[MUSIC - EANAN PATTERSON, "THE FLOG THEME"]
FELICIA DAY: Hey, everybody.
It's Monday, it's Felicia Day, it's "The Flog,"
let's do this thing.
I've had five cups of coffee, I could tear
the ears off a gundark.
That's a "Star Wars" reference.
[LAUGHS].
Like this video.
I'm caffeinated.
In this week's segment, we travel back in time to meet
the man who invented the sandwich.
That would be true if--
A, time travel existed, or B, we had the budget
to do such a thing.
Mostly B. Actually, instead, we're going to go to Baron's
Hats and meet the master hatter of Hollywood--
after we get this "Trio Mio" thing done.
Number one this week is called "Squatty Potty." Yes, we here
at "Geek and Sundry" care about your colon's health.
Squatty Potty is a specially designed stool that you're
supposed to use while you use the toilet.
Its purpose is to help you assume the position that's
more natural for humans to do number two.
OK, laugh if you will, but you know what's funnier?
Watching you buy the butt cream at the drugstore.
Yes, I'm behind you, yes, I'm watching what you buy, and
yes, I'm laughing at you.
I'm stalking you.
You specifically.
squattypotty.com.
Next on our list is an iOS game called "Plague Inc." It's
a strategy game where you're trying to spread plague across
the world and attempt to wipe out the human race.
If you can get over the guilt of, you know, being a mass
murderer, it's actually quite fun.
You can design your disease and manage it, allowing it to
evolve as well as picking where it spreads.
Yes, it's slightly depressing, but think how big the pandas
and the stingrays are going to grow without us here.
And number three is a webcomic called "God Hates Astronauts."
All right, let's pause for a second.
Listen up here-- open your ears, people--
this webcomic is awesome.
It follows a team of superheroes called "Power
Persons Five" and the first issue opens up with this huge
brawl in a boxing ring with bears.
Yes.
Also on the inside cover is a list of voice-over people for
each of the characters, and you could totally hear those
people in your head when you're reading.
Clearly, I'm a really big fan.
So check it out, godhatesastronauts.com.
All right, let's do that hat thing.
Let's go.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi, I am here at Baron Hats with Mark, the master--
do you have a-- is it--
MARK MEJIA: "Master hatter" is what they call me.
I'm a hatter by trade, but I'm also a milliner, because I
make women's hats as well.
FELICIA DAY: So this is one of the most amazing stores I've
ever been in, because there are a lot of movie projects
that you work on.
MARK MEJIA: This is a hat we made for Johnny Depp in a
movie called "Public Enemies." I'm sure you've
heard of that one.
FELICIA DAY: Uh, yeah.
MARK MEJIA: Little bit?
FELICIA DAY: Little bit.
MARK MEJIA: This is the actual hat that was used by Sylvester
Stallone in "Rocky Balboa," the last trilogy.
FELICIA DAY: Oh my god, did you make that?
MARK MEJIA: Yeah.
Yeah, that's-- we made that.
We have one, Sylvester's got one, and the
Smithsonian's got one.
FELICIA DAY: Oh my god.
MARK MEJIA: And that's the last three of those.
FELICIA DAY: For some reason, this is the most eye catching
to me, personally.
MARK MEJIA: For Elton John, this is--
they call it the famous duck hat.
He had this duck outfit on that he wore.
FELICIA DAY: Let's just talk about how Elton John
sweat in this hat.
MARK MEJIA: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: I mean, I--
[SNIFFS].
It smells good.
It smells floral.
MARK MEJIA: Well, this is a very special device.
This is called a conformature and it was built in the 1800s.
We'll get it going right now, like this.
FELICIA DAY: And you're going to put that on my head?
Oh god.
MARK MEJIA: OK, easy, easy, easy.
FELICIA DAY: It's like my head's in jail.
Am I gonna die now?
MARK MEJIA: No, no, no.
Now we're going to take an impression of your head.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, OK.
I'm really nervous and sweating right now.
MARK MEJIA: OK, hang on.
Here we go.
OK, now let's get it off.
Good, good, good.
OK.
FELICIA DAY: I'm really sweating.
MARK MEJIA: Now what happens is we come over here.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
MARK MEJIA: This is the front.
FELICIA DAY: It's a little bit like an iron
maiden, but in reverse.
MARK MEJIA: Yes.
This is going to give us your shape, OK?
Just take these little fingers here and we're just going to
put them up like this, you see?
FELICIA DAY: That's so weird.
MARK MEJIA: More like this, right?
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
MARK MEJIA: And that's your head.
FELICIA DAY: All right.
Yeah.
Look at that.
So there is a problem here.
Well, um, I would say, at this point, let's go make a hat.
MARK MEJIA: Let's go.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
MARK MEJIA: So we're going to look at the blocks here and
we're going to pick which shape you want to use.
You can pick whatever you like.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
MARK MEJIA: If you want to pick one--
FELICIA DAY: So these are-- we're making a top hat.
MARK MEJIA: Yes.
FELICIA DAY: OK, so I like this one.
Let's work with that one.
MARK MEJIA: All right.
FELICIA DAY: It's more delicate.
MARK MEJIA: Now we've selected a block.
The next thing we have to do is you can actually select the
color of felt we're going to use.
This is a hat body.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
MARK MEJIA: And this is made out of rabbit.
FELICIA DAY: This is not-- oh, this is rabbit?
MARK MEJIA: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: This is the default, like--
MARK MEJIA: Sure.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, so we're going to
use this actual semi-hat--
MARK MEJIA: Absolutely.
