I've wanted to be a parent for a very long time,
and it is such a tremendous experience,
and...
I feel like Stephanie and I are doing a great job.
I really do. And...
I do, but I also feel like it would be reasonable
if somebody had called Child Protective Services...
a couple of times.
A couple of times.
You know, it happens.
You have a rough day or a weird day.
No, when Max and Finn
were just a couple of months old...
we were so amused
'cause people would come over to meet the babies
and what we would do is we'd prop them up with our hands
underneath their armpits
and then we'd say,
"Yep, they're pretty much walking."
Then we'd let go and then their little noodle legs
would buckle.
And then we'd catch 'em half an inch
before they hit the ground.
Oh, is that a treat.
If you have a baby...
I highly recommend trying this out.
If you don't have a baby but know someone with a baby,
ask to borrow the baby. Nobody will regret this.
The baby's clueless, just like...
They're just a blob, and you catch it.
That's the key, you have to catch them.
You can't just let the little blobs fall
because that's when there's true trouble.
Well, with all of the exhaustion and busy lives,
it's hard to keep up with the house
in the way that we did before
and I was sitting...
I was sitting on the couch, and Max toddled over to me.
And...
handed me a gigantic...
gross ball of cat hair and lint.
And the thing is that at their age,
they put everything in their mouths.
But he even knew.
"You have to get this out of my reach.
Me and my brother here, we need you to remove this."
And I just looked, I was like,
"This is icky. This is so gross. Yes."
And I dropped it behind the couch.
We got Max and Finn these little--
We call them their cars.
And these little things they sit in,
there's four tiny wheels underneath
and a plastic tray in front of them,
and I somehow figured out
that Finn loves
when I kick his little car,
and he shoots across the room at a high speed.
Then he scoots back towards me
and then I kick him again.
Here's the problem:
the entire front of our house is just all windows.
And there's a sidewalk that runs along our house,
and the neighbors are walking by,
and all they saw was me kicking
and this tiny little baby head
flying to the back of the house
at a very high speed
and then just...
scooting back towards me and then kicking again.
And at that point, I just thought,
"Okay, I have to close these curtains."
But then we just kept making memories.
Me and Finn.