We all want to have a better relationship with the people we care about, right? Sometimes
sentences that seem harmless to us can upset others. When it comes to conversation, there
are certain phrases that bother some people more than others. According to the research
of over 300 INTJs trying to find out which phrases bother them, and after compiling their
answers, it is clear that there are some things that bother INTJs more than others and would
almost always have a negative result. INTJ's skills in reason are their only certainty,
and one of their main strengths is their confidence in their ideas.
However, these strengths can be turned into weaknesses if they become slaves to people's
emotions and put too much care into their words. Unfortunately, this is not uncommon
among INTJs.
Today I’m talking about the top 7 things you should never say to an INTJ. Let's get
into it.
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Starting us off and number 7 on our list is "You don’t understand what you are doing”
If an INTJ took the time to make a statement, they probably thought about it carefully first.
As dominant introverts, they tend to thoroughly process and analyze issues before speaking.
If you are confused or agree with the opposition, it is better to ask for an explanation instead
of accusing them of "not knowing" what they are saying. INTJs like to look at situations
logically. They like to single out a situation and analyze how someone reacted and what might
be the cause. If they like something, they know why they like it and they can give you
a good reason. INTJs are people who think a lot. Analytics
excites them and allows them to get some of their great innovative ideas. Telling them
they don't understand what they are doing is tantamount to telling an artist, "You paint
too much!" Make sure you give them a chance to do things
in their own way and do not try to take control.
Number 6 on today's list of things you should never tell an INTJ is “Why don’t you share
it?”
Introverts typically do not like to share anything about their lives with just anyone
and INTJs have one of the most private personalities and lives. When people over-share, they get
bored and they really do not want to know about your sister who bullied you when you
were a kid. We all know someone who comes in and doesn't
stop talking, even if they don't know you well. It bothers an INTJ a lot because it
is rude to tell them to quit. In addition, it is usually impossible to change the subject,
because they return it to themselves. Some INTJs can say that non-stop talking is
not too bad, because they can leave the person, but it still makes them tired and unhappy.
So they do tend to get angry at people who talk incessantly. But if you can tell them
interesting stories or information, they will gladly listen to you for hours. They need
to be interesting and captivating though.
Next up and number 5 today is “You are very tedious and consistent”
If someone is constantly late (also partly because they grew up with a family member
that is chronically late) they are not bothered. They can plan ahead, or bring something they
can do during this time if they know it is going to happen. But an INTJ can upset if
you're usually early and suddenly late, and then early. They need this stability. They
also hate when people change their "yes" to "no" after a while. Or when someone in authority
authorizes one person to do something but does not allow another; even if all other
things are equal. INTJs value consistency and people actually doing what they say they
are going to do.
Number 4 today is "You are not able to do this"
Getting stuck, restricted, or controlled in any way is very frustrating for an INTJ. If
you tell them they can't do it, they will probably try to prove to you how much they
can do it. INTJs are known for their sudden and unusual insights into how things are done.
They are skilled strategists and are very good at predicting future events. Think long
and hard before making one of their predictions! You may find that their words come to mind
later and actually do make sense. INTJs are pioneers of new methods and generally
avoid traditional methods or rules. For INTJ, just because something is always done one
way does not mean it is the best way. The goal of INTJs is to complement existing systems
or create new systems in general.
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Kicking off the top 3 on our list of things to never say to an INTJ is "You need to be
happy and spirited”
Credibility is very important for INTJs. Do not expect a smile unless they feel that the
smile is real and honest. It is not in their nature to smile and engage in social pleasures
"just because". INTJs are usually serious people, but this
is not something to be ashamed of. Isaac Newton and Nikola Tesla were INTJ, and they were
very serious people but still had a great sense of humor around the right people. Most
INTJs actually have a great sense of humor but no one appreciates being forced to have
fake joy, especially not INTJs.
The runner up spot and number 2 on our list is "You should not be alone”
That's a good thing but not necessarily for an INTJ. Do not plan your time with an INTJ
too much or do not constantly text them or over-stimulate them so that they cannot retreat
in their minds. INTJs need time alone every day, sometimes for long periods. INTJs trust
their intuition to connect living points and gain knowledge of their goals or theories.
Introverted intuition requires a lot of personal space and energy to effectively gain control,
and when INTJs need time to use their introverted intuition, it is best to give it to them.
They need time That is free from distraction. Relying on their dominant introverted intuitions,
they gain insights into connecting goals, theories, and dreams in life. Make sure they
have plenty of time alone to use their dominant function and form ideas.
Coming in at number 1 and topping our list of things you should never say to an INTj
is "You should hang out and go out more"
INTJs are highly independent and rely on a time of solitude and silence to access their
insights and intuitive thoughts. They need a lot of time alone to feel satisfied and
relieve stress, so try not to pressure them to engage in too much social interaction if
they are not interested. If there's one thing that immediately bothers an INTJ, it's telling
them you're going to have a "surprise" visit! If you want to visit unexpectedly, you need
a good reason, and you still want to text and get permission first. For INTJs, their
pre-planned social interactions aren’t a stressor. They rely on the third function,
introverted feeling to determine if something is valid or consistent with their values in
society. They have no patience for nonsense, manipulation, or emotional strategies to provoke
a reaction. Different manipulation that can occur in relationships is not only revolting
for them but also can cause INTJ to lose full respect for the person trying to manipulate.
Some of these are things that many people will hate and every INTJ will be a little
different. However, if you can relate to most of them, chances are you are an INTJ. You
can always count on them to be direct, honest, but at the same time open and full of ideas.
They focus on many of their abstract ideas and concepts within themselves but often avoid
action when it comes to their emotions. This may have consequences for personal well-being
and long-term relationships. Of course, if someone criticizes their work properly and
has a better method and suggestion for an INTJ, they will be very happy and open-minded.
Because they are one of the most independent MBTI personality types, they have to live
their life based on their line of thinking and surely no one can help them better than
themselves.
You’ve got this. Now go get it done.
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