Could your body language be holding you back
in the interview room?
We know that what you say matters,
as well as how you say it, but what isn't as known
is that body language actually communicates
the most information in in-person interactions.
It provides context on your emotions, your confidence,
and even your trustworthiness in order
to create an overall impression of who you are.
So even if you've thoughtfully prepared an answer
to every interview question, your unchecked body language
could be undermining your message.
That's why I asked the Indeed career coaches
for their advice on body language
at each stage of the interview process.
Be sure to stick around to the end
where I provide some important information about signals
of dishonesty.
These are unconscious gestures that you really want to avoid.
Alright, let's dive in!
Tip #1: Perfect your handshake.
Since it's the only time, you're likely to touch
your interviewer, handshakes can say a lot about you.
So to show confidence and friendliness,
always aim to initiate the handshake.
And the trickiest thing about the whole situation is grip.
Too firm will seem aggressive and like you're trying a lot.
Too soft will seem weak and maybe unconfident.
So to avoid this, always aim to match the interviewer's grip
or otherwise default to something that feels firm,
but like you're not forcing it.
It should feel natural to you.
End the handshake after two seconds,
and try to repeat the person's name back to them.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jennifer!"
That way you kick off some rapport,
but it also helps you remember it.
Two caveats here: If you're interviewing virtually,
your handshake is the first time you appear on screen
and introduce yourself to your interviewer,
so make sure to carve out some time and space to smile right
when you're on camera, make eye contact with the camera,
and introduce yourself in a calm and professional way.
The other situation is that your interviewer may not
want to shake hands, which is standard in various cultures,
and if that's the case, just mirror their behavior.
Tip #2: Mirror your interviewer.
Now, as humans, we naturally like and trust
people that behave similarly to us.
So we can leverage this knowledge
by creating similarity through our gestures and behavior.
That could be as simple as seeing your interviewer tilt
their head while listening to you
and then you following suit shortly after.
Now, be careful with this guidance, because it's
really easy to overdo it in a way that seems pretty obviously
disingenuous.
So take some time to notice the behavior,
and then wait a moment before adopting it yourself.
Remember that mirroring also applies to the general energy
that the interviewer brings to the interaction.
Are they talking fast and loud, softly and deliberately?
Are they all business, or do they want some small talk?
Taking note of all of these things
is really important right at the beginning of the interview
so that you can subtly follow suit.
Meeting your interviewer where they are in this way
energetically can help build rapport and definitely
demonstrate adaptability.
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Tip #3: Embody an open, engaged posture.
Now, when we're nervous, it's incredibly natural
and almost instinctual to do things that soothe us and make
us feel less intrusive.
So that might be crossing your arms
or even putting your arms on the table.
It could be slouching or leaning back in the chair.
The only thing that that really serves to do
is, first of all, make us feel and look small,
and then it can often even create this sense
that you're really nervous, or even worse,
disinterested in the interaction.
Remember, by doing that, you're creating literal barriers
to interaction between you and the potential employer, right?
Whether it's your arms or whether it's just distance.
So when we feel those instincts, what we want to do instead
is create an open, engaged posture
by sitting up straight, pulling our shoulders back, keeping
our torso open, and then leaning forward slightly at the hip.
It makes it seem like we're being pulled
into the conversation, right?
And then I personally always end up crossing my legs.
They're crossed right now.
But if you can, uncross your legs,
and plant both feet on the floor.
This helps further open up your body language,
and it can help you prevent yourself
from bouncing your foot or tapping your foot.
And then from this state, it shows we're open,
we're engaged, we're ready for questions, we're confident,
and we have nothing to hide.
All of this still applies for virtual interviewing as well.
The only thing to remember about virtual interviewing
is that since the range of you that's displayed
is confined to your torso, any movements you make in that area
are amplified.
So even though we might feel like it's
fine to bounce our foot if we're just interviewing virtually,
does that for balance make you kind of wobble
around slightly in your torso?
Because if so, remember, that's going
to be looking like a pretty substantive action on camera.
So basically that to say, stillness
is really critical for virtual interviewing.
Tip #4: Create natural but direct eye contact.
Now, when we're nervous, a lot of people
will kind look down, look around, or even sort of look
through the interviewer instead of directly at them.
But then a lot of people who are told
make eye contact will end up sort
of glued to the interviewer's eyes and staring them down
in a way that's way too intense or intimate for an interview
setting, right?
