for anyone with a tendency to blush
the idea that there might be something
positive about going
uncontrollably red in front of other
people can sound
absurd but however uncomfortable it may
be
to blush doing so indicates a range of
admirable character traits that we
should honor
in ourselves and welcome in other people
far from a disability blushing is a sign
of virtue it is strong evidence that one
is
almost certainly rather a nice person
we tend to blush first and foremost from
a fear
that something about us might bother or
prove
unacceptable to other people we blush
after we've told a joke in company
and worry that it might have come across
as inappropriate or offensive
we blush when we abruptly realize that
we may have arrived at someone's house
half an hour too early for dinner
even if they are doing their kindly best
to disguise the fact
we blush when we're concerned that
something we said sounded
boastful we blush because we told a
little untruth
feel ashamed and fear that others will
immediately see through us
in other words blushing is powered by an
unusually strong
ethical sense it's generated by a terror
of making other people uncomfortable a
horror of inconveniencing them
a distaste for seeming arrogant or
entitled
and an overwhelming qualm about saying
anything
untrue
these may be hugely inconvenient
feelings to experience
but they are very nice ones to harbor
because they almost guarantee that one
won't in fact
turn into the unpleasant person one is
so acutely sensitive
to the dangers of being blushing is a
guarantee
of a fundamental unbudgeable involuntary
honesty a reminder to ourselves and to
the world
that something deep within us is
offended by and won't
tolerate fraudulence or arrogance
not coincidentally we may fall
particularly prey to blushing
at the start of relationships as we sit
in someone's living room late at night
wondering whether they might want to
kiss us or
we them we may feel our faces redden
deeply
this too is a high ethical achievement
born out of a kindly
and sometimes rightful sense that we may
be
unwelcome the blushing seducer is
profoundly aware
of the dangers of being a nuisance
someone with no capacity to blush is for
this reason
a scary possibility for they must
implicitly operate
with a dismaying attitude of entitlement
they can be so composed
and so sure only because they haven't
taken on board
the crucial possibility of their
unenchanting nature
excessive self-doubt can of course
blight
our lives but blushing seems on the edge
of something
properly worth celebrating a high degree
of self-knowledge
and an awareness just how disturbing we
can
sometimes be to others
our book on confidence walks us around
the key issues that
stop us from making more of our
potential