Jon: Please don't try this at home.
Riley: You could get seriously injured, or even worse...
Jory: You'll be dead!
*theme song plays*
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Hello, and welcome to...
Jory and Riley: ..."Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
I'm your host, Jory Caron.
And I'm your sidekick, Riley McIlwain.
Today, we're going to be microwaving this lava lamp.
Riley: Again?!
Jory: I reinforced the top, so it should be, like, a bigger boom. AND in HD!
Riley: 1080p widescreen!
Jory: Light bulb behind it, it's gonna glow, give us a nice show, I think. I don't know! Emmett Gordon donated this.
*Riley gives angelic falsetto*
Jory: Let's go ahead and put this inside Penelope. Aw, there we go!
Riley: Oh, yeah! How long should we put it in there for, Jory Caron?
Jory: 19:76!
Riley: Why?
Jory: I have no idea!
Riley: Alright, 19:76!
*bubbles from liquid puzzle*
Riley: Get outta there!
*Jory cries out in pain*
Jory: Casualty!
Jory: Riley?
Riley: Yeah?
Jory: Are you ready for the greatest night of your life?
Jon: Riley wasn't our sidekick when the lava lamp episode first aired in season 3. Ryan Lewis was our sidekick. And fun fact- for the longest time, it was our most viewed video.
Jon: And today, folks, it is the "Jennifer Lopez Nude on New Year's" video.
Jon: Predictions, guys- do you think the lava lamp is going to explode? How long do you think it will take to explode? And do the Detroit Lions have a chance in the playoffs this season?
Jory: Yes, yes, no!
Jon: Alright!
Riley: Why isn't the light bulb going off?
Jon: Because you touch yourself at night!
Riley: Maybe it's a dead microwave.
Jon: Okay, guys, let's talk about the "1000 Ways to Die" episode where the guy microwaves a lava lamp and kills himself.
Jory: (in falsetto) Stupid!
Jory: Oh, it's SO dumb!
Jon: So, we have proven, because we've already done it, that it's not, it's not real.
Jory: I mean, he was standing right next to it, but the worst he would get is, like, oil burns. I hope it just shatters the doors!
Riley: (laughs) Just destroys the whole side of the house?
Jory: (makes death sound) We just die? Wouldn't that be the ultimate, like, way to get back at us for mocking the "1000 Ways to Die"? Maybe we just got lucky once.
Jory: Oh, this could be bad...
*lava lamp explodes*
Riley: Oh, my God!
Jon: Whoo! That was intense!
*Jory breathes heavily*
Riley: (to Jory) You totally, totally could have died! You totally...! YOU got lucky!
Riley: Look it- there's glass EVERYWHERE!
*Jory keeps breathing heavily, in shock*
Riley: (excitedly) Look at the, look at the floor!
Jon: Did anything break over...? Oh, this, this went through here!
Riley: (laughing) Oh, no!
Riley: Here's the light bulb!
Jon: Where's the glass?
Riley: Everywhere! It's on the floor, look-it!
Jon: I told you that was a stupid idea!
Riley: No, that was a GREAT idea!
Jory: That was a great idea!
Riley: That was a great idea! (laughs)
Jory: I wonder if she still works?
Jon: (to Jory) Your camera over here is covered in somethin'!
Jory: (awestricken) Oh, cool!
*Riley laughs hysterically*
Jon: It's covered in red particles.
Riley: (too shocked to think of verdict) Um...
Jory: Holy [beep]in' [beep]!
Riley: Yeah!
Jory: Okay? Um, all that trash talking we were doing about "1000 Ways to Die"? Apparently, we just got lucky the first time...
Jon: Yeah! We got lucky the second time, too!
Jory: ...because I would NOT have liked to be right here!
Riley: The air bag sent ONE piece of glass. Lava lamp?
Jory and Riley: The WHOLE thing!
Jory: Shrapnel!
Riley: Yeah!
Jory: If you really want to see some of the magnitude here, softbox?
Jory: A piece of glass, I'm assuming, went through it, then right through the back of it, and then hit your house.
Jory: In case you're wondering if it was a good idea or a bad idea, I'd say that was the greatest dumb idea yet!
Riley: (laughs) Yeah!
Jory: It wasn't like the air bag where I only had, like, a split second to get out. If I had been, like, "Oh, let's turn this off. Let's go in there..." (makes sound of dying agony)
*Riley makes machine gun noises*
Jory: Greatest dumb idea! What I'm saying is do NOT do this at home!
Riley: EVER!
Jory: Do NOT!
Jory and Riley: Ever, EVER!
Jon: We've already done it twice so you don't have to!
Jory: Don't THINK about doing it at home!
Riley: Yeah!
Jory: That's about it for...
Jory and Riley: ..."Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
I'm still alive as your host, Jory Caron.
And I'm just still never surprised, Riley McIlwain.
Jory: I don't have to go to the bathroom anymore!
*end credits play*
Riley: (in announcer voice throughout) It's "Is a Good Idea to Microwave This?" starring Jory Caron!
Jory: (also in announcer voice throughout) And Riley McIlwain!
Riley: And featuring...
Jory: ...Will Ferrell!
Riley: And a guest star, Denzel Washington!
Jory: With musical guest...
Riley: ...Sting! And now, your host, Denzel Washington!
*Click on episode #167 to see just why Summer is crazy and allows for more room in bed!*