Wario?
Come and face me like a man.
Wario?! Quit playing around... Wario? Wario!
WARIOOOOOO!
Thank Fu…
Peach!
I’ve rescued you!
You’re finally safe!
W-Wario…?
Where’s Mario?
He must have been beaten by Bowser!
I am the hero now!
Come!
We can escape, together!
I…
Uh…
I should probably wait for Mario.
But I…
I…
I rescued you?
And I’m so so grateful!
So can’t we at least go out for dinner or something?
You’re not really my type, Wario.
But I thought that -
It’s a me!
Let’sa go!
Uhhhh, Mario!
So buff…
No no no no no-
Ah, Wario, my old friend.
So close, but so far.
Every inch is a mile, and every –
Jesus Wario!
What have you done to yourself?!
I- I don’t want any trouble, dude.
Peach is down the hallway.
Pretend you didn’t see me.
Peach!
I have saved you!
And take a look, you like what you see eh?
We can finally be together!
Wario?
What are you talking about?
I’m ripped now.
I’m athletic like Mario.
Oh…
I er…
I see…
So!
Dinner?
I know a great smoothie place.
Wario this is kind of awkward but –
You don’t like smoothies?
No, it’s not that.
Is there someone else?
No.
So what is it?
Am I not buff enough still because,
I can go bigger if you…
God no!
Please.
Look Wario,
I didn’t want to not be with you because you were out of shape.
You Didn’t?
Ah, I could have sworn…
Wait what was it then?
You don’t like yellow because I could…
No.
My moustache?!
No.
So what?!
What could it be?
What’s a so wrong with me that you won’t even give me a chance eh?
I once saw you drink shampoo.
Your breath smells like farts and your farts smell like onions.
You’re weird, Wario.
But I- I-
Daisy said you once stole a pair of her underwear.
Are you a pervert?
No!
So why’d you take them?
Me and Waluigi were doing an experiment.
You're a star!
Oh yeah!
Oh my hero!
Oh yeah!
More tea?
Oh yeah!
Sorry, Wario.
I haven’t had a carb in 4 years.
Ooo! Oowee!
I have to go! Weeee!
Sonnova…
grrr
Tough luck, buddy.
You know, all that killing?
You must be hungry.
I’m on a diet.
Not anymore, you’re not.