-Hi. In this video,
we're going to talk about how to make sense
of the voices in your head and use them to create an amazing life.
[music]
Hello there, Mat Shaffer here,
your relationship, empowerment and connection coach.
Today's topic, what we're going to talk about today in this video
is how to distinguish the different voices we have operating in our head
and harness them and manage them
in a way that allows you to live your best possible life.
It's really cool and it's going to be a little different
than our normal videos.
Really hang with us here
because it is going to give you value, I guarantee it.
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All right?
All right.
Let's do this.
First off, let's talk about it.
First off, can you acknowledge
from where you're at right now
that all of us are a little crazy?
All of us have voices in our head.
You've got different voices operating.
You've got thoughts continuously running through your head.
Ask yourself, where are those thoughts coming from?
Have you ever really asked yourself?
What I want to pose to you
is that you've got two main sources
for the thoughts and the feelings that you're experiencing all the time.
You've got two main sources.
You've got your ego
and you've got your higher self.
Depending upon which source you listen to,
which thoughts or feelings you pay attention to,
that's going to determine the quality of your life,
because you are not your thoughts or your feelings,
and you are not your ego or your higher self.
You're the witness to all of that.
You are consciousness.
You as consciousness are experiencing
your thoughts and your feelings from both of these forces in your life.
You have a choice as a consciousness,
as a witness of which of these forces you listen to
and which you allow to guide and influence your behavior
and your decisions.
That's the core foundation
of what it is that we're talking about today.
I wanted to set that context for you.
Let's look at these two different forces and what their motivations are.
First off, we'll start with your ego, because your ego is, for most people,
a large driving force in their lives.
Your ego is the fixed identity.
Your ego is your understanding
of who you are and what makes you different
and separate from everything and everyone else.
Your ego is a static,
fixed understanding of who you are,
what you're capable of and what you're not capable of.
Your ego basically is this sense of understanding
who you are that has been built
throughout the entire course of your life.
All of your memories, all of your wounds,
everything that you've experienced and all the beliefs
that were created by all of your experiences,
your limiting beliefs,
your beliefs around worthiness, what love you deserve,
the relationships that you get to have.
All those beliefs that you've accumulated over the course of your life
are based in your ego.
Your ego wants you to stay the same.
That's at the foundation of your ego.
Your ego wants you to stay safe.
What safety means to your ego is you staying in one space.
Whenever you're feeling the feelings of fear,
whenever you're feeling the feelings of unworthiness,
of insecurity, of doubt, self-loathing.
All of these feelings and thoughts associated with them,
they're coming from your ego.
Because what are those thoughts and feelings trying to get you to do?
They're trying to get you to disconnect.
They're trying to get you to play small.
They're trying to get you to not move forward
into anything unknown
because that could be a danger
to this fixed understanding of who you are.
The greatest way to understand
and discern if it's your ego talking to you
is to look at the end result
of what the thoughts and the feelings want you to do.
If they want you to disconnect, shut down, play small, isolate,
not move forward
into a new potential threshold of something new for you,
chances are, that's your ego.
How many people do you know that are continually operating
from that space, from their ego?
How many people do you know that have been stuck
in the same cycle of the same type of relationships
or the same miserable career for 10, 20, 30, 40 years?
These are people that have spent their entire lives listening to their ego
and allowing their ego to dictate their behavior.
I personally, I can't operate that way.
I coach my clients into not operating that way too,
because most people's patterns,
especially their negative patterns, especially their self-destructive patterns
or their self-sabotaging patterns are all based in their ego.
Again, your ego is not evil.
I don't want you to think your ego is evil.
All your ego wants us to keep you safe.
We get to love our ego, but we do not get to let it control us.
On the other side of this, you have your higher self,
your intuition.
This voice is usually a lot less loud than your ego.
Your ego is a very loud, angry, fearful voice,
panicky voice in your head.
Your higher self is going to be much more of a whisper.
It's going to be encouraging you to step into the unknown.
It's going to be encouraging you
and asking you to go talk to that person that you have feelings for
that you're scared might hurt you, but do it anyway.
Your higher self is standing for your highest possibility.
It wants you to expand into the greatest and fullest expression of who you are,
of what you're capable of.
Your higher self is going to be a much quieter voice,
but when you look at the thoughts and the feelings that it's operating from,
it's hope,
it's possibility, it's excitement, it's joy,
it's freedom, it's expansion, it's growth.
There's fear there,
but that fear is fear of the unknown because it's not known.
It's not bad fear, it's good fear.
It can be anxiety about,
"I don't know what's out there,
but I'm going to go for it anyway."
It's a different type of fear.
It's a different type of feeling and there's going to be a lot more joy
and freedom associated with your higher self
than there would be with your ego.
Again, listen to your thoughts and feelings.
Also, the most important way to distinguish
your higher-self thoughts and feelings from your ego
is look at the end result.
If you were to follow the thoughts and feelings of your higher self,
or if you were to answer these thoughts and feelings,
and they were to lead you to growth,
expansion, connection, into the unknown, into greater possibilities,
exploring something you've never explored before,
if that's the end result
that listening to the thoughts and feelings would guide you to,
chances are, that voice is your higher self.
If we want to live our best life, if we want to have our best relationships,
we get to allow our behavior to be influenced mostly by our higher self
and not by our ego.
Does that mean that we shut down our ego and we dismiss it
and we will lock it up forever?
No.
Your ego is an important part of your identity.
It's an important part of who you are.
You need to see yourself as something separate
from everything else
that's important, but that can't be what defines you.
The metaphor I like to use
is that you are basically the consciousness
and you're the one driving the car.
Within that car, you've got two seats.
You've got your ego in one
and you've got your higher self in the other.
Your ego gets to be in the car.
It's going to be in the car no matter what,
but it does not get to touch the steering wheel of your car.
It doesn't even get to fiddle with the stereo.
Your ego doesn't even get to sit in the front seat.
It sure as heck doesn't get to navigate.
Your ego gets to sit in the backseat.
It can complain and it can talk all that fearful stuff all day.
Because that's the thing.
You don't want to lock your ego in a box.
I want you to visualize your ego as your seven-year-old self,
a small child version of you, a little girl or a little boy.
It's scared.
Your ego has so much fear
because it's living and it's defined itself
by the wounds that you've experienced in your life.
If you've got a little girl or a little boy
and they're scared out of their mind,
are you going to lock them in a closet to punish them for being scared?
Is that going to make a man feel any better?
No, it's just going to make it worse.
Your job is not to suppress your ego.
Your job is not to go to war with your fear.
Your job is to allow your ego,
to allow that little girl to express herself
from the back of the car, and then comfort her, love her.
Tell her, "I know you're afraid
and I understand that all you want is to keep me safe,
but I'm going to move forward anyway
because I want to create my greatest life.
I want to create my greatest relationships
and I'm never going to do it
if we're just sitting in the parking lot.
We get to get on the road
and I get to allow myself to be guided by my higher self."
Does that make sense?
I hope it does.
If it does, guys, take a second.
Hit the subscribe button
and recognize that you get to love your ego,
and you get to soothe your ego,
and you get to let your ego do all the chattering it wants,
but that does not get to be the guiding force
or the guiding light in your life.
Listen for your higher self.
Listen for the voice that's guiding you into deeper connection,
more meaningful relationships
and into the greatest possibilities in your life.
Operate and act from that voice
and you're going to create magic in your life.
I guarantee it.
I hope this resonated
with you and I will see you next time on my YouTube channel.
Bye-bye.