- Get ready.
You're about to completely change the way
you think about yourself.
(upbeat music)
What's up, socials?
Welcome back to Amy TV.
You may have seen a video I made a couple of months ago
called How To Wake Up at 5 a.m.
Even If You Don't Feel Like It.
Well, in that video I mentioned one tip that included
reading the book The 5 Second Rule which was written
by Mel Robbins.
And, I'm so excited.
So, many of you have written me in the comments
and in the DMs, "Thank you for recommending this book.
"It's changing my life."
And I am so pumped about that.
I love that this very simple thing that is so amazing
can help you get more done.
And, I knew that I had to find a way to get Mel
to talk to you directly here on Amy TV
because if we made such a connection with her book,
we have to be able to continue the conversation.
So, last week I spoke in Nashville at an event
called Marketing United put on by Emma
and I found out when I was trolling their website
that Mel Robbins would also be speaking.
So, I knew that this is going to be my big opportunity.
Turns out she was speaking on the same stage as me,
just a couple sessions later which is so freakin' cool.
So, after I spoke and before she went out
and did her keynote, we talked for a couple of minutes
about the effect of The 5 Second Rule
being that really amazing first step,
but what to do when you go beyond that.
What is the next thing that we need to do?
How do you combat the self-doubt
that seems to creep back in?
I'm so excited that I get to share that chat with you today.
Before we dive in, if you haven't already,
please make sure you subscribe to this channel.
I make new videos every Wednesday and Sunday
and I try to get really cool people on if I can
but it doesn't always happen.
Usually it's just me, we're sitting here in this office
having a chat and if you're into that sort of thing
then I do it a lot.
So, stay tuned.
So, can we just start with self-doubt
is the biggest jerk ever, like just
you're a jerk, self-doubt.
What's wrong with you?
We try so hard to take action,
look past what other people are thinking about us
and yet, we still find a way to criticize
in our own little bodies and minds
that we can't achieve the things that we truly truly want.
What I love about The 5 Second Rule and it's a must must
must must must read.
Oh my God, how do I not have it in my hand right now?
This is an absolute must read because you can literally
go from zero to action in five seconds.
And, I know it sounds ridiculously simple,
but it is so true.
And, when you start to understand yourself
and the science behind it, you will get so excited
about what you can do.
But, once you've done that, staying in control is key.
And, keeping The 5 Second Rule in your arsenal
is super important, but we also have to keep
that self-doubt from taking over.
And, that is why I'm so excited
to have Mel Robbins on Amy TV today
to talk about this with us.
I do wanna take this time to give you a warning.
Not very often do we drop four-letter words around here,
but I am not in the business of censorship.
I only like to talk to people who are an unapologetic
authentic version of themselves.
And, Mel is the epitome of that.
Just be aware that there is some strong language
in this chat and that if you have any little ones
in the room or you're listening to this in public,
be respectful and pop in some ear buds.
Mel Robbins is an expert (gentle upbeat music)
on leadership and defeating doubt.
She is an award-winning CNN commentator,
best-selling author, and one of the most sought after
motivational speakers in the world #goals.
The 5 Second Rule came from one of the most successful
TEDx Talks in the world and is now an international
best-selling book including a number one release
on Amazon and Audible.
I highly recommend the Audible version, oh my God.
Now, let's pop over to the Country Music Hall of Fame
in the Green Room where I sat down with Mel Robbins
to talk about how to eliminate self-doubt forever.
Mel, I did a video a couple of weeks ago
about how do I get up at 5 a.m.?
And--
- Can you tell me?
(both laughing)
- No, what?
You just told me.
What are you talking about?
I had just finished reading The 5 Second Rule
and everyone was asking me how I wake up
early in the morning or why I wake up early in the morning.
So, I was getting a lot of feedback on that.
What's so cool about The 5 Second Rule and what I have found
in just life in general is that there's something so amazing
in terms of relief that you can take one small step
or do something practical, learn something practical
and make so much happen.
- Yep.
- The 5 Second Rule is like that first step.
- It's a tool.
- Right. - But, here's the thing.
I think everybody, so this is what you need to know.
Every one of us pretty much knows the little stuff
we need to do, but we don't know
how to make ourselves do it.
- Right.
- When you don't feel like it, when you doubt yourself,
when you're terrified, when you're afraid
of what your friends think, when you're worried
about what your parents are gonna do if you do this thing.
- Right.
- You know what to do, you don't know how to make yourself
push through the excuses.
And, there's literally always going to be
an excuse, always, always.
And, so the trick to beating any excuse
is using The 5 Second Rule which is you start
counting backwards, five, four, three, two, one,
the moment you feel the doubt, the moment you feel the fear,
the moment you feel like I don't wanna get of fucking bed.
Five, four, three, two, one.
- Yeah.
- And, you actually switch gears in your brain
and by the time you hit one, you're prefrontal cortex
is activated and that's the part of the brain
that you need awake and paying attention
in order to change, in order to speak with courage,
in order to take a risk, in order to learn anything new.
So, that's why it works for getting out of bed.
And most people learn it and then they start using it
to push themselves to do things that are really annoying.
- Right.
- Like exercising, getting up on time,
not drinking that much, eating healthy,
speaking up at work, asking for a raise,
starting a business.
But, then you go into the cooler things to use it for,
which is your mindset and whether or not
you listen to the bullshit that you have been listening to
in your own head for you. - And, that's what I wanna
ask you about it
because there's waking up at 5 a.m.
And, there's a lot of people watching my channel
that have said, "Oh this has changed everything.
"I wake up early."
