If he's not the man for you,
he's not the man for you.
And you've got to hold true to that
and let him go.
And you have to learn to
trust your intuition because
it is your intuition, your spirit,
that is trying to speak to you
and trying to tell you.
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I know some of you believe that
an ex should always remain an ex.
Why are you going back to the past?
Leave them there.
If they found themselves being an ex to you
then there's a reason why
and you don't need to forget that.
However, slow down, slow down.
That's not always the case, all right.
There's going to be some situations where
reconciling with an ex is the right move,
but there's going to be many situations where
he does not deserve a second chance.
So, let's talk about when
he does not deserve a second opportunity.
Number one, you knew
he was never the one to begin with.
Why are we sitting here trying to
entertain getting back with someone,
when you knew, they were never for you.
When you knew, you were never
truly into them.
When you knew,
that's not where God wanted you to be.
So, why even bother?
I don't care how many sorries he says.
I don't care whether he explains to you
that he's now learned.
I don't care if he begs and pleads.
If he's not the man for you,
he's not the man for you.
And you got to hold true to that
and let him go.
And you have to learn to
trust your intuition because
it is your intuition, your spirit,
that is trying to speak to you
and trying to tell you.
And the vast majority of cases,
as a woman, you know.
I don't really have to tell you.
You know but are you willing
to accept the answer?
Are you willing to embrace
what your spirit is telling you?
Or are you trying to rationalize past it?
And the reality is,
all these failed marriages,
failed relationships,
were women who rationalized past
their intuition, their spirit
or God telling them he's not the guy.
So, in those situations,
he doesn't deserve no second chance.
He doesn't deserve
not a drop of your damn time, all right.
Let him go.
But number two, let's just say,
we're going to leave that to the side for a second
about whether you know he's the one or not.
Number two,
he ain't learn a damn thing
from what he did the first time.
Listen, I've seen so many situations where
the guy, you know,
violating the relationship
whether it's cheating, disrespect,
inappropriate behavior,
whatever the case may be, all right.
You have a big fight you break up.
Now, he comes back saying I’m sorry.
But I’m sorry means nothing.
The best apology is change behavior.
So, if he hasn't changed his behavior,
if he can't even explain to you
why now he now understands
it was wrong for him to do those things.
If he can't show you the growth in
grasping the whole dynamic
and why it was wrong,
then there's no reason
for you to entertain it.
You've got to leave it alone,
sorry is not enough.
Begging is not enough,
showing up at your job,
calling you a bunch of times
or begging your family members
to talk to you, is not enough.
Has he shown true growth and understanding
from what was done wrong?
And is he now willing
and showing a true change in behavior?
And I know you may say well listen,
how am I supposed to know
he really changed,
unless I take him back first?
Let's stop killing ourselves.
We can see change in people,
we can see that
the energy, the spirit has shifted,
when someone has really
humbled themselves in
understanding how they were wrong.
But in many cases,
there is no humbleness in it.
There is arrogance in it.
There is deflection in it.
There is saying,
oh, it's not a big deal,
you know, you're tripping.
We need to just leave this alone
put it in the past.
That's not enough,
let him go, all right.
So, I just gave you a couple reasons why
he does not deserve a second chance.
But let's consider when
he needs or deserves a second chance.
And at this point, you probably figured it out already.
If one, he's actually
learned from his mistakes, all right.
If the man can show true growth,
then there's no reason for you to say well,
he's an ex he has to remain an ex.
No, like, if he can show you that
he has become the man he needs to be,
then why wouldn't you entertain that.
But I cannot give you that reason by itself.
Because the real reason
you should even be considering
taking the ex back,
giving him a second chance,
is when you can honestly say,
there's a genuine connection here.
When you can honestly say that
you've prayed about it,
you've asked God and God said yes,
this is where you belong.
Now, if that is in place, all right.
And we can add to it that
this man has learned
and can explain where he went wrong
and show growth,
now a second chance can be given.
But you cannot overlook talking to God.
You cannot overlook
trusting your spirit
and getting in tune with your spirit
to begin with.
Without that, nothing else matters.
So, there's going to be
some situations where,
yes, taking them back
is the right thing to do because
sometimes it is the right person wrong time.
And I will do a completely different video
diving into that belief, okay.
But outside of that,
he doesn't deserve
another damn chance, period.
And you've got to be real with yourself
and understand when you're dealing with
the wrong man and you don't need to
drag this on any longer.
So, I hope you enjoyed this video,
I hope you found it helpful
and I'll see it in the next one.
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