So in order to find a middle ground,
it's super helpful to remember why humans make
eye contact in the first place.
And that's because when we're listening to someone that's
speaking, we make eye contact with them to show "Hi,
I'm giving you attention!
I'm listening and responding to what you're saying."
And in contrast, if you're speaking,
you want to make eye contact with your listener
because you want to check in with them,
see if they're understanding your message,
and to make sure that they're responding in a way
that you hope, right?
All that to say, if you focus on the quality of communication
between you and your interviewer,
and you are genuinely interested in showing them
attention and making sure the interaction goes well,
you'll likely find yourself just embodying direct eye
contact that's not too intense.
You'll probably shift from eye to eye every now and then.
And then even you'll probably feel comfortable
breaking away from eye contact to think about something
or even to recall something before returning back
to making eye contact with the other party.
Now, if you're in a panel interview,
it's always best to direct your attention and gaze
to whoever is speaking.
But if you're speaking, then start out
by making eye contact with the person who just spoke
or who asked you the question, and then allowing
yourself to open up and connect with other interviewers
so that everybody feels included.
And then if you're interviewing virtually,
this all pretty much applies.
But just make sure that your camera is really at eye level.
That might sometimes involve moving your laptop up or down
on top of some books, depending on what eye level is for you.
That way you're not tempted to look elsewhere,
and no one on camera feels like you're looking down or even
up at them, right?
For more interview tips, I highly
recommend that you check out this video on what
to avoid in an interview.
Tip #5: Be aware of your resting face.
Now, it's totally normal when we let
our face go to have it maybe communicate something
that we don't actually feel.
So if I totally let my face go, it
can sometimes seem like I'm skeptical or disinterested.
And a lot of times, the only correction that's necessary
is just drawing attention back to your face
and thinking, "Oh, what do I look like right now?
What am I emoting?"
But if you are someone that gets comments
on occasion about seeming sad or upset when you're not,
you're just resting, then it can be helpful in an interview
just to be aware of your face, but then also
to do a couple of these gestures.
So when humans are tuning into someone's message,
they'll often tilt their head slightly,
which shows sort of an engagement and a receptiveness
to the message.
Another thing is simply raising your eyebrows.
That can show that you're engaged.
And then when it comes to smiling, a lot of people
feel like, "Oh my gosh, I have to smile
all my way through this interview,"
but that's actually not true and can
make it sort of seem forced.
So in contrast, all that's necessary really
there is just instead of letting your mouth completely
go, to simply draw attention to the corners of your mouth.
That's all that's needed, and that will sort of naturally
create a more engaging and a friendly look to the face,
right?
Tip #6: Use calm and receptive gestures.
Now, as for calmness, a lot of people know not to fidget.
But since fidgeting is a way of self-soothing,
it's a lot easier said than done,
whether it's playing with your jewelry or tapping your hands,
then it can be really difficult to catch yourself doing it
in the moment.
I know for me, the worst thing that I would always
do in interviews was playing with my hair, which
I didn't even notice I was doing until someone called me out
on it and I was really embarrassed.
Because I think that, in particular,
is kind of a nervous and juvenile habit to have.
So long-haired people, watch out for that one.
But my recommendation if you know
that you're prone to fidgeting is
to just eliminate the temptation altogether as much as possible.
So for me, if I were in an interview
or in a situation I was nervous, hair
would be up and away from the face.
And if you are someone that maybe plays with your hands,
one tactic that's recommended is to hold
one hand over the other, and put it in your lap.
This allows you to still keep your torso open and engaged,
but that top hand's just reminding the bottom hand
to stay put, basically.
I do recommend that over something
like clasped hands, which can still sort of turn
into a self-soothing gesture.
But sometimes that doesn't work for people, either of those.
So if that's the case and you're really
knowing that you're going to do fidget a lot in the interview,
I recommend having something in your lap,
whether it's a pen, your resume, your notebook.
Have something in your lap that you
know your task is to hold onto either side.
You can even make a gesture and then return that hand back,
but just having that home base will
be helpful to prevent a lot of excessive movement.
Granted, that doesn't always look 100% natural,
and I'm sure it doesn't feel 100% natural.
But it is a lot better than constantly fidgeting
in a way that might betray you as very nervous
and be distracting.
