The other day a friend asked me "How can I help my friend who's struggling with
grief?" So in this video I'm gonna share four resources that you can use to help
someone you care about who's grieving. So my friend tells me about her friend whose
son passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack two years ago at the age of
22 and she's been weighed down and struggling ever since. She went to a
couple of counselling sessions but then her insurance only covered four sessions
at the time so now my friend wants to know how to help her friend move forward
with her grief so here's what I told her: So number one there's a great YouTube
and Facebook channel called "Refuge in Grief" and this therapist is making some
excellent short videos and infographics teaching people how to support others
who are grieving. I shared one of her videos recently and I'll link to it
again below but the basic idea is don't be afraid to talk about the subject. Many
people fear bringing it up because they don't want to make the other person sad
or they don't know what to say but the reality is just attempting to show that
you care and that you're thinking about them sends a good message so it's okay
to say things like "I don't know what to say but I care" or "how are you doing?" or
to bring up positive memories of their loved one. Also be careful to avoid trying
to make them feel better or saying anything that starts with "at least" as in
at least he's in a better place or at least you can have other children so
I'll include some links to more information on what you might say that
could be helpful refuge in grief also has this 30-day course called writing
your grief that could help you work through your grief it's a hundred and
sixty-five dollars and I'm not getting anything to share this or anything I
just like to connect people to resources. Okay on to number two,
so speaking of resources encourage them to reach out to resources
so to this friend I recommended a couple of local therapists who specialize in
grief work. Taking the time to speak through your grief can help make those
feelings concrete, and help you find a way to move through these feelings so
encouraging her friend to talk about her experience with her family and her
friends and taking time to share and process through those thoughts and
emotions with others can be a really crucial part of the healing process.
Number three: here's another great resource so I recently read a great book
called "no time for tears" and I don't have it to show you because I gave it
away but I loved it because it normalized the grieving process it's
written by a mother whose baby died and she discusses all the things that are
normal part of the process of grieving like insomnia loss of appetite guilt
loss of pleasure and it talks you through some of the ways that you can
move forward through that grief instead of endlessly spiraling in
despair it also discusses what it looks like when grief becomes disordered and
how to know when you need treatment for that ok so number 4 grief and loss
groups so these groups can be immensely helpful they help people connect with
others who've had similar experiences and they find strengthen them it helps
normalize the grief process and these groups often include an educational
segment teaching appropriate and healthy ways to work through grief and positive
ways to honor and remember the dead these groups are often facilitated at
hospitals sometimes they're by religious groups or counseling centers and you may
have to do a little research to find one near you one of the best things about
this resource is that most of the time these grief groups are free or low-cost
especially compared to the cost of individual therapy now you may have
noticed that I never used the term get over grief because I don't think that's
a really helpful way to talk about the grief process of course we don't want to
be stuck drowning and pain and suffering but the missing, the loving, the longing
never go away but through a healthy process the painful emotions can be
integrated into loving peaceful remembrance instead of an obstacle to
one's life. I hope these tips and resources are helpful for you if you're
trying to help someone you care about who's struggling with grief. So comment
below what do you think is the most difficult part of helping someone who's
going through grief? My mission is to help people get easy access to mental
health resources because there's a lot of them out there I hope you like this
video thanks for watching and take care