- [Man] Mark Manson tells it how it is.
"(bleep) positivity.
"Let's be honest, (bleep) is (bleep)
"and we have to live with it."
He believes that today we're facing
a psychological epidemic.
He says, "We believe that it's not okay
"for things to suck sometimes,
"then we unconsciously start blaming ourselves.
"We start to feel as though
"something is inherently wrong with us,
"which drives us to all sorts of overcompensation,
"like buying 40 pairs of shoes,
"downing Xanax with a vodka chaser on a Tuesday night
"or shooting up a school bus full of kids."
And on that note, let's go to Lesson One:
Suffering is Conducive to Happiness to an Extent.
As Freud once said, "One day, in retrospect,
"the years of struggle will strike you
"as the most beautiful."
The self-help industry is full of books and gurus
proclaiming that by avoiding suffering altogether,
we will achieve enlightenment.
Mark has a different perspective.
Given that suffering is inevitable, instead of asking,
"How do I stop suffering," we should be asking,
"why am I suffering?
"For what purpose?"
Lesson Two: What to Give a Fuck About.
So, Mark talks a lot about values,
and values direct your life.
So, good values are reality-based,
socially constructive, immediate, and controllable.
Some examples are open-mindedness, my favourite,
honesty, and creativity.
Bad values are superstitious, socially destructive,
and not immediate or controllable.
Here are four common values people hold that actually suck.
See if you can figure out why.
Number one: pleasure.
Number two: material success.
Number three: always being right.
And number four: staying positive.
Lesson Three, and this one's gonna get messy:
Question Your Beliefs.
If people keep asking you out on a date
but you keep saying you're ugly,
you're probably not; you just believe it.
I knew a guy in high school who held the belief
that he was ugly, couldn't get girls,
and would die alone in his old age.
As far as I know, his situation hasn't changed
because he hasn't implemented this lesson.
Also, I've been experimenting with a vegan diet
in the last five months.
After relentlessly researching every little nuance
of both sides of the vegan argument,
there was a point where I was nearly convinced
that a vegan diet was the most logically sound way of eating
if I were to be healthy,
reduce animal suffering, and save the planet.
But by constantly questioning my beliefs as they developed,
I realised there wasn't a black or white answer.
If you're what I'd call a hardcore vegan,
you're probably sitting there right now thinking,
"Brandon, you've got it all wrong, mate!" (laughing)
So, without turning this video
into a full-blown crack-storm and digressing,
here are five resources I found
when I actually implemented this lesson
and questioned my beliefs about the vegan diet
being superior to all others.
The first is Dave Asprey's article:
10 Claims from What the Health,
that new documentary from the founders of Cowspiracy,
and the Real Science Behind Them.
Number two, a critical review of How Not to Die
by Michael Greger, a book I previously gave a lot of praise
but now have different opinions about.
Number three, the Shocking Truth About Veganism
with Tai Lopez and some other really smart dude.
You can watch the video, link in the description.
Number four, a study that shows 84% of vegetarians
and vegans go back to eating meat.
And number five, Diet Cults; it's a book.
And as the title suggests,
certain diets, including a vegan one,
can develop a cult-like following
that fails to question their beliefs adequately.
Even these resources aren't perfect,
but in my experience, they gave me enough food for thought.
With that said, there are certainly positive aspects
of veganism that I continue to implement in my life today.
But the point of this whole lesson,
I've really digressed here, is to question your beliefs.
Lesson Four: Manson's Law of Avoidance.
The more something threatens your identity,
the more you will avoid it.
It's why people are afraid of failure.
It threatens who they think they are.
So they procrastinate.
This may explain why there's so many
wantrepreneurs out there who say they are thinking
or planning to do this or that idea
instead of actually getting (bleep) done.
Lesson Five: Action Isn't Just the Effect of Motivation,
It's the Cause of It.
This lesson has been hammered home to me not just by Mark,
but by Tai Lopez and also MJ,
the author of the Millionaire Fastlane.
Sitting around waiting for magical motivation come to you
is a load of crap.
Start filming videos, selling wolf mugs, or writing books.
The hardest part is getting started.
But when you do and experience small wins,
your brain will release dopamine
and help you develop that momentum.
Lesson Six: Absolute Freedom by Itself Means Nothing.
Mark travelled to 55 countries.
Yep, he lived a digital nomad dream.
He says, "When you're pursuing a wide breadth of experience,
"there are diminishing returns to each new adventure,
"each new person or thing.
"When you've never left your home country,
"the first country you visit
"inspires a massive perspective shift
"because you have such a narrow experience base to draw on."
He now lives in New York with his wife and has bills to pay.
And he likes it that way,
even though it doesn't sound glamorous.
Freedom simply grants the opportunity for greater meaning.
As for finding out what that meaning is,
hell, I wouldn't know. (laughing)
I'm still trying to figure that one out.
If you've got an answer, let me know below.
Lesson Seven: Freedom in Commitment.
Mark says, "Ultimately, the only way to achieve meaning
"and a sense of importance in one's life
"is through a rejection of alternatives,
"a narrowing of freedom,
"a choice of commitment to one place, one belief,
"or, gulp, (gulping) one person.
"Commitment gives you freedom
"because you're no longer distracted.
"It makes decision-making easier."
If you're subscribed, you may have noticed
that I changed every single thumbnail on this channel
and deleted old videos.
This whole year, I've been painfully struggling
for my creative freedom.
But I now feel much happier
committing to a single thumbnail style,
doing more book-related videos,
and interviewing authors only for the podcast,
rather than whoever the hell I want.
I want OnePercentBetter
to be the number one authority on books,
which means I'll have to make sacrifices
to make that happen.
Lesson Eight: Emotions Are Overrated.
Decision-making based on emotional intuition,
without the aid of reason to keep it in line,
pretty much always sucks.
You know who bases their entire lives on their emotions?
Three-year-old kids and dogs.
You know what else three-year-olds and dogs do?
(bleep) on the carpet.
Lesson Nine: The Do Something Principle.
If you're stuck on a problem,
don't sit there and think about it;
just start working on it.
Who do you think will win a game of chess?
The guy that studies a textbook for a year
or the guy that actually moves the goddamn pieces?
Lesson 10: Don't Try.
Have you ever noticed
when you stop giving a (bleep) about something,
everything seems to fall in to place?
Well, in my interviews with entrepreneurs,
I hear this over and over again.
It sounds stupid, but think about it.
Those who give too many (bleep) about making money
don't make it because they become selfish.
They fail to listen to the market
or what their customers truly want.
Those who give too many (bleep) about getting girls
come across as desperate, anxious,
and end up going home empty-handed
from a night out with the lads.
I wanna end this lesson on a quote
that profoundly impacted me.
Here it is.
"A man who is happy does not need to look at himself
"in front of a mirror and tell himself he's happy."
Thanks for watching, guys.
And before you go, I wanna know,
do you disagree with any of these lessons?
I'm down for different perspectives,
so please drop a comment below; I read every one.
I appreciate it and have a good one.
Cheers.