-Welcome back to "Late Night." We're here with Drew Barrymore.
Now, I also -- Before we move on,
I want to say congratulations.
Six Daytime Emmy nominations.
-Thank you. -That's fantastic.
Well-deserved for your show.
Yeah, enjoy it!
-I feel like relief is
a huge definition of joy right now, too.
Like, just to be relieved.
Like, I'm so relieved that it's working, that we get to stay.
-You get to keep doing the show a third season.
-I'm way too attached to it.
All of my worth and happiness is in this show.
-Yeah. They say that's very healthy.
They say, "Tie yourself to your work.
Let that be the only thing that brings you
happiness and esteem," yeah.
-It's so true. I'm, like, way too invested.
And, you know, season to season, you don't know,
and so you're kind of going to that finish line
and you just are -- Like, you see precipice
and you get more and more increasingly depressed
at the idea of it not coming back.
And, you know, everyone's like, "How are you in your life?"
I wish I could just tell you I'm so miserable, distracted,
and screwed up,
because I just really want this to continue.
Like, we're building something here.
-And it is. It gets better. It's fantastic.
-So I'm so relieved.
-Well, we're very happy to share your relief with you.
-Thank you.
-And it's coming across as palpable relief.
I will tell you that, as well.
Hey, but you also find time to -- Is this --
You went crabbing.
-I -- Well...
-I feel like I've gone clamming, but I've never gone crabbing.
-And I want to clam. -Yeah. [ Gasps ]
Alright, so -- But this seems like a lot more gear involved
in crabbing, 'cause clamming is just like
a rake and a bucket.
-I really was trying to be Nancy Meyers.
Like, I wanted to picture myself in a Nancy Meyers movie.
I had three girls with me and two dogs, no leashes.
This is how it ended up. That's the chicken.
That's the bait.
Just a nice, raw piece of salmonella chicken hanging out.
That's the back of my minivan. -Great.
-And Olive went, at one point -- 'cause she's a very, like,
rough-and-tumble, like, cool girl,
and she just threw the whole bucket in at one point.
And I was like, "Olive! That doesn't have holes.
It's gonna --" And there it was just then floating down
the river, and I was like,
"We just littered, Olive!
God, no!"
And then this kayaker woman came by,
and she started screaming at me.
And then I was like, of course, I wanted to just, like,
light into her, but I had the three girls with me,
so I was like, "I can't do that."
-Did she know who you were?
-I don't care. -Yeah.
She was just -- She was out for blood.
Like, she woke up on the wrong side of the bed
and was like, "Ooh, I'm gonna take it out on you."
And I was like, "And I'm gonna keep it together."
And she was like, "It says, 'No parking'!
I couldn't get my board in!"
And I was like, "I am so sorry. I did not see the sign."
And literally two minutes later, she's still lighting into me.
And I'm like, "No, I heard you,
and I'm gonna get right on moving that car right now.
Little stuck, but right on it."
And then, another minute later, I'm like, "I'm on it!"
And, you know, I just realized, I'm not Nancy Meyers.
I'm "Jackass." -Yeah.
Have you ever --
-I've got the thing, and I'm so worried about her seeing
the bucket go down the river.
Oh, that would have given her more ammunition.
-All of a sudden, she's kayaking back, making another loop.
-Oh, she'd have called the authorities, I'm telling you.
-Has anybody ever been yelling at you,
and then they recognize you mid-yell?
I've had that happen, which is pretty fun.
-Oh, what was that like?
-I was running, and a car was coming out of a driveway.
And they looked one way, but not the other,
and so they cut right into me, like, where I was running.
And so I had to dodge the car.
And I'm not proud of this, okay? I'm not a hero in this story.
-I was gonna say, "What did you do in this?"
-And so I, like, slapped the hood of the car
and was like, "Watch where you're going!"
And the guy was like, "You watch where -- Hey!"
