-Welcome back, everybody.
We are hanging out with Tiffany Haddish!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Her new show, "The Afterparty,"
premieres this Friday on Apple TV+.
The show takes place on the night of a high school reunion.
Have you ever gone back to your high school reunion?
Or gone to one? -Oh, definitely.
I've been to my high school reunions.
This is how you know you made it, Jimmy.
They schedule the reunions around my schedule.
[ Laughter and applause ]
They call, they like, "Tiffany, you coming to the reunion?"
I'm like, "When is it? When is it?"
They're like, "When are you available?"
I'm like, "She made it, she ready.
Okay, so here are my days."
We even had one of the reunions, our 15th reunion,
the year 15, we had it at the comedy club.
I was like, "Ooh, that night, I got to do a show."
They was like, "Where's the show at?"
I was like, "Flappers in Burbank."
They were like, "That's where the reunion will be."
-No way. So you got to see everyone
from your high school in the crowd?
-Yeah, every -- It was everybody from high school.
So it kind of turned into like an impromptu roast.
-Yeah, exactly. [ Laughter ]
-So, it was good. -I've done that too.
I remember doing stand-up,
and my principal came to see me do stand-up.
And he was like, "Hi, you remember me?" or whatever.
I go, "Oh, my -- Yeah." And then I was like,
"I don't have any material to make fun of you, but I will."
-You didn't make fun of the principal?
-I couldn't -- I couldn't --
I didn't have material about the pr-- He liked me.
He was a great -- I was, like, the kid in school that I --
If I would get in trouble
and then the principal would be like, "What did you do?"
I'd go, "I made a joke or something."
He was like, "Ah, do you want to go to detention?"
I go, "Sure." [ Laughter ]
Yeah, we just had a deal. We had an understanding.
I was hanging out in the office.
And I would go to the principal's office
and just say, "What's up?" and hang out.
-My principal at -- Let me tell you something.
When I was in school, I used to get sent
to the principal's office often.
But see, I was a businesswoman.
[ Laughter ]
And one day I got sent to the principal's office
because I decided to quit being the mascot,
and they needed me back on the field
'cause the numbers was dropping low.
The morale was dropping low.
And so we had negotiated a deal, because I would throw out candy
and I would get the candy from my home girl
who worked at the 99-cent store, right?
And she owed me some favors
'cause I would babysit or whatever.
But anyways, I told him, "Look,
I can't get back on the field
unless I get paid, because I need a boyfriend.
I don't have no boyfriend. I need to get my hair done
and my nails done so I can get a boyfriend."
And then he was like, "I can't pay you to be a mascot."
I said, "Well, look, we got to figure out something."
So by the time we finished negotiating, you know,
I was making about, you know, $50 to $100 a game.
-See, that's what I'm talking about.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You were the mascot of the team?
What was the mascot?
What was it?
-Oh, it was a conquistador.
I was a Spanish soldier, darling, full garb.
-Wow, wow, the conquistador.
And you had to wear a full costume and everything?
-Yeah, I wore the full costume, but I did not wear the head
'cause the head -- it was an old costume.
You know, the school was built in the '50s.
I graduated in the 1990s -- 1900s.
Anyways. [ Laughter ]
The head was not a good smell, so I didn't wear the head.
It was full costume but my head.
And I was the only talking mascot in the Valley.
I'd be like, "El Ca-- What?!
And everyone would be like, "Mino!"
I went to El Camino Real.
"El Ca-- What?" "Mino!"
"Who know? We know! Baby!"
[ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ]
-That's how you do it.
I want to talk about "The Afterparty."
It's on this Friday, Apple TV+.
How do we set it up for everybody? What do we say?
-So, if you love to play the game "Clue," right?
Remember the game "Clue"? -Of course, love it.
-So it's a mystery show,
and every episode is a different genre of TV and movie.
So the first episode is the rom-com.
And another episode is a thriller or action.
And, you know, it's just fun.
It's just a really fun show. Show them the clip.
Show them the clip. -Yeah, here we go.
I want to show the clip.
Here's Tiffany Haddish in "The Afterparty."
Take a look at this.
-Culp, good. I need somebody to --
-Captain called me. -Really?
I didn't know you guys were friends.
-Oh, we're not.
He just wanted me to hear it directly from him
that this is not our case.
He only wanted us to collect witness statements
until Jermaine got here.
-Okay, so that is basically what he said to me as well,
but look, I can crack this thing, okay?
-You lied to me. -You're being dramatic.
-Do not call me dramatic!
-It's cool. Look, if I don't solve this case,
I promise you I will take the rap.
I will not let any harm come to you.
But this ringer guy that's coming, I know him.
And he will...this up.
Now, I'm not asking you to help me.
I'm just asking you to not not help me, okay?
-Yeah, "I'm just asking you to not, not."
Tiffany Haddish, everybody. -"Not, not help me."
-"The Afterparty" premieres Friday on Apple TV+.
We love you, bud.