As for gestures outside of fidgeting,
there are a few to know and the most important one
to really come back to is opened and slightly angled hands.
Now, this communicates honesty, receptivity, engagement.
But I say slightly angled because if we go too far
like this, which could happen when we over-implement advice.
It sort of seems like we're beckoning or something, right?
So open and slightly angled.
Keep it under control, people.
And then hand on heart demonstrate sincerity.
You're speaking from a personal place.
But then one to avoid, that doesn't
offer a ton of benefit and then when used in an incorrect way
can be pretty risky, is pointing, actually.
Pointing when it's done just in conversation sort of casually
can feel aggressive or condescending.
And when done properly or not in an aggressive way,
it's really only useful in contexts like "man,
they really know what they're doing,"
or "they really did a great job on that."
And even in that case, it's still better to sub in "wow,
they really know what they're doing!"
It just feels a bit less aggressive,
so watch out if you're pointer.
Try and sub in some of those open angled hands instead.
Finally, as promised in the beginning,
my last tip is to avoid lying signals.
Now, whether it's the case that you're lying or not,
observers innately perceive these things as you lying,
you disagreeing with them, or maybe
you knowing something that they don't know.
There's three sort of buckets of behavior groups
here, so I'll run through them really quickly.
So group one is asymmetrical facial movements.
These are basically movements where something's
happening on one side of your face
that is not happening on the other side of your face.
It can be things like smirks, right?
Or one eyebrow up, even biting your lip,
or pursing your lips to one side, right?
Kind of indicates something's off there.
I feel weird even doing it.
The second group is clashing expressions.
So these might be something like smiling
when you're talking about something that was really,
really awful or even something as simple as shaking
your head when you're saying yes, so that would be like yes.
Yeah, totally.
Right?
It's hard even to do.
And it's because it presents your words as incongruous
with your meaning, and that can often
raise a red flag in terms of your trustworthiness
to your listener.
All right, and the last group of lying signals
is touching your face.
And this one is sort of tricky, because I think it's something
that all of us do.
And we don't always read it as dishonest.
But if it's something that you do a lot,
then it can seem like something called self-regulation where
basically by touching your face when you're talking,
even touching your ear or your hair,
it indicates-- if you're doing it
a lot-- that you are trying to figure out
how you look to the other person when you're saying something.
Like, what do I look like as I'm saying this?
Which can sometimes seem like well,
why are they checking in on that question
when they're talking about this?
So generally, not as much of a red flag as the other two,
but still something just, whether it
seems like nervousness or through repetition,
seems more like a lying gesture, better just to avoid.
So now let's do a quick recap of the important points I've
offered on creating successful body
language during an interview:
Tip #1: Perfect your handshake.
Make sure you initiate it to show confidence, match
your interviewer's grip, or otherwise default
to something that feels firm but natural for you.
Tip #2: Mirror your interviewer's body language
and energy, so take note of where
they are right at the beginning of the exchange,
and then sort of subtly align yourself to that
throughout the interview.
Tip #3: Embody an open, engaged posture.
So make sure that you sit up straight with your torso open,
tilt slightly forward at the hip,
and avoid anything that's going to block you off.
Tip #4: Create natural but direct eye contact,
and a lot of that can simply come
from remembering that you want to really
be listening and paying attention to your interviewer's
message when they're speaking, and then checking up on them
and seeing how they're reacting when you speaking.
Tip #5: Be aware of your resting face.
And again, a lot of this here can just
come from calling attention privately
to what your face is doing, but it's always
helpful to remember that a great default is slightly
tilting your head, since it's a universal I'm listening signal.
Tip #6: Use calm receptive gestures.
So don't fidget, and remember that open, slightly
angled hands are a great default if you do want to gesture.
And then Tip #7: Avoid any lying signals that
might undermine your message.
So that would involve asymmetrical facial movements,
clashing gestures, and even sometimes,
if it's repeated, touching your face.
All right, I know that's a lot, but just
remember that your ultimate goal is
to portray yourself as someone that's
open, positive, and attentive.
If you found this video helpful, please
give us a like down below, subscribe to our channel right
here, and check this playlist for more interviewing
and advice, or you can check out this video right here,
which is all about the best pre-interview strategy.
All right, thank you so much for watching.
I hope this was helpful, and I'll see you next time!