But, then they wake up and they're like very excited
they're out of bed and it's a good moment
to have that.
You have that one small win.
But, that's when the self-doubt and sort of the issues
of taking the second step and the third step
start to sink in again.
- Yes.
- And, I just am curious to hear how have you observed
these small steps that people can take
and what are those next things?
You wake up in the morning
and then you start telling yourself, great I'm up,
but I don't know if I'm worthy to go after
the life that I want.
I don't know if I wanna do this thing
or pursue this goal because I don't know if I can.
- Okay, so here's the thing I want you to understand.
You don't have self-doubt.
- Okay.
- You have a habit of doubting yourself.
- I love that.
- And, the reason why it's important
to label any fucking thinking pattern that you have
as a habit is because it is just a pattern.
Now, you may have learned this pattern from your mother,
from your father, from some dipshit teacher
that trashed you.
You may be a victim of sexual abuse
like I was when I was little.
You may have had terrible things happen to you.
You may have had some dirt bag tell you
that you are unworthy and you started to believe it.
But, I'm here to tell everybody that any thinking pattern
that you have is simply a habit.
And, habits are stored right here.
And, what is great news about the fact
that self-doubt is just a habit
is that you can use science to break the habit.
And, so what's super cool is yeah,
start using The 5 Second Rule to push your ass out of bed
and to put down the croissants and to walk away
from the Manhattan, you know, 'cause you've already
had one tonight or whatever it may be.
Or not pick up the smokes when you
and your girlfriends are out drinking
and you're one of those party smokers
but you don't wanna do it 'cause you hate
how your tongue feels in the morning, whatever it may be.
But, then what I want you to do is I want you to actually
police your thoughts.
Because your thoughts drift.
Nobody intentionally wakes up and says
today I'm gonna think only shitty things about myself.
- Mmm, yeah.
- Those thoughts drift when you're not paying attention.
And, so you can go five, four, three, two, one,
awaken your prefrontal cortex, interrupt the habit
of doubting yourself or saying you're unworthy
and boom, once you hit one, you've actually
already taken action that is completely different
from stopping to think.
You've taken action by counting.
- I love how you just put that.
I've never put it that way.
You are only saying these things to yourself,
this negative self-talk, these negative thoughts
because you're not paying attention.
- Yeah, and somebody taught you to do this.
- Yeah.
- I learned to suck my thumb when I was little.
- Right.
- Very soothing.
Actually it wasn't even my thumb.
It was these two fingers.
I'm not flipping you off.
I mean these two puppies since I was 11, weird.
It was a habit that I learned.
Probably learned it by watching other kids or whatever
for whatever reason.
- Yeah, every, who you surround yourself with,
what's happening around you, you observe it, you follow.
We're all little monkeys.
- I wish that when I was your age
I knew that I wasn't stuck
with the things that I thought.
I only learned this four years ago.
And, when you understand that you can control
what you think about, you can't control what's happening.
You can't control what other people are doing.
You can't control, like, really anything
that's going on around you.
But, you can always choose what you think about next.
Always.
And, so you are not a victim.
You may have been victimized, but you are not a victim,
because you can always catch yourself saying bullshit
and go five, four, three, two, one and take control
of what you're actually going to think next.
And, when you understand that in your bones,
you will know the secret to actually speaking your truth.
You will know the secret to finding the courage
to live your life in a way that expresses
your highest self and your highest purpose.
You will find the courage to say no to people.
And, so I think it starts with push yourself out of bed
and get control of some of your actions.
And then what you will start to learn
is how to actually use
this simple five, four, three, two, one
form of metacognition to train your own mind
to think totally differently.
- Mel, do you still sometimes have to count down
from five to get out of bed?
- Every single morning.
I'll tell you why.
I hate getting out of bed, I fucking hate it.
And, so I've been using this every morning
for nine years.
And, I want you to understand,
just 'cause you hate it, doesn't mean you can't do it.
And, there may be things that you will have to do
for the rest of your life.
I include putting away dishes, I hate that.
I don't mind loading the dishwasher.
I hate putting away clean dishes.
I don't mind doing the laundry.
I hate folding laundry and putting it away.
I hate getting out of bed.
I hate stopping after one Manhattan.
I hate exercising.
These are things I've done for almost nine years.
I still hate it.
- You can hate it and do it. - You don't have to be
an exercise person.
Right, you don't have to be a fold the laundry person.
You definitely don't have to be a morning person.
- And, you can still get up. - You just have to get up.
- Exactly. - I love that.
Thank you, Mel.
- My pleasure.
- Thank you so much, Mel and Mel Robbins' team,
oh my gosh, they were amazing in making this happen
for us here at Amy TV.
Make sure you check out The 5 Second Rule.
It is only the most popular book
ever, ever, ever right now.
I mean, like, that's kind of a biased opinion,
but it's also kinda true.
Now, I wanna turn it over to you.
Let's start to break this down.
How is self-doubt holding you back?
What are you not doing that you could be
but you've told yourself and you've made a habit
of telling yourself that you can't, or your shouldn't,
or others wouldn't like it, or it's not the easy thing?
Share that in the comments below.
Let's help each other.
If you enjoyed this, please make sure
you give the video a thumbs up.
Let's let Mel know we appreciate her.
And, if you like this sort of thing, motivational,
productivity, make sure you subscribe to this channel.
Again, I make videos ever Wednesday and Sunday.
I'd love for you to come back.
That's all for today, socials. (gentle upbeat music)
Thank you so much for tuning in.
I appreciate it as always.
Make sure you subscribe
for good vibes and remember to continue
to go after the life that you want.
Cheers.