>> EVERYONE KNOWS THAT BIG CORPORATIONS LOVE MARKETING TO
KIDS AND THE YOUNGER THE BETTER.
>> YOU WANT TO GET KIDS WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG.
YOU WANT TO GET THEM HAVING SOME KIND OF EMOTIONAL FEELING ABOUT
THE BRAND. >> AND ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL
GROUPS TARGETING KIDS ISN'T A CORPORATION.
IT'S RELIGION.
THE CHURCH IS LOSING MARKET SHARE BECAUSE MILLENIALS AREN'T
SHOWING UP.
SO CHRISTIANS ARE GOING AFTER THE NEXT GENERATION OF KIDS.
EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN GROUPS OPERATE PROGRAMS INSIDE PUBLIC
SCHOOLS ACROSS THE U.S.
FOR KIDS AS YOUNG AS 5, AND ROUGH OF THE BIGGEST GROUPS IS
CALLED THE GOOD NEWS CLUB.
I MET WITH REVEREND BRIAN GREEN TO DISCUSS IT, OR IS THIS GUY
JUST SOME AMISH FARMHAND?
TO MAKE SURE HE'S LEGIT I DRILLED HIM ON THE BASICS.
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT JESUS WILL COME BACK TO VISIT US?
>> HE'S GOING TO RETURN, AND THAT WILL BE THE END.
>> DO YOU BELIEVE THAT ALL ANIMALS COME FROM TWO ANIMALS
BEING ON A BOAT?
>> YES. >> HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S AS HE?
>> GOD HAS A PENIS, RIGHT?
>> HE DOES IN THE SENSE OF JESUS CHRIST.
>> JESUS CHRIST DEFINITELY HAD A PEENIES.
>> THIS DOESN'T BOTHER YOU AT ALL TO TALK LIKE THAT, DOES?
JUST CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT GENITALS AND --
>> I AM WHO I AM.
I AM WHAT GOD MAN ME, YOUNG MAN.
I AM WHAT GOD MADE ME. >> YEAH, HE'S REAL.
HOW ABOUT THE GOOD NEWS CLUBS.
ARE SCHOOL KIDS ACTUALLY SIGNING UP.
>> GETTING AS MANY KIDS AT SOME OF THESE MEETINGS THAT I WISH I
HAD IN MY CHURCHES. >> BUT IF YOU LOOK BEYOND THE
POSITIVE NAMES GOOD NEWS CLUB HAVE A PRETTY BROAD DEFINITION
OF GOOD LIKE THIS LESSON COMPLAIN.
WHEN YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT THE MEALS YOUR MOM OR DADS COOK IT'S
A SIN AND SIN IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH.
SEEMS A LITTLE HEAVY FOR 5-YEAR-OLDS, SO WHY IS IT
WORKING SO WELL?
MARKETING EXPERT EXPLAINS. >> WHAT MARKETING ADVERTISING
ALSO DOES IS THEY TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT OKAY THE WAY YOU ARE.
YOU HAVE TO USE OUR PRODUCT IN ORDER TO BE OKAY.
>> SO TO RECRUIT KIDS TO RELIGION, YOU'VE GOT TO SELL
THEM ON THE WHOLE EDETERMINE DAM NATION PROBLEM.
>> YOU SHOULD TELL KIDS ABOUT HELL.
THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT HELL AS BEING A PLACE WHERE THE FLAME
NEVER GOES OUT, HEAT AND FIRE AND FESTERING WOUNDS, JUST NEVER
GOING AWAY AND NEVER HEALING, AND THAT'S KIND OF THE SENSE YOU
OUGHT TO HAVE ABOUT NOT WANTING TO GO TO HELL.
>> COULDN'T YOU JUST TEACH THE KIDS TO BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER,
LOVE.
THE SIMPLE RULE, TREAT PEOPLE AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED.
>> OKAY.
SOMEBODY HAS TO TEACH THAT. >> BUT ONE GROUP IS TEACHING
THAT.
TO COMBAT THE GOOD NEWS CLUB THEY ARE OFFERING FUN,
SCIENCE-BASED AFTER-SCHOOL CLUBS AND SKIP ALL THAT SCARY FIRE AND
BRIMSTONE.
I SPOKE TO THE CLUB'S NATIONAL DIRECTOR.
