- Here comes April Fool.
April Fool is here again.
Here to bring you jokes and shapes
and all kinds of merriment.
Hey there, agh!
- You're gonna get it now.
- No, no, no, no!
- Go, go, get out of here!
Gotcha now April Fuck.
- Yeah it's April Fuck's Day.
- Oh, oh, very good,
thou has entrapped me in a most comical joke.
Why, this reminds me of a perilous encounter
with the dangerous updog.
- What's-- - No!
- Hmm?
Do you have a question about the updog?
- I am sick of these basic boring ass pranks
every April Fool's.
This ends now.
(metal clanking)
- Stop murdering this moron.
It is I, Sir John Duh, defender of the basic,
champion of the plain.
- Yeah, we know.
You've been here before.
(sword slicing through air)
- Aa-haa!
Ha ha!
Have ye seen this map of Google?
Very exciting news here.
There is irrefutable evidence of the Loch Ness Monster.
Here on the map.
- It's not real. - That isn't real.
- By Jove, are you this enraged
when a magician does a trick?
Course it's not real.
Let him have this, c'mon.
- The map is a fiction!
You have been bamboozled again!
Ta-ha, ti-hi, ti-lum!
- Look at his simple joy.
Would you rob him of that?
- These aren't jokes.
They're barely pranks.
- Yeah, they're like clumsy lies
about things I don't care about.
- Well, perhaps here, in your gilded hall,
the difference between a joke, a prank, and a lie,
is obvious but to the common man,
this day represents a chance for all to play the fool.
Even if they are truly desperately unfunny.
- That's why I've given you all whoopie cushions.
(gasps)
- Really? - No!
You have been hoodwinked again.
- Fuck this guy!
Sir fool, you have done it again.
- I am the cleverest boy in the world.
- You are.
- No, he's not the cleverest boy.
He's a menace.
- He's everywhere all day.
- Yes, an entire day devoted to frivolity.
I'm sorry are we looking for less whimsy in 2019?
- This is bullshit.
- Bullshit?
Well, perhaps this will brighten your spirits.
It concerns a flame war on Twitter.com
between Wendy's and the Bell of Taco.
- My word!
What has happened?
- Oh, venom words and barbed tongues, my lord.
Except, it was all agreed upon in days before.
It was a marketing campaign, you see.
And you believed it all.
- I mean it's fun to imagine that it might be real.
- No, it's not.
These aren't jokes.
- Yeah, they're half-baked commercials
from disingenuous companies.
- So you would like powerful corporations
to be more humorless?
- No, that's--
- I'm just trying to understand.
- They're pretending to be better than they are.
- I agree, many corporations are quite wicked.
Shall we go make war on them right now?
- Well. - We're kind of busy.
- And that's, I don't--
- Busy?
- Oh, you have to make time to stop and smell the roses?
Would anyone like a whiff?
- Could be a real--
(water squirting)
Nope, it's fake.
- Baha, tis a fake flower you see.
Once that squirts and squibbles
and spits out little moisture blobs.
- Friends, you are entitled to your feelings,
but in an age of increasing isolation,
even the silliest holiday helps unite us all
to fall on our backsides,
laugh at our misfortune,
and rise again.
What could be more human than that?
- I agree and further more.
(screeching)
- God! - God!
- Ye were not expecting that yet you should have.
- Every time!
- Can I do one?
I'll try one.
(easy going music)
- I like that joke because everyone's included.
Bless this mess!?
Who would call their own home a mess?
- A home a mess.
It's not really a joke.
- C'mon, this day's a hoot.