[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HELLO.
HELLO, AGAIN. I'M LAURA INGRAHAM AND YOU'RE
WATCHING "THE INGRAHAM ANGLE." WHICH RE-AIRS ON TELEMUNDO AS
"LA MADRE DEL DIABLO." LATER IN THE PROGRAM,
CELEBRITIES IN CALIFORNIA ARE WHINING ABOUT SOME TINY
WILDFIRES, WHILE OUR HEROIC PRESIDENT IS UNDER CONSTANT
ATTACK FROM RAIN. BUT, FIRST, LET'S TALK ABOUT THE
RAMPANT VOTER FRAUD THAT ALLOWED DEMOCRATS TO LITERALLY STEAL THE
ELECTION. SOME HAVE CLAIMED THAT SUBURBAN
WOMEN REVOLTED AGAINST THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, BUT DOESN'T IT
FEEL MORE TRUE THAT ALL HISPANICS VOTED TWICE?
YOU CAN'T DISMISS THAT IDEA SIMPLY BECAUSE IT ISN'T TRUE AND
SOUNDS INSANE. IN FACT, LET'S ADD THAT TO OUR
LIST OF FEEL FACTS. WHICH AREN'T TECHNICALLY FACTS,
BUT THEY JUST FEEL TRUE. LIKE --
LATINOS CAN HAVE A BABY EVERY THREE MONTHS.
SANTA IS JESUS' DAD. IF THE EARTH IS SO WARM, THEN
WHY ARE MY FEET COLD? BLACKFACE IS A COMPLIMENT.
IF YOU HAVE LESS THAN FIVE GUNS, YOU'RE GAY.
NOW HERE TO EXPLAIN HOW RAMPANT THIS VOTER FRAUD HAS GOTTEN IS
PULITZER-PRIZE ELIGIBLE JUDGE JEANINE PIRRO.
>> I HATE THEM, LAURA! >> WHO?
>> SORRY, THAT'S JUST MY VOCAL WARM-UP.
>> JUDGE, NOW WHAT SPECIFIC EXAMPLES OF VOTER FRAUD HAVE YOU
UNCOVERED? >> WELL IN GEORGIA, MANY PEOPLE
WERE WEARING DISGUISES IN ORDER TO VOTE MULTIPLES TIMES.
FOR EXAMPLE, I SAW THIS MAN VOTE IN ATLANTA.
THEN HE WENT INTO HIS CAR AND CHANGED INTO THIS WOMAN.
AND HE WAS THREATENING WHITE VOTERS WITH A GUN AND YELLING,
"HE[ LAUGHTER ] UR!"
>> VERY DISTURBING. >> AND APPARENTLY THERE WAS A
HUGE INCREASE IN WHAT PEOPLE CALL STACKING, WHERE MULTIPLE
CHILDREN WILL STACK ON TOP OF EACH OTHER UNDER A TRENCH COAT
AND THEN VOTE AS AN ADULT. >> WOW, FANTASTIC JOURNALISM,
JANEANE. >> DUH.
OF COURSE I HAVE TO TAKE A MOMENT TO THANK MY SPONSORS, THE
FEW REMAINING BUSINESSES THAT ARE WILLING TO BE ASSOCIATED
WITH ME. STARTING WITH FASHION CATHETERS.
GOT POOR CONTROL BUT GREAT STYLE?
FASHION CATHETERS. NOW WITH GENUINE SWAROVSKI
CRYSTALS. OUCH.
AND IS YOUR DOG STILL NOT BAPTIZED?
THEN ORDER REVEREND WHITAKER'S HOME DOG BAPTISM KIT.
BECAUSE ALL DOGS DON'T GO TO HEAVEN UNLESS THEY'RE PROPERLY
BAPTIZED. AND ONLY WANT THE HEALTHY PART
OF THE EGG? TRY WHITES ONLY.
IT'S EGG WHITES AND IT'S JUST FOR US.
ALRIGHT MY NEXT GUEST HAS BEEN UNDER INTENSE SCRUTINY FOR
LETTING RUSSIANS USE HIS WEBSITE TO SPREAD LIES ABOUT CANDIDATES.
PLEASE WELCOME FACEBOOK CEO MARK ZUCKERBERG.
>> HEY LAURA, IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE.
SMILE TWO, THREE, FOUR. >> MARK, ARE YOU COMFORTABLE?
WHY ARE YOU HOLDING YOUR ARMS LIKE THAT?
>> BECAUSE WHEN I PRACTICED IT EARLIER, THERE WAS A TABLE.
>> INTENSE. NOW, MARK, WHAT ABOUT THE STORY
THAT FOX HAD A SMEAR CAMPAIGN WITH GEORGE SOROS, SEEN HERE IN
THIS PHOTO, DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT CAMPAIGN?
>> ABSOLUTELY NOT, LAURA. BLINK TWICE, EYEBALLS.
