- I'll tell you where we first met.
- Where did we first meet?
- At a GQ party.
- Facts! Oh, actually tell that story
- Right. You said to me...
- "You smell like weed."
- And I said, "I am weed."
- And then you vanished.
Hi, I'm Megan Fox.
- Hi, I'm Colson Baker.
- Oh, is that your real name?
- Sometimes.
- And this is...
- [Both] "The GQ Couple Quiz"!
- Okay.
How many tattoos do I have?
Name 'em out while you...
It's probably best to go by.
- Your ankle. Back of your neck.
The Nietzsche, you have it back.
- Mm-hmm.
- You got ours. You got my nickname.
And then the one I just gave you.
And then the one right below the one I gave you,
which is the Yin Yang.
- That one doesn't count.
No, that one doesn't count.
My other rib cage is also tattooed.
- That's what I said.
- You only said Nietzsche in my back.
- Oh, well count the other ribcage too.
That's nine, right?
- The bonus if you wanna redeem yourself is,
what does my back tattoo say?
The one on my shoulder-
- "Butterflies have gilded wings."
- Close. You're in the vicinity. That's not correct.
But, do you know where it's from?
- Oscar Wilde.
- No. It's Shakespeare.
- Ah.
- Go for the butterflies.
Go for it. I know you can do it.
- Butterflies...
- No.
- Goddamn it.
- There's a butterfly in there but that's not how it starts.
We... - We...
- Will all...
- "Laugh at the butterflies with gilded wings."
- So close.
"We will all laugh at gilded butterflies."
It's from "King Lear" and written by Shakespeare.
- Okay. Do you know what that meant?
- What is the Nietzsche quote on my rib say?
- We are doing AP literature class right now.
That is for sure not happening.
- Okay. You get...
Because you were close on the number,
I'll give you one half of a point for that,
but that was rough.
What's something on my bucket list?
- Be abducted by a UFO.
- I'll give you two points for that.
Two points.
What was my first acting role?
- Oh, Mary Kate and Ashley.
- I think- - Oh.
And the soap opera that you won't let me watch.
- I swear to God, if you play clips from that...
- Play clips!
- Correct. I'll give you a point for that.
Okay. What is my biggest pet peeve?
- When I eat and I'm talking to you in your ear.
- I don't think it has to be related to you specifically,
like just what's my biggest peeve.
- The sound of chewing. - But that sound of chewing.
- Yeah, yeah. There's a name for that. I have that.
What was my favorite movie as a kid?
- It's really hard to decipher
when like we still watch kid movies all the time.
"Hook" you stand by.
- Okay. I'll give you a point for that.
What's my favorite movie now?
And if you don't know this, I'm gonna be very upset at you.
What's my favorite movie now?
I can't wait for it to get cold
and I'm gonna make popcorn- - No, no. You don't have to...
You don't have to go there.
It's like an eight-series piece.
We're talking about "Harry, mother[beep], Potter".
- Yes.
- Don't think that I'm not tapped in.
- But which one is my favorite.
- Obviously, "Prisoner of Azkaban".
- "Prisoner of Azkaban". - "Prisoner of Azkaban".
- Yes. Yes. That was the best book too.
- Okay. - Agreed.
- I'll give you three points for that.
- Okay.
- What film am I most proud of? Easy.
- "Jennifer's Body". - Yeah.
- Eating boys left and right.
- Where is my favorite place to visit?
- I mean, any place that was around for thousands of years,
any place that has history.
- Your answer is nebulous,
but I will count it as mostly correct.
- The straight up answer
would be the forest, a tree.
- Okay, fine. The forest. - Period.
- Yeah.
Or any anywhere without people or buildings or electricity?
- Yeah.
- Where did we first meet,
and what or when was our first date?
Well, what was our first date?
- Our first date was epic.
Our first date, I picked you up
in old-school cadillac. - That was our first
out of the house date, but...
- And I had roses.
- Thousands of roses.
