Gosh, it is hard to not worry about your health and the health of others,
especially during this pandemic and when dramatic, health-focused news is everywhere.
Now, I have never worried much about my health, but that's all changed since the pandemic hit.
So back in March of 2020, we went to a super rural part of Utah. We hiked around and we explored.
We thought we were being careful with social distancing. And then on our way back home,
we stopped for ice cream to appease our children, but we had to order inside.
And afterwards I remember being just hit with like fear and worry. And I started worrying, you know,
really catastrophizing. I told my husband, "Oh, no. I'm sure that we're gonna get COVID from
that," even though there were only a handful of cases in Utah at the time. And I decided not to
go see my parents that Easter weekend because I feared exposing them. Now, I think it's really
normal to worry about your health sometimes, and it's especially normal to worry about it during a
global pandemic. Everyone worries about their health sometimes. However, health anxiety can
be a quite serious problem when it gets more entrenched. Health anxiety is an obsessive and
irrational worry about having a serious medical condition. It's also called illness anxiety,
and it used to be called hypochondria. With health anxiety, you believe that you have
an illness that you don't actually have. Another form of health anxiety is somatization disorder,
where you interpret small bodily sensations as being a symptom of something serious. But health
anxiety is real paradox. There are some things that a lot of people try to soothe their anxiety
that actually feeds their anxiety, and this is called the health anxiety cycle. But there is an
escape. It's just, you know, different than what you might think. So in this video, you'll learn
five things you might do that make health anxiety worse, and you're gonna learn what to do instead.
The holidays are coming up, and you know what that means more time with your family.
And for many of us that's exciting, but for others that means more stress, conflict, drama,
and hurt feelings. So if you'd like to improve your relationships with family and friends
but you don't know where to start, there are steps you can take. Building good relationships
isn't just something that happens to you; it's a skill that you can learn. In my course
Better Relationships in 30 days, I'll walk you through the process of fostering appreciation,
improving communication. You'll learn how to make repairs and restore those feelings of warmth
and love. You really can learn to transform conflict into connection this holiday season.
So check out the link in the description to learn more. The health anxiety cycle usually starts
with something like a sensation in your body or even just hearing about someone else's illness.
Now, here's the first thing that you might do that makes health anxiety worse,
and this is meaning-making. This is especially common with somatization disorder. So it's
it's saying something like, "Oh, if I have this sensation, it must mean something." It's asking,
"Why am I feeling this?" Now, your brain hates unanswered questions, so it's going to invent
something to fill in that blank. So it might go something like this: you might think, "Oh my gosh,
this sniffle means I have COVID and I'm going to die." Or you have a headache and you think,
"This headache must mean that I have brain cancer and I'm going to leave my children fatherless."
So so what are the stories that you tell yourself when you're worried about your health?
Now, let me tell you a story. This last summer I was climbing the Grand Teton with my dad and some
old friends. We were all experienced climbers, and on the second day about 5 am we were scrambling
up the approach to the Exum Ridge, and we came to an area called Wall Street. This is a narrow ramp
about five feet wide, and it runs along the south ridge of the Grand Teton. And as you walk along,
it it gets narrower and narrower. Oh, and there's about a thousand foot drop beneath you.
Now, my friends and I have done stuff like this for years, but I took a long break after having
kids, so I was a little out of practice, you know, with heights and and stuff. So I mean, just so you
guys know, I am actually afraid of heights, but the more I climb, the less I worry. And that's
kind of how your brain works, right? The more you expose yourself to something that feels dangerous
but is actually safe, your anxiety levels actually drop. But I haven't been climbing for a long time,
this is my first time with this much exposure, it's like 5 am, it's freezing cold. So we're
basically transitioning from the hike part to the climb part of this, the ascent on this mountain.
Um we stopped to get our ropes out and to get our harnesses on and and to get all our gear ready.
And in that moment I got struck with this intense feeling of fear, and and I wondered what it meant.
Was it a premonition? It's it seemed like it was saying "Something terrible is going to happen.
Turn around." And I was really scared. I almost told my friends, "We should turn around.
