- When I am really interested in something,
you will have my complete, undivided attention and focus.
So I think that there's a lot of frameworks
in which you can talk about mental health
that are not just negative.
Hi, my name is Maranda,
and I have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder,
also known as ADHD.
ADHD has three types that show up differently
in different people.
The first is inattentive,
which can look really different
for lots of different people,
but can be things like having trouble focusing
on different tasks, being seen spacing out a lot,
misplacing things, but usually at a lower energy level
than folks that have hyperactivity symptoms.
The second type is hyperactive,
which predominantly have traits of high energy.
Someone fidgeting a lot at work
or having trouble sitting still.
And then the third type is combined,
which mixes sort of a little bit of the two.
And that's actually the one that a vast majority
of people have and that I have as well.
I do think there's like a stereotype around ADHD
that folks are super messy.
For me, that wasn't always something I struggled with a ton,
but I was constantly like misplacing things
around the house.
I definitely fidget a lot,
but those micro movements really help ADHD brains focus
'cause it helps like offload some of the excess energy
that we have.
So for me,
that can look like using a bouncy ball at work
or like knitting while I'm trying to focus
on something stationary.
And it just helps my brain sort of like zoom in
on what's happening in front of me.
As a kid, I had a lot of ADHD symptoms,
but like a lot of girls,
I tended to internalize my symptoms
instead of externalizing them.
So even if I had a lot of hyperactivity,
so wanting to fidget a lot or get out of my seat,
I felt a lot of social pressure to really hold that
in and not act out.
Girls are three times less likely
to get diagnosed with ADHD.
And on average, are diagnosed five years later than boys.
So this is a very common thing
of girls really experiencing symptoms,
but showing them in a way that's a lot more subtle
and that teachers and parents are really just not
often going to pick up on
because of the archetype of an ADHD kid,
which is predominantly a boy being really disruptive
in class.
So one thing that's really important to know about ADHD
sort of chemically, is that ADHD brains lack dopamine.
Dopamine is the reward chemical in the brain.
And it's often triggered by really small things
throughout the day for a neuro-typical person.
So things like cleaning or completing a task on a to-do list
release that reward chemical,
but for people with ADHD
because we lack sort of a base level of dopamine,
those things just don't feel rewarding.
So we seek things that are higher and higher reward,
which often mean things that are exciting,
things that are new, things that are like really
in line with our personal interests.
And so I definitely saw that as a through-line growing up.
I was really drawn to things that were intense.
I loved sports,
and so I was a competitive swimmer.
I did mountain biking.
I just kind of tried everything.
And then I also did a lot of performing arts.
I did theater, singing, debate,
basically thing where I could have like the adrenaline rush
of being on a stage and sort of be under that pressure
because it made me feel like I was getting
that reward that I really was craving.
So I had seen a therapist on and off since college
for anxiety that I was experiencing,
and the topic of school came up,
and I described some of the challenges I'd had,
and sort of off hand, she was just like, huh,
that kind of sounds like ADHD.
So from there, I actually saw an ADHD specific therapist
and she put me on Vyvanse, which is a stimulant medication.
It's very similar to Adderall,
which is the one that most people have heard of.
I felt like my thoughts were quieter,
like I could focus on things for longer,
like time passed a lot quicker.
I remember the first time I swam in the ocean
after I started meds.
It's my favorite thing.
I'm usually in the ocean for like maybe 12 minutes,
but the first time I was on meds, I swam for like two hours.
And I came out and was like shocked it had been two hours,
'cause I had actually had the experience
of getting lost in something, which is not what I'm used to.
Another component of ADHD is something called hyperfocus,
which basically is the phenomena
of when you're doing something you really enjoy,
you can get like super sucked into it,
and really lose track of time
or just feel like everything kind of falls away.
Like if I'm writing something, for example,
that I'm really into, I can like do it all in one go.
Also I make earrings on the side.
I can hyper-focus on really trying
to like perfect a design.
Something like that.
There are many things I enjoy that I don't hyper focus on,
like swimming, playing games.
Hyper-focus for me, usually,
is like when I'm creating something,
because it's something that's really actively engaging
for my brain, and it feels really good,
so I want to just keep doing it.
I work in the advocacy field around reproductive justice
and abortion access.
And I think I was really drawn to that field
because it's so engaging and like high stakes,
but I'm an organizer.
So I'm constantly like talking to new people
and building relationships.
So that part, I feel like I really thrive in 'cause of ADHD.
There's also a fair amount of computer admin work,
which can be really hard with ADHD.
So things like keeping on top of like my check-ins
with the people I work with or filling out spreadsheets,
it can be really challenging.
And I think, feel like 10 times harder
than the other stuff I do,
which I think is harder to a lot of people.
One other thing that's helped me during work,
is I'm in so many zoom meetings,
and being able to focus on making earrings
while I'm doing those meetings has been really helpful
to let me like engage part of my brain,
but also be like actually listening
and retaining information a lot better.
My partner and I have been together almost three years,
and we live together.
And I think some of the things I still struggle with
are especially around attention in my relationship,
especially if I'm like absorbed in something,
and my partner is talking to me.
It takes me a second to clue into what she's saying
or really enjoy some of the more low key activities
that she likes,
like watching movies or just having a slow Sunday,
like that's very much not me.
So it's been definitely some work
to sort of like match those together.
One thing that's definitely helped
was really like adopting some strategies
to make communication work a little smoother.
For example, now if my partner really wants my focus,
she'll be like, hey,
can I like have your attention to like talk about something?
And that just signals for me, like okay, time to focus in.
Before I was even diagnosed with ADHD,
I was definitely helping manage the symptoms with exercise.
I lift weights, I box,
and very much from like a young age,
felt like I had to exercise several times a week
to like mitigate my energy levels.
And then in terms of things that helped me stay organized,
I use a bullet journal.
I use Google calendar for like everything related to work,
and then try to like structure my day
in an ADHD friendly way,
just to sort of like mitigate sitting still
for a really long period of time.
So one thing that my partner has been very helpful with
is the concept of everything has a home in my house.
In my one bedroom apartment that we share,
I know where everything goes, like my keys go on this hook,
my bag goes over here.
I used to leave cups all over the house.
Now I use just a water bottle.
So to sort of like implementing structure
and rules around my space has really helped
feel more calm and organized.
So I think often, mental health diagnoses are really thought
of in a negative light.
And I think that's really not been my experience
and something I really want to make sure is heard.
Like for example, I have a lot of energy,
but I think there's a lot of really great things about that.
Like I'm a really good organizer at work
because I can be on my feet talking to people
for 15 hours a day.
I can really enjoy exercise or performing,
or things like that.
And also when I am really interested in something,
like you will have my complete, undivided attention
and focus like more, I think,
even than a neuro-typical person.
And also just ADHD makes you fun.
Like I like doing exciting things.
Like in the pandemic, we got into surfing.
We built a camper van by ourselves.
So I think that there's a lot of frameworks
in which you can talk about mental health
that are not just negative.
I think since being diagnosed and starting medication
and learning tools to actually intentionally handle
the different issues I was having,
I just have so much more brain space that I'm able to use
for the things I actually really love and care about,
and I just feel like it's opened up so much more
potential in me.
I think back to everything I was able to do
before I was diagnosed,
but how much I was struggling.
And I just think now I have like the whole rest of my life
to just do so much more and feel so much better.
(upbeat music)