- Thousands of roses bedded on a hill,
looking over Topanga Canyon.
And we ate sushi. - Sushi.
- And we shared a kiss. And our first date...
Our first date, we breathed each other.
That was all we did.
And then our second date...
- What did I wanna be when I was a kid?
- You wanted to be an actor since you were two.
- Correct.
I'm not keeping track of your points, but you're doing good.
[crew laughing]
What is my hidden talent?
No. Buddha, don't you dare. Don't you dare.
- Okay.
- Only PG-rated answers.
- Okay. God.
Well, one year, your IQ is...
If you are my "Jeopardy" partner,
you would honestly win every single category.
I've never...
You are an almanac, and encyclopedia, and dictionary
all in one.
- Okay. So my hidden talent is that I'm not stupid.
I appreciate you. That's five points.
- I love you.
- I mean, if he doesn't...
There's no way he doesn't know this.
What is my astrological sign?
Yeah. I mean...
I don't even know the answer to this question.
How old was I when I started modeling?
Let's both guess.
- On the count of three. One, two, three.
- 11. - 12.
- Okay. - Okay.
- Let's find out.
What's my favorite way to decompress after a long day?
[Megan laughing]
- Do you wanna tell them what the doctor said?
- We cannot say that on camera.
- [Colson] How do you even know what it is?
- Because she-
- Okay, look. What the doctor said was- [beep]
- You are insane. - Okay.
- We cannot say that on camera.
- [Crew] You cannot say that on camera.
- That's your favorite way for me to decompress
after a stressful day.
What's my favorite way to decompress after a stressful day?
- That would be tea,
and a foot massage,
and reading a book, and watching a show together.
- Probably crying a few tears.
- And definitely crying.
- Okay. - For sure.
Like she loves a good cry.
- Yeah, because that's all of those things were correct.
That's like an 8-point question.
Who is my best friend?
- Me.
- Beyond you. - Oh, Mindy.
Okay.
- Ouch.
- Well, you're not allowed to say you.
- Oh, are you not? - No.
- [Crew] Clearly, you're the best friend.
- [Megan] Obviously, you're the best friend.
- Okay, good.
'Cause I'm just going off of nights of you
just looking at me repeatedly saying,
"You're my best friend."
It's obviously hard to...
- But you know. - I know.
- What was my character's name
in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"?
If you don't know that, I can't.
I can't help you in life if you don't know that.
[record scratching]
Who was I in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"?
- I got it. - She wears a yellow jacket.
- I got it. Yeah.
My favorite picture of you
is the one where you have the ankle weights on and...
- Can we not, 'cause then they're gonna show
a stupid picture. - I want them to.
And she's outside working out and she's like...
[Megan laughing]
And she's just working out.
She has like low top dunks on or something.
It's the cutest picture I've ever seen in my life.
And I send it to her often. She hates me for it.
- Buddha, you get zero.
April O'Neil.
- April! Oh.
- Okay. You definitely know this one.
I had a role in the show "New Girl".
What was my character's name?
- Reagan.
- Facts.
- You killed that role by the way.
Great job. - Thank you.
- I love you on that show.
So good.
- Buddha, that was very good. You did very well.
This is how many you got right.
It's a lot. Your turn.
- Okay, my love. What's my actual name?
- Colson Baker.
- What are my nicknames?
- MGK. Machine Gun Kelly. Kells.
- What are your nicknames for me?
- Oh, is that what that means?
Buddha.
Lamby.
You haven't gotten that for a long while,
but you gotta earn that one back.
Cookie. Blonde Angel Baby.
Am I missing any?
You have endless. There's so many.
Those are the main ones. Those are the most used.
- Okay. Yeah. Great. That was good.
- [Crew] You have a middle name, Colson?
- Uh-uh.
- Can I guess what your middle name will be?
- Yeah, guess what my middle name will be
when I legally change it. - Blade.
- That's what I want.
- Sword. Katana.
- No, Blade. Blade is good. - Chaos.