THE IDEA WE EMPLOYED A HORRIBLE COMPANY MAKES ME LAUGH -- HA,
HA, HA. >> GOOD JOB.
PEOPLE SAY MY LAUGH IS CHILLING. AND HOW ARE YOU ADJUSTING TO
DEMANDS FOR FACEBOOK TO BECOME MORE TRANSPARENT?
>> I CAN'T BE ANYMORE TRANSPARENT.
HAVE YOU SEEN MY SKIN? HA, HA, HA.
IF I WERE MORE TRANSPARENT, I WOULD BE CLEAR.
SERIOUSLY, I KID. I THINK THE PROBLEM IS WHEN I DO
BAD THINGS, I GET MONEY. HA, HA, HA.
>> THANK YOU, MARK. DEMOCRATS WILL SOON BE DECIDING
WHO'S GOING TO BE THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE.
HERE TO COMMENT IS DIVERSE CONGRESSWOMAN FROM OHIO, PLEASE
WELCOME REPRESENTATIVE MARCIA FUDGE.
>> HI, LAURA, THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
>> CONGRESSWOMAN FUDGE, YOU'RE CHALLENGING NANCY PELOSI FOR
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE. WHY DO YOU THINK SHE HAS TO GO?
>> NANCY PELOSI IS TAINTED. FOR YEARS THE GOP HAS USED HER
NAME AGAINST US. BUT REPUBLICANS COULD NEVER FIND
A WAY TO MAKE FUN OF ME, A MIDDLE-AGED BLACK WOMAN NAMED
FUDGE. >> NO, DEFINITELY NOT.
AND DO YOU THINK NANCY PELOSI, SEEN HERE IN THE RECENT DOCUMENT
ABOUT HER, "THE NUN," DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALLY GIVE UP
THE CHANCE TO BE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE?
>> LOOK, I LOVE NANCY PELOSI AND I'M NOT SAYING SHE'S OLD BUT HER
BABY SISTER IS A REDWOOD TREE. WHEN SHE STARTED THE TRIAL, SHE
WAS SPEAKER OF THE CAVE. SOMEONE GIVE ME A MICROPHONE.
THIS BITCH IS SO OLD, WHEN SHE WAS BORN, THE DOCTORS SAID, IT'S
THE FIRST GIRL! SHE JUST CALLS THE OLD
TESTAMENT, THE TESTAMENT. SHE'S SO OLD, HER BIRTHSTONE IS
ROSETTA! >> OKAY, I THINK WE UNDERSTAND,
MARCIA.
>> OKAY, I'M DONE. AND THE OTHER REASON I SHOULD BE
SPEAKER, IS THAT I CAN HELP MOBILIZE THE BLACK VOTE.
[ SIRENS ] >> UH-OH.
THE PHRASE "MOBILIZE THE BLACK VOTE" HAS SET OFF OUR FOX NEWS
"THE COUNTRY IS CHANGING" ALARMS.
MARCIA, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
>> I THINK THAT YOU'RE LUCKY WE IN A REMOTE INTERVIEW.
CAUSE IF I WAS THERE IN PERSON, I WOULD KNOCK THE FUDGE OUT OF
YOU. >> WELL --
ALRIGHT, LET'S TAKE A BREAK AND HEAR FROM OUR SPONSORS.
LIKE TEENY TINY TURKEYS. HAVE YOU ALIENATED EVERYONE IN
YOUR LIFE? HAVE THANKSGIVING FOR ONE WITH A
TEENY TINY TURKEY. WE SWEAR IT AIN'T A PIGEON.
AND CASH FOR ORGANS. YOU DON'T NEED ALL THOSE ORGANS.
PLUS, VOLKSWAGEN: YOU KNOW WHY.
AND WHEN WE COME BACK, PART TWO OF MY INTERVIEW WITH THE
SELF-PROCLAIMED VAPE GOD. A REAL PERSON I HAD ON MY SHOW.
>> Y'ALL WHAT UP. I'M READY TO TALK POLITICS AND
RIP SOME FAT CLOUDS. >> AND YOU'RE NOT TROLLING ME,
RIGHT? YOU'RE A REAL EXPERT ON E-CIG
LAWS? >> OH FOR SURE.
I GOT THAT SWAG. I GOT THAT DRIP.
>> AND OUR PRODUCERS HAVE FULLY VETTED YOU?
BECAUSE WE BUMPED SUPREME COURT JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS TO SPEAK
WITH YOU. >> THEN YOU MADE THE RIGHT
CHOICE. MY PUFF PUFF GAME DILLY DILLY.
>> WOW. FINALLY A MILLENNIAL WHO'S
SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE. MUCH MORE WITH THAT GENTLEMAN
WHEN WE RETURN. >> I'LL HAVE MY DONG OUT.
>> I CAN'T WAIT. AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
SATURDAY NIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