tear off a corner of it and give it to you.
He's going to give you part of the card.
He's tearing off the corner now.
[Conan] Okay.
And now give, give Conan,
give Conan part of the, you want to give Conan this part,
[Conan] The little part.
Little part, and see then they match up in the corner.
So you have that right there.
Right, they match up.
And then what you're going to do
is we're going to vanish this, okay.
Now, as I said in our TV show on Showtime.
(laughs) I said it.
We're exposing all these frauds and stuffs.
So we do a little bit of voodoo.
(yelling) Get out the tongs!
He's got the tongs.
I wanna show you this vanish.
This is a vanish.
Does he just always carry tongs?
Of course, don't you?
[Conan] Okay, I don't know.
Pull out your tongs.
(laughs) You don't want to see my tongs (mumbles).
(yelling) Okay, open the tongs!
Okay, good.
(yelling) Close the tongs!
There we go.
Now see, this is going to vanish
in a mysterious voodoo way.
(fire roars)
It's vanishing now.
You can almost see it melting
[Conan] Yeah.
[Penn] before your very eyes.
Yeah, that's really mysterious voodoo
you're doing there, buddy.
[Penn] It's vanishing.
The voodoo part comes later.
[Conan] (laughs) Okay.
After it's totally vanished,
but this is something we were studying.
All these stupid occult sciences.
We came up with this.
Now watch the magic transference as the spirit
of the ash moves through the concrete.
Do that special move, Teller.
(thunk)
So that's that's just a beautiful thing.
(crowd laughs)
Nothing's on fire, (bleep).
Oh that's fire actually, okay.
It's all right, it's all right.
He, he kinda likes it.
(laughs) You missed a piece up here.
Oh sorry, yeah yeah, okay.
Now we're gonna, this is what will be the punchline.
Oh, you're going to love, you'll want to,
you know, after you see this you're going to know
why he wants this.
Because if I didn't put this over him
he'd be madder than a wet ham.
We're gonna get you out in a second.
Now watch this, cause this is the big reveal.
You're going to watch this closely on Friday night.
11:00, Showtime.
Yeah.
We got a show called, well, you know what it's called?
Is that better?
(laughs)
You want to be coy?
Yes, yes.
Here we go and, here's your card, Conan.
(thunks)
Oh, it's you're supposed to
(cracking)
Oh.
Oh wow, okay.
(thuds)
Oops, sorry.
[Conan] That's okay, that just hit me in the face.
[Penn] And Conan, is that your card right there?
Is that your card right there?
[Audience Member] Yeah!
[Conan] Oh my God.
[Penn] That's the card?
(audience cheers)
Match up the corner there.
(audience cheers)
[Conan] Look at that, that is pretty amazing.
That is pretty amazing.
[Penn] (yelling) It fits exactly!
(yelling) And that's not bull (bleep)!
Fits exactly!
Perfectly.
All right, thank you very much.
Excellent, Penn and Teller.
You hungry? You know
what time that premiers.
Tomorrow night at 11, on Showtime.
[Audience Member] (yelling) Teller!
Have some compassion.
Penn and Teller, everybody.
Laura Cantrell coming up, we'll take a break.