Hi ladies, welcome to my latest and greatest dating advice video.
This time, the topic is how to get over your ex and move on as quickly as possible.
So, if you’re dealing with some post-breakup blues right now, you’re watching the right
video…
I’m going to share several little-known tricks for minimizing heartache and moving
on as quickly as possible after your breakup.
You probably already know who I am, but for any new viewers out there, my name is Amy
North…
I’m a women’s dating coach from Canada, and I’m the owner of CoachNorth.com, my
popular ladies-only website featuring free relationship guidance videos.
So, enough self-promotion…. let’s talk about how to recover from a breakup with the
least possible heartache.
The very first thing you’ll want to do after a breakup is to remove obvious reminders of
your ex -- photos of you together, stuffed animals and love notes, jewellery, etc -- and
either toss them in the trash, or stuff them in a box and put it in storage.
Once you’re fully healed and over your ex, then you can open the box and decide what
you want to keep, but until then you really don’t need to be constantly reminded of
him.
This also applies to your ex’s phone number.
If you find yourself tempted to text or call him, but you know that’s not something that
you should be doing, then deleting his contact details from your phone is an easy solution.
This doesn’t work if you’ve got his number memorized, obviously, but it definitely does
help if you lack self-control or you’re the type to send drunk texts when you’re
emotional.
You can write down your ex’s number and give it to a friend for safekeeping until
you’re fully over him.
Now, as a little side note here, I’ve been fortunate enough to work with Brad Browning
frequently in the past… he is arguably the world’s #1 breakup expert, and Brad recently
shared with me a new tactic for recovering from a breakup that I absolutely love.
He suggests writing down a big list of all the things you hated about your ex boyfriend,
or all the things he did or said over your time together that pissed you off or upset
you.
Maybe he had an annoying habit, maybe he unfairly criticized your friends, or maybe you absolutely
despised the t-shirt he wore all the time….
Doesn’t matter how big or small they are, just write down absolutely everything you
aren’t going to miss about your ex.
Then, any time you’re feeling down and missing your ex like mad, whip out the list and read
through it to remind yourself that he wasn’t perfect and there are many ways in which you’re
better off without him.
Another thing I’ve learned from Brad about breakups is related to “closure”... he
says it’s natural for most people to seek out the reasons why their relationship ended.
I’ve noticed this working with my own coaching clients, as well…
it’s as though people feel like they need to hear some magic words from their ex in
order to accept the breakup and move on.
I understand that feeling, but I also agree with Brad that it’s never a good idea to
chase your ex and try to get him to explain his thinking or answer your questions.
The reality is that nothing he’s going say will give you the sense of closure that you’re
looking for.
Like I said, Brad Browning is perhaps the best-known and most-respected breakup expert
out there, so please check out his YouTube channel or visit BeatTheBreakup.com for more
of his tricks and tips for getting over your ex practically overnight….
Again, that’s www.BeatTheBreakup.com.
Now, let’s move along here and talk briefly about emotions.
Let’s not kid ourselves here, ladies….
Breakups are emotional.
Crying is inevitable.
And it’s OK to lie at home with a box of Kleenex for the first 24 or 48 hours after
your breakup.
But after a day or two feeling sorry for yourself, that type of thing is no longer acceptable,
and it will start to prolong the heartache instead of healing it.
So, by the time 48 hours has passed since the breakup, you should definitely not be
sitting at home alone crying, you should be out occupying yourself and keeping your mind
off your ex.
Speaking of which, you know what the very best resource is when it comes to overcoming
a breakup?
Your friends.
This is one of those times where you can lean on your friends to support you and make sure
you’re busy enough doing fun stuff that there’s no time to think about the breakup.
Do whatever you can to stay busy for the first couple of weeks after you break up…
I don’t care whether you feel like going out with the girls or not, you’re going.
Trust me, this is the best thing you can do to take your mind off you ex boyfriend.
Now is also a great time to make new friends, expand your social circle, and try new hobbies
or activities that will allow you meet lots of new people.
If you embrace this type of stuff after a tough breakup, it often feels as though you’ve
gone through a life transformation that is actually going to leave you better off than
if you had stayed with your ex.
Use the opportunity to ‘reset’ your life and go back to pursuing some of those goals
or dreams you’d pushed to the sidelines when you were in a relationship.
Sometimes, taking up new hobbies, meeting new people, and chasing life dreams can really
put you out of your comfort zone.
It can be scary, especially when you’ve become so accustomed to spending every night
in your pajamas watching Seinfeld re-runs… but that’s what you want.
You want to use this opportunity to steer your life in a new, positive direction, and
that’s always going to be a bit scary at first.
But it’s also going to help you get through this breakup faster and with less heartache,
so it’s time to face those fears and just go for it.
Now, earlier I talked about the importance of your friends in helping you get past the
breakup… but there’s one particular friendship that is definitely not a good idea at this
point.
I’m talking about being friends with your ex, which is just a downright bad idea regardless
of how emotional you’re feeling or how cordial the breakup was.
It might be a possibility in the future, but please take my word for it when I say that
trying to maintain a friendship with your ex in the first weeks and months after a breakup
is a terrible idea that will only prolong your sadness and loneliness.
Breakup specialists like Brad Browning pretty much universally agree on this point… so,
resist the temptation to be friends with your ex guy, and avoid contact with him as much
as possible.
OK, I’ve got one final tip for you before I wrap this video up… and this one is really
important, even though it may not directly seem like it, it will help you move on from
your ex and the breakup.
Please don’t try to get revenge on your ex, spread rumours about him, or do anything
else like that.
I don’t care how much of a dick your ex was or how often he treated you like crap,
trying to get back at him or bad-mouthing him at every opportunity won’t make you
feel any better in the long run… and it probably won’t even be satisfying in the
moment, either.
So resist the urge to slash the tires on his car, tell the world his embarrassing secrets,
etc… that kind of thing ends up reflecting poorly on you, it makes you less attractive
to potential future boyfriends, and it’s just not a constructive, grown-up way to handle
a breakup.
That’s it for this video, folks.
Thanks for watching, as always, and please please please do me a big favour and show
your support by subscribing to my channel here on YouTube….
Do that for me and I promise to personally answer your questions in the comments below
and continuing making free videos like this one.
For more help with your breakup and your love life in general, my website is available 24
hours a day, 7 days a week… the URL is www.CoachNorth.com, and that’s where you can also find my contact
info and details about my 1-on-1 Skype coaching services.
Thanks again for all your support ladies… good luck, I’ll see you again soon!