FELICIA DAY: -- to make a top hat.
Oh, that's weird.
MARK MEJIA: Correct.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
I really like that green.
You know, when I create--
I play a lot of video games.
MARK MEJIA: Yes.
FELICIA DAY: And when I create my character and my hair color
and my eye color, it takes about three hours.
MARK MEJIA: So off we go to do the body.
FELICIA DAY: OK, let's go.
Whoa.
MARK MEJIA: Let's hit it with steam.
FELICIA DAY: Wow.
This is no joke, man.
This is no flowers and sunshine.
Whoa.
I'm gonna do this?
MARK MEJIA: You're gonna do this.
You're up for it, right?
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, no, I'm gonna do it.
MARK MEJIA: You want to maybe test it first, so--
FELICIA DAY: OK.
MARK MEJIA: Here, let me move--
FELICIA DAY: Oh god.
OK.
MARK MEJIA: Try putting it on.
FELICIA DAY: OK, I go right here.
MARK MEJIA: Yeah, there you go.
OK, now back off of it.
FELICIA DAY: It's like I'm smothering something.
MARK MEJIA: Get your pedal.
There you go, there you go.
FELICIA DAY: OK, great.
Is that good?
MARK MEJIA: Now you take it off.
Now you start pushing it onto the form.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, it's hot.
MARK MEJIA: Yeah.
Stretch it out, stretch it.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, it's hot, it's hot.
MARK MEJIA: Stretch it.
FELICIA DAY: Is it good?
MARK MEJIA: Boy, yeah, yes.
FELICIA DAY: I need more muscles.
MARK MEJIA: OK, need more steam now.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
MARK MEJIA: You're going to put that back on there.
FELICIA DAY: Tell me what you know.
OK.
MARK MEJIA: Blast off.
FELICIA DAY: Now do I take it off?
MARK MEJIA: Take it off, take it off.
Pull it off.
It's still hot.
FELICIA DAY: Oh god.
OK.
MARK MEJIA: Now get it on the--
FELICIA DAY: There?
MARK MEJIA: There.
Shape it on there.
FELICIA DAY: Get on there.
This is crazy.
Hat banana.
Oh look, it slipped, it slipped, it slipped.
MARK MEJIA: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
FELICIA DAY: OK, it's coming down.
Look.
OK, good, it's getting flatter.
Oh my gosh.
[GRUNTING].
Oh god.
I think that this is as-- that's flat enough, yes?
That's flat enough.
Yeah.
So what's next?
MARK MEJIA: Turn it upside down.
FELICIA DAY: OK, so I turn mine upside down.
MARK MEJIA: OK, now we're going to take our block out.
FELICIA DAY: This is no joke, Mark.
MARK MEJIA: Yeah, that's a real iron.
FELICIA DAY: This is no-- no, this is not.
This is like a super, turbo iron.
Ah, OK.
This is sharp.
Do you sharpen this at night?
MARK MEJIA: [LAUGHS].
Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
MARK MEJIA: There you go.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
They had children do this back then, right?
MARK MEJIA: Yeah, sure.
FELICIA DAY: Like, 10 year olds.
MARK MEJIA: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: I'm going to steam that and then I'm going
to put it like this and like this.
MARK MEJIA: Right, right.
Then you're going to just kind of give it that nice, little,
beautiful curvature.
FELICIA DAY: Beautiful?
Like that?
MARK MEJIA: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Is that better?
MARK MEJIA: Sure, that's better.
Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
My boobs are warm.
[LAUGHTER]
MARK MEJIA: Beautiful.
Good job.
FELICIA DAY: Thank you.
Yay.
Here we are, comrades in arms.
This is my masterpiece.
What do I do now, Mark?
MARK MEJIA: Well, now we've got to go sport 'em out.
FELICIA DAY: Sport 'em out.
MARK MEJIA: Just take them and cruise.
FELICIA DAY: OK, let's cruise.
Yeah, not a bad high five.
Yeah.
And here it is, the hat that I made, imperfections and all.
But we are auctioning this off for charity.
It's a rabbit rescue charity, because I found out this is
made from rabbit fur, so.
Hey, support the rabbits.
And our question of note this week comes from Kenny, who
asks, "If you were to have angel wings, what
color would they be?
Plain white, black like a fallen angel, blood red like a
Valkyrie, or hentai style?"
Dear Kenny, first of all, hentai is not a color.
I mean, I guess it could be, if you were--
OK, never mind.
If I was going to have angel wings, I would want them to
have vibrancy in color.
That's why my wings will be orange.
According to a color therapy chart, orange is the color of
warmth, happiness, creativity, and jubilance.
I would fly through the air, wings spread gloriously in the
morning sun, filling onlookers with slap happy amounts of
joy, peace, and wonderment.
I would also be able to spew jets of angry hot fire from my
fingertips, capable of melting solid granite in seconds.
I know that's not very angelic, but whatever.
You gave me hentai as an option, so
I'm going with fire.
Lots and lots of fire.
[DEMONIC LAUGHTER]
FELICIA DAY: Joyously, Felicia Day.
All right, that's our show, thanks for watching.
And tomorrow night on "Hangouts at 8:00," we have
"#parent," which is geeky parents talking about geeky
parenting things.
It's a really amazing thing, so watch it.
8:00 PM, Pacific.
I will see you guys next week.
Bye.
[RAGTIME MUSIC PLAYING]