uh ladies and gentlemen our first guest was nominated for an Academy Award for her a fine
performance in the motion picture fearless and she has also appeared in White Men Can't
Jump and also the film that could happen to you ladies and Gentlemen please welcome back
to the program the always fly
Rosie Perez [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]
yes sir man alive I want to tell you something you look great you look every time I see you
you look better and better thank you you really really look very lovely now I'll tell you
one other little thing about you when I think of your name Rosie Perez I think of Tony Perez
who used to play baseball for the Cincinnati Reds and I kind of get them confused and I
I want I want to call you Tony Perez oh he's a great ball player played first base Third
Base little Outfield and man could he hit that ball he could Jerk it right out of the
park this man could dial mine you know for long distance
no I'm saying it's just that you know Tony Perez Rosie Perez Rosie Perez Tony Perez you
know what I'm saying
how you doing I have I have um uh uh brush with greatly you have a brush with greatness
yeah all right here we go okay um I was in these uh this nightclub right and like there
was this raffle right and um he was real dope and he's like you know find another thing
right and so um he came up to me and he asked me to dance right and I was like yeah you
know we could swing a little bit so I was like real nervous and everything right and
my friend Victor the hole he was I'm sorry excuse me your friend Victor the hoe Victor
de ho Victor the hoe the whole yeah
I have a friend named Eddie The Rake but I get that I don't think it's completely different
it did a little business with him last night I think uh Victor the hoe now what why do
they call him that well his name is Victor De Jesus oh so Victor of Jesus but I call
him Victor of holes because he's a [ __ ] [Applause] I thought you know I thought we
were going to get away clean and it just took I if I lived to be a thousand I could not
have predicted that would have happened just then but he's a really good friend of course
he is he's just the whole but um so
I didn't finish my story no okay so I was dancing right yeah and and like I was like
oh my God I can't believe I'm dancing him because like no I'm not you're enjoying yourself
yes you know he's fine yeah you're really you're really deaf no you really fly you're
really Sky you're really what are you doing
yeah grouping okay right so so anyway so he thought it like dancing a little sexy like
that right and you know he was giving me that those eyes you know like when you dance you
know like when a guy goes like this
and you can't you know we see that again what is he doing he goes yeah right out of me to
me to me that suggests an inner ear disorder hello yay all right
all right so you and Victor all right relax relax you and Victor are dancing no no no
are you in the rapper oh Victor is your friend I'm sorry so Victor was one so then like my
head got souped and everything I'm sorry my head got suit you know your head got soup
yeah cause like my head got big because I thought I was all that oh I see right and
okay so so then I I you know and I I was feeling you know kind of good so I went and I did
one of those solid gold spins put your hands up and you go back down right and I was wearing
this this dress that had pasghetti straps right and [Applause] yeah that's right okay
let's see this is tight try linguine okay this linguine may work a little easier
sister okay I don't know what I'm talking about you don't need to tell me girlfriend
but I went and I and I was like these right and I turned and I put my hands up like this
and I came down like this and sewed in my dress down to my ankle and I was there my
I mean
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you
you know you know who I feel bad for Victor the hoe
that's the real victim in this story all right all right let's let's take a second here now
to clear our heads by the way looks like the canaries got out
it's a joke you know I said that the
nah that's always what I said looks like the canaries got out and it's just a little joke
you know because they're enormous they're huge huge hoops is it true that vicar the
hoe is here tonight is he really here I think he you see in the back do you want to see
it will he come out and say hello to folks well or will he frighten people to be considered
I don't want to frighten people this is a very nice group of folks real cute all right
well let's send him out send out Victor the hoe [Applause] all right there okay Victor
[Applause] all right thanks
get out of here bye-bye thank you [Applause] [Music]
you know oddly enough that's everything I thought it would be
congratulations I understand you're now a homeowner yes I yes all right what kind of
car are you driving do you drive out here what kind of car do you have what's the matter
with you straighten up oh tell me what kind of car no no no what kind of car are you driving
[Laughter]
so what now what kind of Trooper yeah I know
oh yeah okay yeah you happy with the purchase you like the car the car yeah yeah good exactly
all right so now let's get back to the house this is very exciting yes it is I was very
stressed I signed the papers this morning and um I was so nervous and and it was funny
because the the people I was in a room full of lawyers and stuff and everything and I
said I have to go to the bathroom and they go in I I came back from the bathroom and
I was like I have to call my aunt and they're like why I said because I need her blessings
and they go you're kidding yeah and I said it's it's a it's a Puerto Rican thing whatever
I can't go further unless I get you know like you know like you know like when you call
up your your father or your mother and you say Bend this song you know like that on the
phone and then that that means like benediction like you asked for blessings exactly and then
in Spanish they say may God be with you right but her blessings went for a long time and
they kind of got irritated as well but I do but I do that often you know you have that's
all right there's nothing wrong with that are you a little nervous about the purchase
uh very nervous I mean because like when when they tell you you know a certain price listen
when you buy a house no can we don't don't listen to them when they give you the initial
price because you got there's so much more you want to pay you got oh that's right and
you also you should try and negotiate you should Dicker you know with the price a little
[Applause]
well you know whatever it takes to get the price down
be prepared now are you uh are you gonna move right in is the thing furnished and ready
to go no it's not furnished I I call I caught like my really um wealthy friends like Michael
Fuchs you know who yeah it has something to do with HBO yeah the way my cable goes out
about once a week so pass that along
Michael since you're like the chairman of the board of HBO when you're rich and you
don't have a hole to support you know maybe but no it's like because he doesn't have a
steady you don't have a oh to support I'm sure he appreciates being characterized in
this fashion but I asked them to like furnish a room in my house hell good for you is it
gonna happen well I was kind of insulted when he said well what are you going to do for
me and I called him a pig and everything like that but he said that he's gonna do it and
everything but we have a little gift for you here we have a little gift what's the matter
well my house yes for your house go for your Isuzu Troopers
open that up hurry
Rosie Perez I hope you enjoy it I hope you don't have one already see what you got there
oh that's nice that's a it's a Hibachi those are great it'll be great you grill on these
for the summer it'll be perfect
[Music] listen thank you very much for being here and I'm serious congratulations on the
house that's a wonderful thing that'll be the best thing you've done in your life nice
to see you again Rosie Rosie Perez kids all right [Music]