[Music]
so i've been seeing someone for a few
months and you know it's fairly new
and i was sleeping over at his house
when i asked do you mind if i use your
toothpaste
yeah sure go ahead i mean i leave the
cap off all the time so it's like kind
of gross but
i don't know like looks fine to me
oh how did you miss that i i don't know
i just
used this one oh i don't know what that
is
it says toothpaste huh
oh i don't know i don't know what that
is oh
i don't know what that is yeah i went
into fight-or-flight mode real quick
wait so just to be super clear
you don't know whose toothpaste this is
and in case you haven't caught on
when i said you don't know whose
toothpaste this is what i meant was
are you saying other people and by that
i meant wait are you [ __ ]
other people and by that i meant for
your sake i hope you're not because i
will lose
my goddamn mind and by that i meant so
like while we're on the topic uh what
are we
and by that i meant i mean i think our
genetics could be the greatest crossover
of all time i'm just saying
and by that i meant i mean not to freak
you out or anything like i don't want to
rush into having a baby
you know don't worry if i get pregnant i
will go to planned parenthood
you know but i'm on the pill you know of
course i'm on the pill it's just
you know what's happened before by that
i meant but if you get me pregnant
and i find out that you've been hooking
up with other people this entire time
i will lose the very little chill that i
have
this will not be fun you know all this
was sort of communicated telepathically
because i literally only said
you don't know whose toothpaste this is
oh no no that's my mom's she brought
over like six bags of
you know toiletries and paper towel
stuff when quarantine hit
so that's probably why i don't recognize
it you know i was so relieved
but of course i didn't want to be a fool
so
do you really think a lie detector test
is necessary i'll be
i mean i want to believe you but you
have every incentive to lie and no
motivation to tell the truth
okay but do you think this is like a
great foundation for the beginning of
whatever this is great question to start
what is this
i don't know what do you want it to be i
don't know
where do you see it going i don't know
this is pointless
men don't have a y there never is a y
they don't know why they do anything
true damn it and that ladies and
gentlemen and non-bbs
is how you don't figure anything out but
you know what sometimes instead of good
old communication you just have to
continue to live in
obscurity and uncertainty and the fear
of disappointment for as long as you can
it's a choice i stand by it i'm anna
akana
and fine stay awesome gotham