- [Eric] Yep, that's me.
You're probably wondering how I ended up here,
let's take a step back.
My name is Eric and I grew up here,
^birthplace of La Croix sparkling water.
Seltzer is in my blood.
So today, I'm gonna try as many flavors as I can.
It's a lot of seltzer to try so I'm gonna have
some friends help me out and select our favorites.
After I've tried them all we're gonna combine all 70
to make the world's first mega-seltzer.
First up, Polar.
^- I hated seltzer water my whole life
^and then dated somebody who loved Polar.
(popping sounds)
^- I don't like to do seltzer with straws.
^I think you lose the carbonation in the straw
on the way to your mouth, right?
(popping sounds)
- Yeah, that's good, I'm into that.
- I'm eating seltzer for lunch.
- Up next, Hal's.
How are you related to the company?
^Second cousin--
^- I wish I could say I was, like, the CEO and owner,
but I get no profit from how many
Hal's seltzer waters are sold.
(popping sounds)
I wonder what intern was like, "Okay,
"I have an idea, a coffee-flavored water."
I mean, it's not bad, it's not bad.
- It's not bad, right?
- It's not bad.
I'm kinda mad about that, actually.
It tastes a little bit like when you
have consumed an iced coffee and,
like, the ice is melted and it's just,
like, the watery flavor down at the bottom,
that's a little bit what it tastes like.
- Up next, Bubly.
Bubly.
- Bubly.
- No, I think it's Bubly.
^- It says no calories, no sweeteners, all smiles,
^and as a woman I find that offensive
because I don't like anybody telling me to smile,
especially not my seltzer.
(popping sounds)
- I'm just trying to hold back so many burps.
- It's probably gonna be really unpleasant
coming out of your mouth and out of your butt later
because I bet you're gonna get a lot of farts.
(popping sounds)
- Do you think Michael Buble is a brand ambassador for this?
- I mean, he should be.
If he isn't, they're idiots.
I mean, smooth jazz, smooth sparkling water.
- Is he a jazz musician?
- Doesn't he play, like, the jazz clarinet or something?
Or no, am I getting him confused with someone.
- Kenny G?
- I'm thinking of Kenny G.
- Next up is Spindrift.
This is made with real fruit as opposed
to being an essence with fruit.
^I still don't know what essence means.
(popping sounds)
Ten calories?
This is the most caloric seltzer we've had yet.
Up next, Adirondack.
^- I immediately was brought back to
^when I get sick and I get medicine.
- I mean, I feel sick but I think
it's for a different reason.
(popping sounds)
(Eric burping)
- I can't work in these conditions.
(popping sounds)
- Up next, 365.
So we are starting with your favorite flavor.
- Yes, which is a lack of flavor.
(popping sounds)
- [Eric] Next up is Vintage, 17 left.
- You'll see this when you open it,
it's gonna be substantial.
- You think it'll erupt?
- You gotta be careful.
(popping sounds)
(Eric burping)
- Excuse me.
Up next, La Croix, only 14 more to go.
- I always called it La Croix
^because that's the correct pronunciation,
but then I understand it's based on the river,
which the locals call La Croix, I guess.
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
- Alright, hope you're thirsty.
- Oh, honey, oh, me.
(popping sounds)
- So why is it called pamplemousse,
is that how you pronounce it?
- Pamplemousse?
^I mean, it's French for grapefruit.
- It's French, I didn't know that.
- Okay, so as part of my, like,
La Croix boy identity I've realized something.
I feel like there's actually--
(overlapping talking)
- Totally.
- Right?
- [Eric] And now the grand finale, Schweppes,
only four more to taste.
- I am kind of a lukewarm on seltzer
^only because it makes me gassy.
(popping sounds)
- I've waited what feels like years for this.
I feel greasy, I'm kind of sweating.
Ironically I'm thirsty.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
(celebratory instrumental music)
- Well, we're not quite done.
As promised, we are going to attempt
something that has never been done before.
We are going to combine all 70 seltzers,
which I just drank, into a big vat
and create the world's first mega-seltzer.
(instrumental rock music)
- It's a little off-white, which I love.
- It's kind of like a very pale Rose.
- There's a lot going on.
- I don't hate it.
- It's just weird, it's just weird.
- I see things floating in there.
- It's perplexing.
- [Eric] So there you have it.
We tried every seltzer we could get our hands on
and we combined every seltzer we could get our hands on,
and now, now I gotta pee.
(instrumental rock music)