M: [singing] On the stage by myself-
M: Oh, hey neighbor, how's it going?
E: Hey, wassup?
M: Ayy!
E: You know, but you're on the stage by yourself, and I was like: "Oh, little lonely boy looking for some company!"
M: Yeah. See, I'm doing a two-man show..I was hoping that you could
*BANG BANG*
M: Join me on this one? E: Not only can *gun shooting sound effect* but I can also-
M: That's great. Wow. That was a cool move. Wait, let me try it. Let's see if I can do it right.
*typewriter sound effects*
E: Dude, I'm totally wiggin' out right now.
M: I know, right?
E: That's incredible!
M: Wow, I didn't even know I can do that! Let me try somethin' else!
*Heavenly music plays*
M: Ah!
W: Did somebody summon me?
M: No, that was next door. Get out of here.
W: Shit.
M: Now that we got that out of the way, let's go do this.
T: OK
*Gun cocking sound effect*
T: Flashlight
B: Flashlight
B: You weren't listening. Do you know the rules sir?
M: I don't even know my dance!
B: Are you ready?
M: No!
B: Okay, are you ready?
E: Sure!
B: Invisible Man in the sky, spin the wheel of dance!
E: Well what we have to do first is cut them open, but it's very important
E: How many times do I have to tell you we don't sell Raisinnets!
E: We don't sell Raisinets!!
M: Well look I'm running a budget operation here, I don't have Raisinets for you or the patient!
W: But I was promised Raisinnets
W: That's the only reason I showed up.
B: Yeah. Yeah, when I signed up for this-
W: You stay out of this!
M: You're not a part of this!
B: Wait a second! I'm important!
*Bob shoots at them*
*Bob shuts a window on them*
*Flips them all off in anger*
M: All right, honey.
M: Grab on, give them a spin!
M: All right honey put on your-
M: Gloves and get ready for a fun night!
M: All right, honey
M: Remember your colostomy bag and
M: Let's get to work!
M: All right, honey. I'm gonna back away slowly because I suddenly realized how weird this was
B: ♫ My whole life~ ♫
♫ I've been average at ♫
♫ Everything! ♫
♫ It's all I've wanted. It's all I've dreamed of- average dreams. Don't worry, average dreams ♫
♫ To lead a band! ♫
♫ To direct it! ♫
♫ To just lift it ♫
♫ To the middle not too high not too ♫
Low solidly average B's all around really... ♫ It's all I've ever dreamed of ♫
*Blows a kiss like he's the new World Wide Handsome*
E: 'Cuse me. I would like to make it very clear - that was an accident-
No need for a flag. M: It's okay, I think my nose is broken.
M: At some point you're gonna have to grow up and start cutting people open for their organs
E: Okay, fine. I'll do it now
B: Wait, what about the Raisinets? M: We don't have any!
M: Alright. Let me tell you when you see a horse sized duck - just give him one of these.
B: Why are you chopping those people in half?
*Kicks Ethan in the face*
B: Okay, okay. Break it up,the round is over. The round is over.
M: Knock knock knock knock knock knock. B: Are you serious, mom? M: Honey?
M: I just want to make sure you're all right in there.
M: You know I'm always there for you. B: I told you at the door - I can do this by myself now. M: Look-
You're only 16
B: No! Mom, I've got this under-
M: Honey!
B: Geez, why did you put all these windows in the bathroom?
M: Just want to make sure you're okay.
Alright, honey.
B: Oh, my god, mom!
M: Look, it's okay-
B: It's not okay! M: Hey-
You're my little baby
And I just want to be there for you.
Always.
B: Please don't
M: Alright, fair enough... We all have to grow up someday. I'm just gonna close the door
*Mark does a squeak noise*
M: And I'm gonna listen through the radio and just let me know-
*Radio turning on sound*
M: If you need anything, I'm here for you, baby.
E: Hey, it's me Andy, and I'm here too, and I'm also here for you
E: Just want to let you know okay, bye!
*Bob sighs*
M: ♪ Juno~ ♪
♪ I love you... ♪ (crowd awws at M's love for B)
♪ My little sweetheart~ ♪
♪ And you'll always be my baby ♪
(T: baby~) ♪ Juno.. ♪ (E: Juno~ harmonizing)
♪ I love you~ ♪ (E: We love you~)
♪ When you're taking a poo, I'll be there for you~ ♪
(E & T: TAKING A POOOOOOOO~!)
♪ Oh, Juno~ ♪
T, E & M (harmonize) : ♪ JUNO! ♪
(E: TAKING A POOP!)
M: I love you... (whispers)
(T: I LOVE YOU!)
E: There are no Raisinets here!
W: I want Raisinets!
E: If we find Raisinets in your body
E: you're gonna be in big trouble mister
W: Oh! Oh! I promise I don't have any Raisinets!
M: Well you know...
M: My grandma had a saying for this very specific circumstance
M: She said "If you ever come across a guy in the middle of the woods with an ax chopping up bodies in half and
M: He makes an excuse that he's putting him in a cemetery because he's trying to save space
She- *growls*
T: She said, "Ducks are pretty great aren't they mate?"
M: Wait no I was an idiot for a second, that's not what my grandma said sorry about that
E: What she really said was, "It's not a phase mom!" I think-
M: Oh God... sorry, I went in a fugue state you know
M: I don't know who I am at some points, but I know who my grandma was and she said-
M: "You're as pretty as a possum in a blender"
E: I just want to preface this this is not about the getting laid part. It's about a different part
We've become
Was that a ding or was that not a ding god I
E: I didn't hear one. Sorry. I'm also going crazy
W: And Uranus is the laughingstock of the solar system, but why?
W: We should respect Uranus. Uranus deserves love and attention.
W: Uranus deserves hope!
W: It deserves feelings!
W: It deserves love!
W: Love Uranus!
W: No! No!
M: Give me some that, oh yeah
M: I'm having second thoughts...
E: ♪ I've never seen something so beautiful- ♪
E: ♪ Like this sandwich! ♪
E: ♪ Can't express how much I love ♪
E: ♪ This sandwich. It's got pickles and onions. ♪
E: ♪ It's got mustard and cheese ♪
E: ♪ I just want to eat this sandwich ♪
E: ♪ I'm begging on my knees. I love this sandwich! ♪
E: ♪ I love this sandwich, please let me eat my sandwich♪
E: ♪ I know it's not lunch time, but it can be lunchtime right now If you let me eat my sandwich ♪
E: ♪ Yeah~ ♪
W: Woah! Woah! Woah!
W: That is an above average sandwich!
M: You get that extraordinarily ass out of my town!
T: I'm still here telling you there are no raisinets and if you find them in your body... You're... I'm gonna slice you elsewhere.
M: Wait. I can't let it end like this not for my team
M: I invoke article 32-b/CAB AY CMCA
E: What?
*Mark's mating call*
*Still does it even though he's supposed to switch*
M: AH! Rrr ret
M: ooo Ma ma
M: ee ba bap bo
M: Are you turned on now?
T: But my mom has the solution to your problem
M: I know this. I know his mom
Anyway, here's Wonderwall
B: Eeeeeaaaall
B: yyyaaaooooww
B: No! Anything but my Wonderwall!
M: I didn't think that anything was gonna happen, but my hands are magic
*Mark's hands fart*
M: Alright enough for two oh yeah, always good to end on a fart. Joke yeah, that's perfect alright, so that's enough of that