On this episode of China Uncensored, Top 5 Hilariously Bad Chinese Theme Parks
Hi, welcome to China Uncensored, I'm your host Chris Chappell.
Winter's icy grip is almost at our throats, which is why I'm already planning my summer
vacation to the happiest place on earth: China.
But, gosh darn it, I'm having a hard time deciding between these five fun-filled theme
parks!
Won't you help me decide?
Number 5 Party at the Communist Party Theme Park!
You know nothing spells a good time quite like learning core Socialist values, and what
socialism with Chinese characteristics looks like!
And it looks like this.
park- Aren't' they cute?
I mean, more so than the actual Red Guards.
This one just opened in Wuhan at the end of September.
Visitors get the "red benefit," as state-run Xinhua calls, it by learning about 29 "excellent
party figures."
I mean, I know the only reason people go to Disney World is for the Hall of Presidents,
so why not have a park that does away with all those superfluous rides, and focuses just
on historical figures?!
Just you know, with bronze plaques and no animatronics.
There's even a square where students and youths can swear their allegiance to the Party.
It's way better than that other square students used to visit.
And who would want to miss the tribute to the 2008 Beijing Olympics?
But who's the gold medal winner?!
Why you are of course.
Number 4 No Monkeying Around at this Guerrilla Warfare
Theme Park
You know I've always felt I was born into the wrong times.
Haven't you ever wished you could run around in the filth and mud of the trenches of World
War 2?
I mean the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression?
Well now you can!
But hold on Chris, do I get to shoot at the Japanese devils?
Of course you do!
And then you can enjoy one of the thrilling performances of people waving red flags.
Historically speaking I don't believe that was the preferred strategy for trench warfare,
though.
Number 3 World of Intellectual Property Violations
Land
Technically, it's called "World of Joyland" But is it a world?
Or is it a land?
Scientists may never know the answer, but there's one thing I'm pretty sure of: It looks
suspiciously like World of Warcraft.
You can go on the Splash of Monster Blood log ride, or head over to the Universe of
Starship, not at all to be confused with derivative Western properties like Starcraft.
And these ride descriptions really do have something you can't get anywhere else.
I just hope "Journey of Dangers" doesn't describe the safety standards.
Number 2 The Lyin' King
I had to spell that one out.
Ah, here we go!
The happiest place on…
Wait a minute, something doesn't look right here.
Hey, this isn't a Chinese Disneyland…this is a…Chinese Disneyland!
It's called the Beijing Shijingshan Amusement Park.
They even have a fake Epcot Center, and more world of Warcraft stuff.
Now please don't confuse this with Wonderland, the other Disneyland knock off that was eventually
closed down.
This is a whole new world, with unbelievable sites, like this Wild West exhibit, or crushed
characters.
And you know it's high quality because their official slogan is "Disney is too far to go,
please come to Shijingshan!"
And finally, Number 1!
Let's just saying you'll be dying to go to this one.
Oh gosh no, not like that!
Like this.
Haven't you always wondered what it would be like to be cremated?
Well now you can find out and live to tell the tale!
This is 'the Cremator' at the Window to the World amusement park.
And what could be more amusing than crawling into a fake coffin, that takes you down a
conveyor belt, into a room that blasts you with hot air and light, simulating flames?
Of course, if pretending you're dying isn't your idea of a good time, you can always check
out the park's 130 models of world famous landmarks, like the Eiffel Tower and Coliseum,
the Louvre and Statue of David, and Mt.
Rushmore, the Capitol, and the Washington Monument.
So which theme park do you think I should visit on my next summer vacation to China?
Tell me in the comment section below.
And as always, hit those like and subscribe buttons.
Once again I'm Chris Chappell, see you next time.