Hi.
Hi stranger.
Hi.
So your son Henry is backstage.
He is.
He is adorable.
He's adorable.
I mean--
He's a lovely human being.
So you got in--
I don't know, it wasn't trouble.
But it really got a lot of pickup.
When you were here, you talked about a manscaping--
Oh Jesus.
A situation that went wrong.
I don't know that it went wrong.
But it was a choice that I didn't
know I was making while I was making it.
Right, one side was shorter than the other.
And it ended up being, as you called--
A landing strip.
A landing strip, right.
Yeah.
So--
A landing strip gate.
All right, exactly.
Landing strip gate.
So, but that got a lot of pick-up.
Yeah.
But it was for a good cause.
You got money for charity.
I wouldn't have been talking about my pubic region
if it wasn't for--
Yes.
The money that you so generously--
Yeah.
Then gave to--
Right, no need to say the word pubic.
But um--
Well, we cant' take it back now.
An now you--
Although you can edit it out, of course.
You've made me say it now.
So--
Exactly.
Yes.
Double the trouble.
No, it was for a good cause.
And you were very generous in the $10,000
that you gave to CHIME Institute.
All right, we have been texting a little bit back and forth.
And when I was talking to you, you were in London.
You were shooting a movie.
Dumbo.
Yeah.
Which, great cast, too.
Yeah, great cast, Danny Devito, Eva Green, Michael Keaton,
and a bunch of actors.
And both sons came to see you there.
James came to see me.
And Henry came to see me.
And they were both--
I thought they'd, you know, when I told Henry
that I was doing Dumbo, I thought
that it would get me some brownie points.
And he went, mm, ah, Dumbo.
Him He did this.
Ssss, mm.
So I think I missed the cool window by about two years.
Oh, no.
Because he's all of eight now, of course.
So--
Right.
I don't think Dumbo was cool enough for him.
But both boys came and both boys were swiftly
really bored by what they saw.
Yeah.
Yeah, because there was no animals in the film.
You're following a tennis ball around.
And they're going to create the elephant after the fact.
So they just came to the set.
And they thought the sets were beautiful.
James had to look around for a second.
He was looking for animals.
He saw there was no animals.
He was, eh, OK, gone.
Yeah.
And then Henry came to the set.
And he was watching the monitor.
And I went up to him and I asked him,
do you want to to to the craft service
and get a drink or a snack or something.
And he went, anywhere but here.
Wow.
So they're not going to end up in this business, for sure.
I hope not.
Yeah.
But that's good though.
You probably don't want him to be in this business.
I don't-- they-- both my boys can do whatever they wish to do
and wherever the path of life takes them, really.
As long as they're--
That's the right answer as a father.
Yeah, as long as they're-- honestly,
as long as they're happy and they're discovering life
and they're ideally surrounded by decent people,
which we can't always control but, you know,
just good in themselves.
Yeah.
Well, you're a good dad.
I don't know about that dad.
You're a real good dad.
You are.
I'm away for a long time, you know, it's--
I know.
Yeah, like five months, five months on the road.
It's-- I'm going to say my life is tough or anything like that.
Don't worry.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself.
But you know--
No, that's a long time, five month.
Yeah, five months away from my kids.
And then both moms, who are incredible mothers, you know,
it's a good bit.
And it's a lot for my boys.
And I miss them both so much.
So, you know, they come and visit and stuff.
But it's not-- thank God for Face Time.
I was going to say, Face Time helps with the kids.
But what about dating?
Because if you're gone that long,
it's really hard to have a relationship.
It's hard to have anything solid in your life
or with any kind of consistency.
But my girlfriend, she travels a lot as well with work.
So oftentimes we're two ships passing in the night.
But we make sure to find a port that we can rendezvous at.
Dock.
I did-- I didn't know if you were going to continue.
For meaningful conversations.
Or you were gonna--
Yeah, yeah, no.
It's--
You were gonna--
No, it is, it's tough.
It's tough.
But we make time.
Pull your boat into the dock.
I didn't know you were gonna--
I didn't--
Don't starting getting all pubic on me now.
Don't start getting all pubic on me.
So is she--
Can't bring her anywhere, not even her own studio apparently.
Is she in the business?
No.
No, she's not.
No.
She is not.
But she travels?
She travels a lot in her work.
And she works very hard.
And, but, yeah, it's been quite a while now so we--
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad that you're happy.
I am, yeah, no, I adore her.
So you were telling me--
because there's a movie called The Lobster
that you did a while back.
Yeah.
And I love this movie so much.
And I made my brother watch it.
Because he had never seen.
And I was like, oh my God, you've got-- it's the--
I think it's so strange.
But it's so funny.
It's so hilarious.
And this movie, you told me you were doing another movie
with the guy that directed it.
This is not like The Lobster.
This is--
Did you see it?
Yes, I did.
Are you OK?
It's-- yeah, it is stranger tha--
The Lobster is strange.
Yeah, strange sweet. the lobster has a sweetness to it.
Yeah.
This--
That's really--
This is dark strange.
This is really dark.
Yeah.
I don't even know how to--
It's hard to come onto a show like this and sell it really.
It's--
Everyone should go and see it.
It's bleak, strange, dark, and depressing.
Yeah, yeah.
In that order.
It's not the feel good movie of-- you know, where--
No, it's not.
But I don't want to--
I do want to encourage it.
Because I love--
Matinee tickets are cheaper.
Creative.
I love-- and the title is misleading.
There's no killing of a deer or anything in it.
No.
But it's--
Worse.
How do you-- yes, exactly.
Worse.
So how do you explain what this movie is?
Please.
You just--
Tell, no--
Play back exactly what you said, and we're
off to the races, number one at the box office, for sure.
Hi.
I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos,
like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,
like ball peen hammer and also some videos of Ellen
and other celebrities if you're into that sort of thing.
Ah.
Oh.
God [BLEEP] .
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