>> OUR AFTER-SCHOOL CLUB FOCUSING ON TEACHING CHILDREN
CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS, FACING THEIR BELIEFS ON THE BEST
SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE ADVANTAGE. >> SOUNDS GREAT, AND WHAT'S THE
NAME OF YOUR CLUB?
>> THE AFTER-SCHOOL SATAN CLUB.
>> REALLY A CATCHY NAME AND IT'S MADE THE NEWS EVERYWHERE.
>> THE NEW AFTER SCHOOL SATAN CLUB, YOU BRING UP SATAN.
>> ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT PUTTING IT INTO SCHOOLS
SOMEHOW SOME WAY. >> AND WITH SNACKS HAND THINGS
LIKE THAT. >> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> THEY ARE OFFERING SNACKS. >> SO WHAT EXACTLY DO THESE GUYS
BELIEVE?
>> WE'RE ATHEISTIC SATANISTS. >> HEIM AN ATHEIST AND AS FAR AS
I KNOW I BELIEVE IN NOTHING. >> YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN A
LITERAL SATAN?
>> DON'T BELIEVE IN AN ACTUAL SATAN.
>> NO. >> A SATAN CLUB RUN BY PEOPLE
WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN SUN WITH A FUN SCIENCE CURRICULUM WHICH
NEVER MENTIONS SATAN.
AT LEAST SATAN IS TRYING TO [ BLEEP ] WITH PEOPLE TO MAKE A
POINT OR DO THEY WANT TO GIVE KIDS AN ALTERNATIVE TO CHRISTIAN
CLUBS. >> THERE'S 3,800 GOOD NEWS CLUBS
ACROSS AMERICA.
HOW MANY BRANCHES DO YOU HAVE?
>> WE DON'T HAVE ANY IN OPERATION.
YOU'RE LOSING THIS OPERATION.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU COULD MAYBE MARKET IT BETTER, CALL YOURSELF
THE CRITICAL THINKING CLUB?
>> NO. >> YOU SAY YOU'RE SATANISTS BUT
YOU DON'T BELIEVE. >> WE'RE SELF-IDENTIFIED
SATANISTS. >> IT'S LIKE SAYING I'M A
UNICORNISTS.
I'VE HEARD OF UNICORNS AND BELIEVE IN EUROPE CORNS.
>> THE MISCONCEPTION COMES FROM A SUPERNATURAL POINT OF VIEW.
SATANISM ITSELF IS PREEL DOMINANTLY --
>> THE PROBLEM WITH HER COMPLEX ARGUMENTING IS THAT IT WILL
NEVER [ BLEEP ] SELL.
SHE NEEDS A MESSAGE THAT'S SIMPLE, EMOTIONAL, MAGICAL.
YOU KNOW, LIKE THE CHRISTIAN.
I GUESS IT'S UP TO ME TO SHAPE IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG MINDS
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
>> KIDS, WELCOME TO THE JIM JEFFERIES ACTUAL NEWS CLUB.
THESE ARE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE THAT THE BIBLE WILL NOT TEACH
YOU.
WHEN YOU GET MARRIED, ALWAYS PUT THE HOUSE IN YOUR NAME.
VERY IMPORTANT.
MANY TEACHERS WILL TELL YOU IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO YOU CAN
ACHIEVE ANYTHING.
THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL A LIE.
MANY OF YOU WILL NEVER ACHIEVE GREATNESS BECAUSE GREATNESS
ISN'T INSIDE YOU.
SUCCESS WILL NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY.
>> WHAT.
>> I'M VERY SUCCESSFUL, AND I'M MISERABLE AS [ BLEEP ].
>> WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
>> JIM'S AFTER SCHOOL CLASS YOU CAN SWEAR ALL YOU WANT!
QUIET.
>> WHAT?
>> DO YOU THINK IF HEAVEN AND HELL DOESN'T EXIST AND WHEN YOU
DIE IT'S JUST LIKE FALLING ASLEEP, WOULD YOU STILL BE NICE
TO OTHER PEOPLE?
>> YES.
>> OKAY.
REPEAT AFTER ME.
DON'T BE A [ BLEEP ]. >> DON'T BE A [ BLEEP ].
>> THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO TEACH YOU.
CLASS DISMISSED.