[LGR Theme plays]
[fizz, sip]
Aahhh!
[typing]
Indiana Jones.
Will you ever do anything that isn't completely awesome?
Oh...
Uh, will there ever be an awesome PC game made out of you?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Will Apogee make yet another game that rips you and your name off?
Oh, of course.
Yes, this is yet another Apogee game that takes the parody route
in lieu of actually doing something original.
Although, I guess you could argue that parody is original.
After all, outright copying is considered the best flattery
and can sometimes be considered genius when done properly.
If that's the case, then Paganizu is freakin' Einstein,
because it so directly rips off Indiana Jones
that it is absurd.
But nobody's complaining because Paganitzu is awesome.
Paganitzu was released in 1991 by Apogee Software
and was designed by Keith Schuler.
This is actually the second game of his that I've reviewed recently,
the other being Realms of Chaos,
which was the planned sequel to Paganitzu.
However, Paganitzu is nothing like Realms.
Keith Schuler started designing games as a teenager,
and the first to really get a little recognition was Castle Zhagwhar,
Zag-whar...
made in 1987.
It was a platform game for the Tandy TRS-80 Color Computer
in the vein of games like Jumpman or even a little bit of Lode Runner.
It is somewhat a predecessor to the later games, but not quite.
It's a straightforward platform game,
whereas the later games are straightforward puzzle games.
Consider it a stepping stone.
A very lime green-colored stepping stone.
After the game got published in a magazine in '89,
Schuler started working on Chagunitzu,
which was published by Softdisk in 1990.
At first, it looks like a platform game,
but really it's a top-down tile-based puzzle game
very similar to games like Sokoban and Chip's Challenge.
There are no physics, just things to move around and avoid
by walking around spaced tiles.
The main character is Alabama Smith,
an adventure-seeking archaeologist in search of...
Okay, really, do I need to say any more?
It's an unofficial Indiana Jones game.
This was followed up by Paganitzu.
It featured the same protagonist, the same types of levels,
many of the same enemies and sprites from Chagunitzu.
It's a direct sequel,
but you don't need to play Chagun in order to play Pagan.
Megan, Dagan, Carl Sagan.
In typical Apogee form,
Paganitzu was released in a single-episode shareware game,
Romancing the Stone– uh, Romancing the Rose,
but with two more episodes available for purchase:
The Silver Dagger and Jewel of the Nile–
er, Yucatan.
Yeah, the pop culture references really don't stop, but I digress.
My copy here is the retail release by FormGen
on CD-ROM.
This was another one of those that was uselessly released on CD.
I mean, the entire installation could fit on a single 1.2 MB floppy disk,
yet here it is on CD.
Just because you COULD put it on a CD-ROM doesn't mean you have to, guys.
The idea of the game is very simple:
you must lead the very sunburned Alabama Smith
through several Aztec pyramids and tombs
to get to the next level without fricking dying
or screwing up the puzzles you have to solve along the way.
Again, it's not really a platform game,
but instead you move around in spaces on the screen,
sort of an imaginary grid,
avoiding obstacles and solving puzzles.
Playing Paganitzu, more often than not,
is like dating an intelligent, independent woman.
It ends up being more of a test of the mind
rather than just how good you are with your fingers.
That is, it's a set of puzzles meant to confuse you,
rather than just another average action experience.
If you figure out how to play the game properly,
it can be a lot more enjoyable in the long run,
rather than a simple finger-dexterity challenge.
Now sure, you have sections where you'll need to time something properly,
but it's not like you're outrunning any giant boulders.
Something I find odd is Alabama Smith himself.
What's with his hands?
Is he running around sticking his thumbs up all the time?
Why are his arms directly out in front of him?
Maybe he's a zombie. That might explain the harsh skin tone.
Eh, whatever.
The puzzles themselves start off being quite simple,
but quickly gain difficulty after several levels.
Well, I mean of course they get harder.
If they got easier, I'd be worried.
Each puzzle is rather unique and challenging
and you even get little hidden bonuses,
like this Guns N' Roses reference.
Oh, I see what they did there.
Clever.
I really am reminded a whole lot of Chip's Challenge in the gameplay.
The fact that you have enemies that move in patterns,
keys to open the ending door,
extra points to go for and, of course,
the grid system of movement.
It really is all about precision, so using a keyboard works great.
Although you can use a joystick, if you'd like.
However, the game was made for AT-class computers.
So if you use a joystick on a 386 or higher,
you run into a very strange problem with the game.
There are something like 20 levels to each of the three episodes,
and there's even four warp levels in the game
which take you to secret levels taken from Chagunitzu.
And the first time around,
you will probably be trying quite a few things to solve some of the puzzles.
They're not all very straightforward,
so there's no shortage of gameplay.
The full version of the game does come with a nice little on-disk hint guide, too,
so you'll probably want to read it.
Plus, there are quite a few different ways to play the game.
You can go for 100%, get all the items,
you can go for speed and just get all the needed keys and get out of there,
or you can play like me: walk around like an idiot,
not knowing what the heck you're doing and just trying not to die,
usually failing.
Yes, you will die. A whole lot.
Snakes shoot fire at you.
Spiders chop your head off.
And the levels themselves will just screw you over.
By making you screw yourself.
Much like Pharaoh's Tomb, it is very possible to make a mistake
and make the level unsolvable.
This sucks!
But you can commit hara-kiri
by pressing F6 to restart the level,
or if you've saved it at the right spot, you can just reload the game.
Something I find really lacking is the sound.
The graphics look great for EGA, but it needs nice sound to go along with it.
AdLib and even Sound Blaster cards were very established options
for PC sound by 1991,
yet there's nothing but the PC speaker.
And it's very minimal at that.
So if you're playing on a PC with a very loud speaker
you're in for some grating, constant noise.
It's much worse on DOSBox, too.
You can turn it off, but that's no fun, either.
You may as well just... go outside or something.
Of course, I guess it's either no sound or being ear-raped
by what sounds like an IBM steampunk heart monitor.
Paganitzu is basically fun.
It's got a nice number of puzzles,
nice graphics,
awesome controls,
and even an enjoyable story, if you want to pay attention to it.
But it is not for action freaks.
No, it's no Pitfall or Duke Nukem.
It's always seemed kind of odd to me
that many of these Indiana Jones- type games were puzzle games,
when the movies were all about action and suspense.
But, no, if you want to play Paganitzu,
you need to be in the right mindset.
And that mindset is one of pure nostalgia.
It is a good game, but it could get annoying
if you're not dead-set on beating it.
It's not a quick arcade shooter.
It's not a simple puzzle game, either.
It's an interesting mix of stuff
and it's an interesting game.
Paganitzu.
Vintage tile-based puzzler at your service
since 1991.