-Yeah! [ Laughs ]
Well, I'm glad to know that you react.
If those kids weren't around, I would have taken out
all my anger right back out on this woman,
'cause she was ready to go.
She had the gloves on.
She had the attitude. She was like a dog with a bone.
She wouldn't let it go.
-By the way, she should also be, you know,
cognizant of the fact that kids are around.
It's amazing when people still want to have a thing
where you're like, "Okay, I get it.
I did the wrong thing."
-I did. I was like, "I got it. I got the kids. I got the dogs."
-You should have blamed it on the kids and be like,
"They're the ones who parked the car."
-"Would you like a piece of raw chicken?
Maybe you can catch a crab."
-Well, you sent us this picture, as well.
-That's Lucy, my dog.
-Great. And is she, like,
on the lookout for crabs in this picture?
-She's on the lookout to make this
as hair ball as possible,
because, of course, I'm not there kind of
controlling the situation.
Like, I think I actually really --
The truth is, I just -- I am chaos.
Like, I want it to be cute and pretty, but it isn't.
It's messy.
And the kids are running around and the crabs
and the raw chicken and the dog --
-Did you catch any crab?
-Not a one. -Yeah.
Because let me tell you something.
You know why I thought you might not have caught any?
Because here are the three pictures you sent.
Like, this is like, "Hey, how was your crabbing trip?"
"Well, we had this and this and a dog."
You'd be like...
-So, we get in the car, and the kids all look at me,
the three girls, and I'm like,
"Gosh, you guys, that really sucked.
We got in trouble. We littered.
Like, we didn't catch a crab.
I think we have salmonella."
And my little one, Frankie, was like, "I think we get a 'C.'"
And then Olive's friend, Olympia, was like, "A 'C.'"
And I looked at Olive, and she goes, "D-minus."
And I was like, "Thank you, Olive.
One above failure. That's it?"
-I really like that Frankie gave it a "C."
I feel like that's really kind.
-She's much more optimistic. Olive's more of a realist.
-That's a very big heart to give you a "C" on that.
-Well, to come full circle, I didn't grow up around kids,
but my whole --
-Or crabs, I'm guessing,
based on how that went.
-No, I know. And I need a lesson in crabs.
So if anybody has some crab tips, I'm all ears.
-And, again, don't take it out of context.
-Yeah, exactly.
-I noticed a few scattered laughs there.
We've established what crabs we're talking about!
-Edible ones! -The ones in this picture.
Oh, wait. Oh, wait.
No, there's no actual photos of crabs.
-But now, literally, my days are spent with kids,
hanging out with them, having the best time ever,
failing at crabbing.
-That is really funny that you were a kid who
hung out with adults
and now you're an adult who hangs out with kids.
-Almost exclusively.
My whole life has actually flipped on its head.
And I am happy living in New York.
I was a kid who grew up in L.A.
So, yeah, I'm kind of on the "B" side of the record.
-Has it been nice?
And do the families -- Did you say "'B' side of the record"
and then gesture towards the band?
-Yes, I did.
-That is as depressing as making multiple jokes for stepfathers
and then begging them to respond.
-You know those old, delicious 45s.
I'm on the "B" side.
-And you're happy to be back in New York City?
We're certainly happy to have you.
-I love that my life and the chapters took me here.
Someone said like, "Oh, this could be your forever home."
And I was like, "I don't know what my life will ever be.
We will always be on a learned journey."
And then, every once in a while, you can stop
and be like, "Whoa!
Cool. This is where I'm at now."
-Well, we're so happy you're here.
We're so happy you're here tonight.
We're so happy you're feeling better.
And thank you so much --
-That voicemail. -That voicemail.
May you all be so lucky to receive a voicemail like that.
Drew Barrymore, everybody.
-I love you. -I love you, too.
"Drew Barrymore Show" airs weekdays,
so check your local listings.
We'll be right back with Chris Parnell.
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