- Blade is what I- - Hectic. Violence.
- Yeah, I like Blade- - Rebel.
- Neville? Like Longbottom?
- No, but do you remember what house he was in?
- Yeah. Gryffindor.
- Was he?
- What's my shoe size?
- Okay, so you used to think it was a 13
and then you thought it was a 12,
but we've settled on an 11,
but I actually think that's impossible
because you are 20 feet tall.
Show the people your feet.
It's most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.
His shoes weigh 15 pounds.
- We don't know my shoe size.
Yeah. How many tattoos do I have?
- It's literally impossible
to calculate. - Don't...
Well, you know what?
It was impossible to calculate a Shakespeare quote.
- You've tattooed on top of your tattoos
on top of your tattoos.
So I couldn't say.
- How many tattoos have I gotten since I've known you?
What's my favorite tattoo?
- The one I did on you, I tattooed you.
The one on your hip with my initials
and then "The other one."
Probably that one, right?
- Yeah. That one hurts my heart.
How do I like my coffee?
- Mostly black and bitter,
but I've convinced you to take it with oat milk
and a little bit of sugar
to sweeten you up in the morning.
- You say that every time you offer me sugar.
You go, "Don't you just want a little bit of sugar
to sweeten you up." - Yeah. It's like Ayurvedic.
You need a little bit of a sweet flavor in your body,
instead of putting the bitter in.
You're already there. We don't need any more of that.
[crew laughing]
- What's my favorite comic series or comic book?
What's my favorite comic book character?
- Of all time?
- You know this.
- Lucifer?
- 100% - Yeah.
- Followed by Sandman.
- [Megan] Because he is you and you are him.
- What's my favorite comic series?
- "Ice Cream Man".
I remember it's called. - I love that one.
What was my first ever job?
- I don't know how we wanna characterize your first job.
Weren't you like selling your own CDs?
- Well, that makes it sound like I was a prostitute
or something like that. - No, no.
No, but you were like selling your own CDs and stuff
when you were like 13.
- What was my first like job
that I had that at W-4? - The AirBrush Shop.
- No.
- There was something before that?
- Mm-hmm. I worked at a grocery store.
- Oh, you did tell me that,
but I didn't know in the timeline
if that fell before or after the airbrushing.
- I was 14. I worked at Dave's Supermarket.
Oh, God.
What's our favorite show to watch together?
- No.
- You're gonna butcher this answer.
- Don't previse it. - What you think...
- Oh, it's what I know.
- [chuckles] It's what you think.
- Oh, it's what I know. - It is what you think.
- Okay. I'll just name a few of them.
- [Colson] Okay.
- "Big Little Lies". - Cap.
The second show is "Nine Perfect Strangers".
- Uber cap.
- You can't wait to see how that unfolds.
- Major cap.
- And then you also loved the thread line is Nicole Kidman
because you also love "The Undoing" and that show is fire.
And I dare you to tell me that it wasn't.
You could not wait to watch that show.
You could not wait. You could not wait.
But he always comes home
acting like he doesn't wanna see it,
like I make him watch it.
But if I'm like, "Okay, [beep], let's not watch it.
Let's do something else."
Then he like finds ways to circle back
and make sure that I end up putting it on,
'cause he can't stand to not know what's happening.
- Someone give me their hat.
Someone give me their hats so I could show this cap.
I can't believe that you don't recognize
I'm only being a supportive TV,
and knowing that you like watching the shows.
And I'm like, "Let's watch what you like."
- So, what is the right answer?
Like you watch "South Park" and stuff like that
but that's not what you wanna watch
when you come home after work with me.
Let's be real. Be honest.
And then we like to talk about
what the characters are doing and why.
Yes, we do.
- I'm done. - Yes, we do.
- I'm done! - And why.
We get into their psychological motivations.
- I'm super done now.
What do I never leave the house without?
- Something to smoke.
Usually a lighter,
although you lose those and steal everyone else's.
Way too much cash, totally unnecessary.
