- Hey everyone, it's your girl, Jenn
and today we are doing a chill Get Ready With Me
and also a Q and A.
It's been a minute since I filmed one of these.
So I gathered some questions on my Instagram
and we're just gonna go with the flow.
Don't know what we're gonna do with the face today,
but we'll see what happens.
So the first question is, "What has quarantining
"at home taught you?
"Top three things."
I think this has absolutely been a time for all of us
to kind of reflect on what our values are
and what's important.
I feel like my first lesson
or reminder is just to constantly practice gratitude.
I know it sounds so cliche like #blessed,
but it's true.
I feel like this pandemic has affected all our lives,
but there are a percentage of people
that are being hit so much harder than the rest.
And so I am always trying to recognize my privilege.
We can all safely say that we know at least one person
that has lost their job and is going through it.
So now is really the time to step up and help out if you can
by donating or obviously wearing your masks
and wearing the protective gear that you can to be outside
and also to not let guilt consume you too
'cause there is a fine line.
So the second thing I wanna talk about
is the importance of routine and novelty.
During this time I've really stuck
with a quarantine routine.
I think if you guys saw my previous blogs,
you guys know the schedule that I create everyday.
Honestly, this routine has been the foundation
of the reason why I feel so focused.
This is the most focused I've ever felt
and it's because I'm roughly doing the same thing everyday.
However, just because I'm doing similar things each day
doesn't mean that it's stale.
Now this is where the sprinkle of novelty comes in.
I used to think that novelty had to be drastic.
Like, "Oh God, we gotta travel somewhere.
"We got to do like a class that we've never done."
I thought it had to be like that
but now I'm realizing novelty can be something very simple,
like instead of meditating on the bed,
I might meditate
like outside
or instead of eating the same thing for breakfast,
I will try a new recipe.
It's simple as that
and these little sprinkles of newness
really spice up your life.
I find that it's really rewarding for me,
and this actually feels like a sustainable way to live
because if you're constantly trying to chase novelty
through drastic measures,
there's gonna be a time where it just kind of putters out.
So being able to remix something in your life
that is quite ordinary but essential,
is the way that I've been enjoying to live.
During this time, we really have to be creative
on how we want to find motivation and find that spark
but it's honestly a muscle.
The more you seek out how you're gonna entertain yourself,
the better you become at it.
And the third thing that I learned
is the fact that I am more of an introvert
than I thought I was.
Growing up, I was definitely an introvert.
I was super shy
and then when I was
like 16 or 17,
I started to become more extroverted
even though it took everything out of me.
I feel like I've always flickered back and forth,
but this time has just confirmed to me
the fact that I am an introvert.
I feel like RuPaul's are the best.
I am an introvert masquerading as an extrovert.
If I am at a social gathering I'll pull it together
and talk to everybody and do what I can.
But when I come home, I'm just totally completely drained.
It's been nice to be at full battery all the time.
So the second question is,
"How did you change your habit of rushing to get things done
"to enjoying the process instead?"
I am still learning how to do this.
I've seen improvements which I am happy about,
but it's definitely a learning curve.
During this time, I have definitely slowed down
and I catch myself when I'm rushing to do something.
Like with work especially, I am extremely manic.
If there is something that needs to get done,
I have to do everything in my power to get it done
because it's just this like wall of anxiety
that just fills me up
and the only way to release it is by finishing
and completing the task.
But I realized that not everything
needs to be so goddamn urgent all the time.
If everything is urgent to you
then how are you gonna prioritize
what is actually urgent and important?
I think my habit of rushing definitely comes
from the fact that I can be quite impatient and impulsive.
There are a lot of decisions and projects that will happen
in your life that are gonna require you to take some time
to think about and simmer.
Not everything has to be so immediate.
Life isn't all about instant gratification.
There's a lot of delay in it
and so you have to accept that lag
and be disciplined about finishing things
when they're important and relying on yourself.
But there's no need to have this constant worry
and this feeling of being overwhelmed.
I realized that this is a very specific question
because not everyone's like this, but if anyone is like me,
please know that you're not alone in this feeling.
"How do you find motivation to keep working so hard
"and staying positive now?"
It is one of my jobs to make sure
that I am seeking out my own motivation.
No one is going to serve you motivation
on a platter every single day.
So it is your duty and your diligence to find media
that really speaks to your soul,
that lights a fire in your butt.
I mean if you have a mentor, that is freaking clutch,
but if you don't have a mentor such as myself,
I really rely on books, podcasts,
even like videos
and I'll just take notes and try to absorb what I can.
If there's someone that I look up to,
I will look at every type of media that they've posted
and learn from there
and that's a huge benefit that the internet has to offer.
It is like a well of knowledge
and obviously you have to absorb it
with a critical eye in mind.
But there's a lot of resources out there,
but it's your job to go out and catch them.