This isn't going to end well," you know. I believed that because I was feeling this way
that it meant something. So so in that moment I checked myself and I asked "Is this a premonition,
or is this anxiety speaking?" The sky was clear, my friends and I were prepared, I'd led this
route before. And in that quiet moment, I knew it was just fear speaking. We continued upward,
and then we summited that morning to a beautiful, clear sky and a safe descent. Okay. So back to
meaning-making. When we feel anxiety or when we feel a symptom like a headache or a heart, a fast
heartbeat or something, instead of asking "Why am I feeling this? What does this mean?" say "Oh,
this is just a sensation." Or you could say, like I did on the climb, "Oh, this is anxiety speaking,
right? Just because I feel scared doesn't mean I'm in danger. Just because I think stuff doesn't mean
I'm actually sick. Just because I have a sensation like a headache or heart heart palpitation,
that doesn't mean that I'm actually sick. These are just sensations. Thoughts,
sensations, and emotions are just that: they're passing experiences, but they don't necessarily
mean something. So instead of trying to figure out what this means or why am I feeling this,
learn to make space for sensations without needing them to mean something.
Spending hours of your life trying to get to the root of why you're feeling something
is going to distract you from your life purpose. So allow yourself to feel the sensation - it's
it's just a sensation - without needing to figure out why or make a meaning of it. And
and mindfulness practice is a really practical way to learn how to do this. Okay. The second thing
you might do that makes health anxiety worse, that contributes to this health anxiety cycle
is catastrophizing. Catastrophizing is when, you know, if something is uncomfortable or worrisome,
you take it to the extreme, and you believe that the most extreme version must be true.
So you think "I feel so tired," and then you think "Oh no, what if I'm tired because I have
some horrible autoimmune disease? Then I won't be able to work, and then we'll lose the house,
and then my children will starve, and I won't be able to handle it. It's the end of the
world," right? When in reality you're tired because you worked a long day, a long week,
and your kids keep you up at night. When we take a feeling or a thought and we catastrophize,
it activates that fight/flight/freeze response. And this can actually heighten our physical
sensations. It makes your heart race and your breathing faster, and it can increase your muscle
tension. So this can actually make your symptoms seem worse. It's also going to make your anxiety
feel worse. So what do you do instead? Label it as catastrophizing. Learn to recognize the voice that
anxiety speaks in, right? Catastrophizing uses terms like "must," "have to," "always," "never,"
and extreme terms like "death" and "doom." Write a list of your most common health anxiety thoughts
so that when they show up, you can recognize them as anxiety or fears and not as reality. I like to
draw little pictures with silly hats on my fears because it helps me to see them as they are. These
are fears, not facts. Now, the next thing I'm going to say is a little bit tricky because it
works well with regular anxiety, but it doesn't work super well with OCD. So if you have an OC,
more of an OCD style of health anxiety, don't do this. But you can also check for alternatives,
right? Catastrophizing is just one explanation out of many. So you might be tired because you're
hungry. You might be tired because you're anxious. You might be tired because you had a long workout
that day. You you can tell it's catastrophizing if there's a lot of options for why you're tired,
but you're sure that the worst one is the one that's most likely. So if you want to learn
more about catastrophizing, check out my video on the on the topic. Okay. So the third thing
that makes health anxiety worse is googling. It's it's saying, "Oh, I'm going to spend tons of time
scanning the internet for verification that my fears are true." This is like pouring gas on the
anxiety fire. It just fuels that fear. Because yes, a headache could be a symptom of about
a thousand disorders, but most of the time it's just a headache. But when you seek reassurance by
searching the internet, you probably feel better for just a moment. You feel this little sense of
relief, or like you're doing something. But then this actually trains your brain to feel
more anxious and to need more reassurance. It makes your anxiety worse. Check out my video on
how anxiety is like a toddler at the grocery store because the more tantrums it throws and the more
you give into it with reassurance-seeking, the worse your anxiety is going to get.
