T’was on a dark Halloween night,
much like this one.
I was all alone in my house.
It was deathly silent.
Not the whistle of the wind
nor the whisper of a soul could be heard.
That’s when I suddenly realised,
I’d forgotten to go to the shops and buy candy for the Trick-or-Treaters!
By the following morning,
my house was covered in broken eggs.
You were supposed to tell a ghost story.
I’m a ghost -
that’s my story.
How did I fail the assignment?
You were supposed to tell a scary story.
Getting your house egged isn’t scary - right guys?
Why are you freaking out?
Because it’s Halloween night and we don’t have any treats!
That ghost’s story really struck a nerve!
Relax - no one’s gonna be Trick-or-Treat-ing.
This is Australia. We don’t even celebrate Halloween.
This isn’t about a “Holiday”.
This is about chocolate!
Chocolate crosses all borders - all cultures!
In the US, it’s “candy”.
The French call it “chocolat”.
Here it’s Cadbury.
But wherever you are, kids want it,
and if they don’t get it, they’ll yolk your ass!
In Germany, it’s called “schockolade”.
NO! LIGHTS OFF! LIGHTS OFF!
Why??
Because!
Our only hope - our only chance -
is if they think we’re not home!
And now by switching on the light you’ve as good as fired the egg yourself!
You need to calm down.
I was calm.
I was sitting silently in the dark,
not turning on a light show like I’m signaling a ship!
You’re cracking up.
Cracking up? Like an egg that's cracking up
as it explodes over the exterior of a house
that was unable to provide unforgiving children
with timely schockolade?
What was that?
That? Nothing -
probably just a tree branch falling or a gang member getting shot.
No.
It’s something bad.
Where did it come from?
You think a chicken walked up here and laid it in the middle of our doormat?
We know exactly where it came from - it’s a threat!
Why would anyone threaten us?
No one’s even come to our door and asked us for candy yet.
It’s a pre-emptive egg! A warning shot across the bow!
If we fail to produce candy, this is what awaits us!
That makes no sense - why would they assume we wouldn’t have any candy?
And why would they risk offending us if their main objective is to obtain candy from us?
Rita, it’s “trick or treat”, not “leave peacefully or treat”.
We need to show strength! We need to show we won’t be intimidated!
We need to show that we will not negotiate with eggorists!
That’s them.
Shut the door and grab a weapon!
SHOW YOURSELVES, COWARDS!
- I’ve got your egg! - Get back inside!
If you cause a commotion kids will think we’re putting on some weird
non-visual Halloween display and come running.
Good point.
THEY’RE AT THE GATES!
Nick?
What are you doing? I nearly took your head off!
Just coming back from an evening stroll.
Is that all right?
IS THIS A HOTEL
OR A PRISON??
That’s one of our neighbour’s chickens.
It must have got loose, walked up there and laid an egg in the middle of our doormat.
The house got egged.
Don’t you see?
It was a self-fulfilling...
fear.
I think it was just you being dumb.
Happy Halloween.
Oh that reminds me -
I got us some candy.
Trick or Subscribe.
Fine! Have it your way!
I know you want to treat me
If you refuse, I’ll fling and throw
If I have to egg you for confectionery
I don’t mind, cos it means that much to me
Ain’t too proud to egg, for sweet candy
Please don’t trick me, girl