I also think that goals are important
but it's more about creating a system that works for you.
A goal is necessary because it sets you off in a direction.
However, a system that works for you
is gonna be the way you're gonna see progress.
And let's say you have a goal of reading more,
just hoping that you're gonna read more
isn't gonna be the thing that puts you over the edge.
Hope is not a strategy but it's but a concrete system will.
So it can be as simple as like,
"All right, at five o'clock after I finish my work,
"I'm gonna read three chapters of this book
"in the dining room."
And just committing to that is gonna be able
to make you have more tangible progress
and it'll also keep you more accountable.
So with all my goals, I make sure that I break it down
and I have a system on how I'm gonna complete it.
Keeping track of it is really helpful as well
because when you are keeping track of your progress,
you're able to look back
and it's like having receipts for yourself.
You're like, "Oh my gosh!
"Wait, I've done this for a full week
"and I see some actual progress,"
and seeing progress is how you build up momentum.
For my eyeliner, I'm using this pen by Clio
and I'm just gonna do a little,
I'm gonna try that fox eye trend.
I did this makeup for the Revolve Awards in November.
This has been around for a long time.
I don't know why the only example
I'm thinking of is Melissa Marie.
So to wrap up this question,
what I'm trying to say is I seek out my own motivation,
then I will have some goals
that I'll write down and then from those goals,
I will write out specific and detailed and realistic plans
on how I'm gonna achieve them
by adding them into my calendar.
And I know it might seem overwhelming, but you know what?
Nothing that is
easy is gonna be that rewarding.
All the things that you've worked hard in
and have invested your time
and your energy into,
those are the things that are gonna be most fruitful.
I don't know what to tell you
other than you gotta just start now
and I know it sounds hard, but life is hard
and if it was easy then everyone would be doing it.
"Have you been going to therapy since the pandemic hit?"
Yes, I have.
I've been doing a teletherapy
so we do it through the webcam.
It's just with my long standing therapist
that I've been with for several years.
I like to do therapy at least once a month
and on top of everything,
I have been making it a point to journal even more.
Another one of my resolutions for this year
was to journal more,
but I didn't expect to journal everyday, which I do now
and it's been such a great way to catalog
and organize my thoughts and feelings.
I think the act of just checking in on myself more
has absolutely helped with my mental health.
But there are some mornings where I just wake up
and I'm just feeling just extra prickly and irritable
for no particular reason.
And I think historically in the past,
I would kind of interrogate myself being like,
"Why are you feeling this way?
"There's no real reason why you should feel this way.
"Look at what you have,
"you don't deserve to feel like this."
But honestly that negative energy is not helpful
at letting a negative mood pass.
A lot of the times when you feel this negative emotion,
you just have to feel it
and sit with the discomfort.
But it basically just means to not question it
and to just kind of actually sit with it
like now when this happens, I'll just take a moment
to go on my Calm app and then I'll do 10 minutes of it
or I'll start journaling.
But if I notice that my tone is too harsh,
I just don't even journal.
I don't even want that out there.
I just kind of sit with it and I just let it pass
and I really, really focus on my breathing.
When we feel these big emotions,
it honestly feels like eternity.
Whenever I felt these emotions,
I felt like it would just last forever.
I don't know why my mind always turns to that,
but it's a complete lie.
Every big emotions that we've had,
it will eventually pass through time
and questioning it too much or beating yourself up over it,
it just extends that process more.
I've really tried my best to not react to it.
It's almost like the more you touch it and prod it,
it kind of flares up more
and sometimes you just need some time to let it pass
and that's where patience also comes in.
You can't rush through emotions.
So this is my highlighter.
I'm using this one by Lancome.
"What did you think you couldn't survive without lockdown,
"but you actually don't even miss?"
I don't really miss going out, which is crazy.
I feel like it was such a big part of my identity
and I thought that I just needed it, but I'm actually okay.
I don't have this itch to go
to a bar or a club or a festival.
I'm just like, "This is pretty chill, I can manage this."
But who knows?
I don't know how I'd feel at the end of the year, we'll see.
Feel like I've finally come to a place
where I enjoy my evenings
and it's a combination of reading books,
doing my MasterClass, watching a film
and then also writing my own analysis about the film.
A lot of the activities I'm doing,
I require more mental energy.
So I realized that I didn't bring a lip color.
So what I'm gonna try and do is
I'm gonna get this color over here, Sheliya,
and I'm gonna just pop it on my lips and see what that does.
That actually did something, guys.
Look, color.
All right guys, that is it.
This is the finished look.
Thank you for submitting your questions
and I hope you enjoyed this or learned something.
I know it was a lot about mental health and motivation
and strategy, but these are themes I like to talk about.
So I hope you guys enjoyed
and I hope you guys are doing well.
Thank you for watching, bye.
(gentle music)