Backpack.
You have to take that with you everywhere you go or hide it,
even when it's in our own home
when no one could ever get in.
- Now, you're nailing it.
This is all...
This is hilarious,
because I just know where you're gonna go with this.
What does my perfect day off look like?
- I mean, there is no day off is the point.
- She thinks that I work all the time.
- When's the last time you had a day off?
- We went to Bora Bora in January.
- Almost a year ago.
- If I did have a day off, what would it look like?
What did we do in Bora Bora that day?
How long did we walk on that gravel road?
- An eternity, because we ate mushrooms.
Those mushrooms were very strong.
So your day off would be us wondering around on mushrooms?
- Yes.
And then what did we see at night
as soon as we go down- - UFO. For real.
- I know. I was there.
How many albums do I have?
- Five.
Working on the sixth. About to be released.
- What's the name of the sixth album?
- "Born with Horns".
- Is it good?
- It's very good.
- If I was an animal, what animal would I be?
Hold on! - No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
- Yes. Yes. - No, no, no, no.
- No. I got trick into reading that question.
- Yes. And do you remember? - Check this out.
- Do you remember - Check this out.
- How you wanted them to show a photo of me
as April O'Neil on the trampoline?
Let's cut to this photo.
We're gonna do a split screen. - Hold on. Wait, wait, wait.
- You're gonna do a split screen.
- No, no. Check me out. Check me out.
- Get ready.
You can literally Google any Machine Gun Kelly photo,
and then if you also Google any meerkat photo
and you split screen those.
- [Colson] Oh, I hate you.
- You cannot tell the difference. Do that right now.
No one's ever looked more like an animal.
- What animal does my personality remind you of?
- Sometimes like a bunny rabbit
because you're sensitive,
and like also frightened, and like fragile.
And then other times, like...
- Dragon.
- You say dragon, but it's mythological.
But I feel like that's not who comes out in the streets.
That's not a dragon,
'cause dragons are very like regal
and would be in control, like their wise.
What's that person that comes out?
Something like the Hulk. Yeah.
- Yeah, the Hulk. Yeah.
- What's my sun sign?
- Your sun is Taurus.
Your moon is Pisces.
Your rising is Gemini.
You have a stellium of planets in Pisces.
Your sun is in the 12th house,
which is the house that's ruled by Neptune,
which is the ruler of Pisces.
You're very Piscean and you're very Gemini.
Very morose and the moods are very intense,
but I know the whole chart.
- Okay, well, obviously you win this game,
but we're gonna finish this out just for the people.
What's my favorite place to visit?
- Travis' Studio.
You've never been on a vacation.
Your first vacation was with me.
- What's my favorite show I've ever played?
- I don't know. I bet Red Rocks is one of them.
- For sure.
- One of your favorite venues. - For sure.
- But I don't know, like specific shows.
There's been thousands.
- Yeah, I mean, obviously Cleveland hometown stuff
is a go-to for me.
But yeah, I mean the Red Rocks.
The last time I did Red Rocks it was Juice WRLD opening
and us closing, and I felt when I went on stage
I could feel my aunt's energy come down
and she was with me on that show.
She's dream is she could see me play there
but she passed before she could.
So that was cool, like, feeling her there that night.
And that's our last question?
- Did I [beep] any up?
I feel like I got them all.
- I wouldn't give yourself...
- I feel like I got 99%.
- Yeah, you got 99. - Is it a tie?
- Yeah, I feel like I got 99 as well.
- How many points did I get?
- Baby, you get this many points.
- I gave you so many bonus points.
- I gave you a lot of bonus points as well.
- Did you? - Yeah, I did.
- I appreciate you. Thank you. - Yeah, you are killing it.
- Well, that was it, everyone.
Clearly, he's completely exhausted from the experience.
Thank you for watching. I hope you had fun.
- Me too.
- Do you wanna tell the people what the doctor said?
- Look.
The doctor said
every day,
Megan has to-
[Megan gibbering]