Oh!
So sorry I'm not Emma Stone.
Now listen.
It's been on my mind for some time.
I have to explain.
I hate to disappoint this early on in the proceedings.
It's OK.
We're going to stop now.
I stayed out until 7:30 last night.
So I'm tired.
I may not be able to even ask you questions properly.
No, it's fine.
But I know that you're a Dame.
Yes.
And congratulations on that, that you're a Dame.
I've always thought of you as a Dame.
You've always been a Dame to me.
It's kind of sad, though, isn't it?
Because when guys get this thing, they're called Sir.
Sir whoever it is.
Right.
And Dame is different, isn't it?
It's kind of, here's the Dame.
Well, OK.
Yeah.
It could be anyone.
She probably drinks.
Yeah.
You know, you don't go, wow, this person
must be someone of--
whose-- I don't know.
Although it could be worse.
It could be broad.
If you were like broad Emma Thompson.
Yeah, that's better than Dame Broad.
Yeah.
Absolutely
Not even Dame, just Broad.
Just Broad.
Yeah.
Now, Dame is a really-- it's a big honor.
Because there aren't that many of them.
Right?
And then Prince William gave you--
what do you get, like a crown?
You get a big old badge.
In fact, you get two badges.
Oh, two?
And I was wearing--
actually, I was wearing exactly those shoes.
Exactly those shoes.
I know.
I saw a picture of you.
And they gave me such hell.
Did Stella McCartney?
Yeah, I was wearing those with a suit.
And then he had to pin it on and--
stand up.
All righty.
OK, so I'm him.
And you're me.
I'm so nervous.
Yeah.
You're him?
Yes, I am.
I'm much taller.
So nice to meet you.
And then-- yes, and you have to curtsy--
and then he pins it right there.
Oh, god.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And it's a little bit of a nipple moment.
Yeah.
And you go, gosh, I wasn't expecting that.
And then he pins another one underneath.
So I'm pretty low slung these days.
So both times, it hurt, you know?
And did you go, wow.
Did you make a big thing of it?
You should have--
Yeah, I made a very loud and inappropriate noise
in Buckingham Palace.
It's not a surprise, is it?
You did.
And now, when are you turning 60?
Soon, right?
Monday.
I love those pants.
You're turning 60 Monday?
Mhm.
What is that like for you?
Do you like it?
Well, yeah.
It's difficult, isn't it?
Well, you know what?
I think it's interesting.
Because you had your 60th, didn't you?
Last year.
And you invited, like, a million people.
Yes.
So I'm going out with two people for supper.
But the person I'm going out with I've known since I was 16.
And we did our first comedy sketch together.
Wow.
Yeah, all those years ago.
I'll tell you what I think is interesting about 60.
And I don't know whether you've had the same thing.
But all the roles that have been imposed upon you by society
since you were born--
you know, from gender roles to mom, whatever they are--
start to sort of fray at the edges, you know.
Because parents die and kids move on.
And you start to think, I wonder if I was any of those things,
actually, or whether I was just sort of playing along.
So I think it's a very interesting time
to ask that question that I have never really asked,
because I always thought it was a bit lame, which
is who am I, actually?
Yeah.
And I think that's a very interesting time.
Yeah.
So this decade, I think, is going to be fascinating.
Yeah, I think it's important to ask yourself, who am I always.
I think, you know, because you change.
You change when you're 20, who am I?
Who are you when you're 30.
But yeah, I'm listening, actually,
to a podcast that Oprah did with Eckhart Tolle.
Oh, wow.
And it's talking about roles we play and roles we take on.
And we just cling to those roles.
It's very interesting.
Oh, I must--
Yeah, you should listen to it.
But when you ask yourself, who am I,
you could realize you're Emma Stone, which
would be interesting.
Yeah.
What would that be like?
Because you said you've been thinking about it for a while
anyway.
Well, absolutely.
And she's just done a very good English accent.
Yes.
Maybe she's going to have me killed and just sort of carry
on.
Yes, I don't know why you're jumping to that conclusion.
I don't know.
Something murderous rose in me.
You look fantastic.
And it is a good time in life.
It's a very good time.
Yeah.
Before we go to break, should I give her the--
OK, this is exciting.
So you became a dame, which of course is a big deal.
Right.
But we are doing something for you
that we've never done for anyone here.
Yeah, I'm so worried.
Now I know.
Because I know you.
I know you.
Last time I was on here, I was pole dancing.
I know you.
That was your choice.
I know you.
I know.
And she's a liar.
She lies.
You had asked for pole dancing.
But today, in celebration of your 60th birthday,
we are dedicating--
oh, this is exciting-- it's the Dame Edna--
Dame--
Yeah.
Emma, Emma.
Thompson.
So not Edna.
Out till 7:30.
Oh, my god.
And what were you actually doing?
Were you in a crack den till 7:30?
Yes.
God.
OK, well, that's fine then.
All right.
Dame Emma Thompson Loo.
Look at the-- it's in the bathroom.
And that will stay there forever.