You've got some great goals and now you're maybe wondering how to hold yourself accountable
for those goals.
You're going to know that in just a few minutes.
Before we get into the accountability part, let's put a framework around this that will
conceptualize what we're talking about in the first place.
I've got 3 strategies for you about how to hold yourself accountable for your goals.
First of all, let's start with what kinds of goals we're setting.
Notice that some of the goals that come up in mind feel like kind of a-have-to.
I really need to do this.
I have to get this done, I need to, have to, must, should.
How does that feel?
That's not very fun.
To achieve this goals, having a strong "why" is something that truly going to drive it.
So, the first tip that I have for you is set "choose to" rather than "have to" goals.
A choose-to goal carries with the strong why.
Why are you going to do this thing in the first place?
Now, granted, there's a lot of things you're going to feel like you have to do or that
you must done or the you should do.
What if you could take one of those?
And translate it in your own mind to a choose-to.
Here's on e way that you can think about this.
What would happen if you didn't?
Do you see how a lot of things come to mind that would be unpleasant or unwanted if you
didn't actually accomplish this goal?
So, a quick shift over to choose-to could be that you're just get really clear about
the why.
So that you have a strong reason for fulfilling this goal on the first place.
Something that will really help with this is if you can visualize that desired outcome.
So, if you're telling yourself for example, "I really need to clean my office.
I really need to clean that closet.
I really need to clean my house."
Alright, that feels like a chore or a burden.
Visualize the desired outcome.
Do you picture yourself sitting in that space that you're going to be cleaning?
Or seeing it in an nice, clean, orderly arrangement.
Picture how that would feel and attach the emotion to it.
Emotions and feelings are what drive an idea to the subconscious mind where it can actually
start to change our behavior.
Attach the feelings to it, get clear about the picture of what it is that you want to
accomplish.
Now, let's look at the motivation.
As I move now to tip number 2, we have to understand the pleasure and pain dynamic.
Here's what I mean by that.
If you look at this grid and think about human motivation.
There are 2 primary human motivators.
There is pleasure and pain.
Now, of the 2 primary human motivators which one do you think is the most powerful in getting
you to change your behavior?
Yeah, it's pain.
I know I'm the Positivity Guy.
I wanted to think that it was pleasure.
That we do things to bring good results to our life.
And we do.
But the more powerful of these 2 motivators is pain.
That's important to remember.
Keep that in mind.
Now, on this side of the graph, you are either going to change or not change.
I can't think of any other options, can you?
When it comes to your goals, you are looking to change something.
That's why we're calling it a goal in the first place.
So, that's this top row.
The bottom row is where you don't change.
Now, notice that whether you change or don't change, you will have pleasure and pain either
way.
So, think about the particular goal that you've set.
Let's take the cleaning the closet, just for lack of a better example.
What is the pleasure that would come into you mind if you made that change, if you clean
the closet?
Well these are all the great reasons why you want to do it in the first place.
That you would have an organized, peace invoking, beautiful space.
Can you see that that's in the pleasure box of changing?
Well, would you have some pain in making that change?
Of course you would.
These are all the reasons you're not doing it already.
It's hard, it takes effort, it's seems so overwhelming, whatever they are.
This is the pain that comes into your life if you actually take some action.
It takes effort.
What about this box down here?
What is the pleasure that you get for not changing?
Well you get to keep avoiding it.
It's easy.
What about the pain of not changing?
You have to keep living with this mess and this clutter.
So, that was just a quick example.
You can take any goal that you're setting.
And you can plug it in to the pleasure and pain dynamic.
Now, here's the tricky part.
And this sets us up for step number 3.
We have to understand this first.
When does the pleasure and the pain arrive?
When do you get to experience it?
Let's look at each of these boxes and take a look.
When do you get to have the pleasure of making your change?
Later.
You can get some immediately because you feel like, "Oh, finally, I'm doing something."
But most of the pleasure comes later on.
It's after you've actually made the change.
It's after you've accomplished the goal.
When do you get to have the pain of change?
Oh, it's now.
It's right upfront.
You get to have that immediately.
When do you get to have the pleasure of not changing?
Oh, that's now.
You get to enjoy the indulgence in the avoidance right now.
When do you get to have the pain of not changing?
And I mean the bulk of it.
The bulk of the pain of not changing comes later.
It's not now.
You know what?
I had a guy in my office who wanted to stop smoking.
He knew that it was going to kill him.
He had seen the videos in health class back in High school, you know, the black lungs
and all of the warnings that come on the Surgeon generals warning.
He knew but not today.
It's not going to kill me today.
That's going to happen down the road.
Do you see how the bulk of the pain of not changing comes later.
So, going back to holding ourselves accountable for our goals, we understand that the pleasure
and pain gets in our way.
Pain is the most powerful of these 2 motivators.
That means as long as the pain of change looks greater than the pain of not changing, you
won't change.
Let me say that again.
As long as the pain of change looks greater to you than the pain of not changing, you
won't change.
This is a psychological hurdle that we have to overcome in order to hold our self accountable
for our goals.
Well, where's the real pain?
In the smoking example, death, emphysema, lung cancer.
Okay, that's pretty significant.
But it's not happening right now.
Similarly, the pleasure of changing is typically the most important stuff to you and that's
why you set the goal in the first place.
So, we have to overcome this psychological hurdle to really hold ourselves accountable
for the pain and that leads me to tip number 3.
Give yourself intermediate rewards, that's the pleasure of change.
And punishments or penalties, that's the pain of not changing.
You want to move those up.
So, instead of waiting for all the long term effects, you move them up to now.
Here's an example of what I mean.
Let's say that you've given yourself a goal to clean your closet.
Cleaning the closet is hard, right?
That's the pain of making the change.
We're going to give ourselves some pleasure of making that change by giving an intermediate
reward.
Example, you take one bucks and deal with that.
You take one section of your closet.
We are not taking on the whole thing.
You get yourself to do that, some chewable chunk and the you give yourself a reward for
doing that.
Pat yourself on the back.
Bring some of the pleasure of change to the now instead of later.
What are we going to do on the pain side?
You give yourself a deadline.
Tell yourself, "I will clean one box or one section of my closet by Saturday at 10 o'clock."
Okay.
Now, let's say that Saturday at 10 o'clock comes around and you haven't done it?
We're going to move the pain of not changing up to the present and give yourself an intermediate
consequence.
Here's and example, pay your least favorite charity 25 bucks.
If you haven't kept you commitment by Saturday at 10 o'clock.
Pick the opposing political party for example.
And send them 25 bucks as an intermediate penalty or pain for not changing.
This is a psychological trick that helps you to keep yourself accountable for your goals.
Another quick idea, get an accountability partner.
Talk to someone.
Tell them about your goal.
That's another way of removing this up to the now, so that you get a little more immediate
feedback.
These are tips that I think might help as you hold yourself accountable.
Hey, if you want an accountability partner, happy to jump in the loop there.
Leave some comments down below and we'll engage.