So instead of seeking reassurance on the internet, consult a doctor once, and then limit the amount
of time seeking reassurance. So you can set an actual numerical limit on how much time
you can spend searching your symptoms. And then redirect your attention to what makes your life
rich and meaningful instead of constantly focusing on a perceived danger, because what we focus on,
we get more of. That is how the brain works. So you just kind of let your anxiety throw a tantrum.
You say "Hello, anxiety. Nice to see you again," but you don't have to give in. So you redirect
your attention and energy to what matters to you. Now, specifically, like if you worry about COVID,
it can be easy to go to the extremes to try and protect yourself from this.
And what the OCD community is saying, the OCD practitioners are saying, is
set a reasonable boundary around what safety behaviors you're going to do. And what the OCD
community is saying, the OCD practitioners are saying, is choose to follow CDC guidelines as
your standard, but don't allow yourself to make up a ton of extra rules in your head that you
have to follow to be okay, because that's going to be feeding that health anxiety or that OCD.
Okay. The fourth thing that can contribute to the health anxiety cycle is getting unnecessary tests.
So this is another form of checking. This is constantly seeking reassurance, and this is a
subtle form of avoidance. Every time you seek to reassure your anxiety by getting another test,
it's like trying to get your toddler to behave better by giving them a candy bar for throwing
a tantrum. Endlessly seeking reassurance is going to sap your life and your time and your energy.
So instead of seeking reassurance over and over, choose to spend your time on the things most
important to you. One of the ways you can tell if a worry is meaningful or is anxiety is that
anxiety almost tells you to withdraw or to focus all of your energy and attention on your fears,
on getting your symptoms checked. So so just clarify your values. What do you want your life
to be about? Then ask yourself, "Do these thoughts and feelings, these worries about your health,
do they help you live a rich and meaningful life?" If not, then redirect yourself to what you do want
your life to be about, and then choose to show up, show up to your own life. Limit the amount
of time you can spend checking on your symptoms, and choose to do what's more important to you.
Okay. The fifth thing that you might do that makes health anxiety worse is seeking certainty.
It's saying, "I have to know for sure, or else I can't live my life." So you check and you check,
and you ask more doctors, and you run more tests, and you spend more time googling. And if you count
the hours you're spending on your health anxiety or if you count the things you're missing because
of your anxiety, you'll see that checking is getting in the way of living your life.
So instead, accept that uncertainty is a part of life. Seeking to eliminate uncertainty will use up
tons of time, and it's also fruitless. If you don't believe me, check yourself right now.
Has seeking certainty helped you feel more certain? Like, the more certainty you seek,
do you feel better? If you're watching this video because you have health anxiety,
it probably hasn't helped in the long run. This process is about getting comfortable with
uncomfortable feelings. This is called the distress tolerance. With health anxiety,
it sounds like saying, "I can't know for sure. I might have some disease that I don't know about,
but I've checked enough, and now I'm going to accept that uncertainty and live my life." Give
yourself a mantra like, "I can do hard things" or "I can feel the fear and do it anyway. I can feel
the fear, and I can go to my kid's soccer game anyway, and I can be as present as possible.
The ability to feel a little uncomfortable and allow it to be there instead of trying to force it
to go away is really an essential skill, and it's what I call getting better at feeling.
I like to practice this by doing physical challenges like rock climbing or hiking,
but there's other ways to practice it too. Allowing yourself to feel your emotions,
journaling, making music and art that express your emotions, and then other things like taking cold
showers, fasting, or or challenging yourself to do something that scares you. And as you practice
this ,as you face your anxiety without trying to reassure it or check or google it or try to
make it go away, your anxiety will actually most likely go down. This is the paradox of anxiety.
Your addiction to checking will decrease. And whether your anxiety goes down or not, you'll be
better at living the life you value. In the end, health anxiety doesn't need to control your life.
But the tricky problem is that if you only focus on making fears go away, you'll often do things
that make anxiety worse in the long run. So just to summarize: these are things like avoiding
activities, researching your symptoms, seeking reassurance, and catastrophizing. These all make
your anxiety worse in the long run. So instead, I encourage you to get better at feeling. Get
better at allowing yourself to feel the anxiety and choose to live the life the way you want to
anyway. Okay. I hope that's helpful. Thank you for watching, and take care.