How much are you sacrificing for your success?
Today I'm going to show you how sacrificing for success usually isn't even
necessary.
How it can actually prevent you from succeeding and what you can do about it.
Keep watching
[inaudible].
This is life mastery gym. I'm Damon Cart and I teach people just like you,
processes and techniques to live a more fulfilling life and to take charge of
your destiny. So if that sounds good to you,
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What if I told you that you could achieve what you want without having to
sacrifice for it what you believe in? For years,
I struggled with this. For years,
I sacrificed and sacrificed to achieve what I wanted.
And not only did it not help me get what I wanted,
it actually seemed to push it further and further away. Well,
that is until I discovered what the problem was and how to overcome it.
So by the end of this video,
I'm going to show you how to succeed with little or no sacrifice at all.
Make sure you watch the entire video because I'm also going to show you how to
take this even deeper with some free training.
Most people go about achieving goals all wrong. Put it this way.
If you're experiencing pain and while you're in the process of achieving a goal
and you feel like you're having to make a lot of sacrifices,
this is a good sign that something isn't right and you should ask yourself what
is the point of pursuing a goal?
If you're going to spend more time being in pain and making sacrifices,
then you will actually enjoying the success. First,
I'm going to tell you a story that really illustrates my point about the problem
with sacrificing for success, but before I do that,
I would like to hear from you if you've sacrificed for a success and then when
you achieved it, you felt like it wasn't worth it.
Type yes in the comments below. I arrived in Los Angeles,
California with lots of hopes and dreams of becoming a filmmaker.
What I like to tell people is I didn't even step out the front door when it came
to creating a film career. I was spending more time just surviving.
Living in La was expensive to live there.
I had to work a lot more to to pay the bills and to pay the rent.
And what ended up eventually happening was I got married and right away we
started having kids and that created a lot of anxiety in me.
And I had met a lot of people in la who were still chasing the dream and they
were much older like sixties seventies even eighties and they were still
thinking that at some point they were going to turn that corner and they were
going to get their big break and it was all going to happen.
And I thought I got asked to do something.
I have to do something better than this.
I need to take care of these babies and to my family and provide for them.
And so I decided to let go of that dream. Now at the same time,
I still wanted to eventually get back to the things that I enjoy doing,
my passions and the things that I love doing.
My father still is an insurance agent and when we were getting married and
having kids,
him and my mother were able to come out and spend lots of time with us and his
employees ran the business.
So he had lots of freedom and he was making really good money. Still is.
And I thought,
I want to do that because I want to provide for my family and I want that kind
of freedom. I really want to start traveling again.
And so I'd like to have a business where I make lots of money and my employees
run it. It doesn't matter if I don't like the business that much.
It doesn't matter if I don't like insurance. I will have my freedom.
I bought into that, became an insurance agent,
moved up to um, Santa Cruz where I still live to this day,
where I'm at right now. It was 2008 it was the height of the financial crisis.
I certainly wasn't experiencing the freedom that I wanted.
The business was really tough.
I had to work sometimes up to 80 hours a week doing a business that I really did
not enjoy at all.
Eventually what happened is I fell into a depression because it seemed like
nothing was working out and I wasn't enjoying life at all.
All I was doing was working and that is around the time that I started learning,
starting my formal training in NLP, neurolinguistic programming, and using NLP.
I got very, very clear about why things weren't working,
why I was unhappy, when I was unhappy. I just blamed myself. I said, well,
I'm not working hard enough. I'm not doing well enough.
I'm not worthy or I'm not.
There's something about me that I'm not good enough to make this work. Well.
When I started learning NLP,
I started learning that a lot of those ideas were completely wrong and one of
the most important things that I learned was how to elicit my values around the
things that I wanted. And when you elicit your values,
then you get very clear about what motivates you to go for something to make
that decision to go in that direction, to want to achieve something,
what do I want? And then go really, really deep into, well,
why is it that I value that?
And what I discovered was that a lot of things were making nick miserable in my
life and one of them was my business.
And it wasn't because there was anything wrong with me.
And it wasn't because I wasn't sacrificing enough.
It wasn't because I wasn't working hard enough or I wasn't smart enough or any
of those things. My top three values are freedom, passion, and joy.
And so I was able to take that and start looking back on all the decisions that
I had made and noticing how freedom, passion,
and joy played into all of my big life decisions.
Your values are not going to be the same for everything that you want,
but when it comes to the big life stuff, a lot of times they will be the same.
And so when I looked at why I decided to become an insurance agent,
I saw that first and foremost, it was about freedom.
And when I realized or what I thought at the time was I was going to trade out
passion and joy and double down on freedom,
and I felt like if I could get my freedom,
which means financial freedom and time, then I could get,
I could go back to my passions and my joys or whatever makes me joyful or
whatever. It makes me happy. Well,
that doesn't work quite that way and it might be obvious to you now why that is.
You can't be happy if you're treating out some of your other values and only
going off of one value because I had no passion for insurance because it gave me
no joy. Well, I certainly didn't feel free, but another very,
very important thing. I wasn't going to succeed at this,
and even if I did succeed in it, what was the point?
Because it was so unenjoyable because I had no passion for it because I had no
joy in it.
It was almost as if the deeper inner wisdom within me knew better than to make
me successful at insurance because what would probably would have happened is I
would have stayed in the business because I was making money off of it and
become successful out of it, out of it, and stuck with it.
Even though I didn't like it at all and it was just this past February that I
was able to leave my insurance business behind because I didn't need it anymore.
I could have kept it around and I could have used it to make more money,
but I realized I had turned a corner in my life and that's something had really
changed and that to keep it around would take me away from passion and joy and
so in a sense would make me less free.
One of the things you probably noticed is that there was another value here and
that was security.
I was trying to provide security for my family and for a lot of people,
this creates an internal conflict there.
Value for security versus their value for freedom.
All of your decisions are based on values.
Values that you're trying to acquire. And in most cases,
for most people, these values are very unconscious.
And in like my story that I told you my values were unconscious,
I didn't understand them.
I know now what I was going for and why it didn't work because I was pursuing
freedom and security at the same time while cutting out passion and joy.
Well that just wasn't going to work. And if I'd understood this back then,
if I knew NLP back then, I would have made a very different choice.
And when I now understand what my values are,
it gives me a very clear path in which direction to go in.
And I can also elicit those values and pursue the values and make sure that
they're,
and work together for one greater vision rather than being pulled apart and
being in conflict with each other.
Because you can make decisions based in freedom that fulfilled both freedom and
security and most people and their minds. There is a split for that.
And then it's either freedom or security,
you can take all of your highest values and make decisions that fulfill all of
them.
And this will make such a huge difference in your life and when you do this,
it won't feel like sacrifice.
When you are pursuing your highest values and you're connected to them, well,
you're not really sacrificing anything.
And what I sacrificed was my passions and my joys and it crippled my success.
It didn't make me more successful. It crippled me.
When you put your values together and you proceed toward a goal or toward a
vision and then and while you're doing that,
you're fulfilling your highest values.
That won't feel like sacrifice. Now you might be thinking, well,
I have to if I want to, if I want to get healthier,
I have to stop eating certain foods that I like.
If I want to focus on a business, I have to stop playing video games. Yeah,
to a certain extent, but that doesn't,
those things aren't as interesting because you are focused on your highest
values and that's going to make you feel a lot better than seeking immediate
comforts.
The other thing you want to be careful of is associating pain to certain tasks
or actions you need to take in order to create the success that you want.
For example, I attached a lot of pain to making money.
Now you might be thinking, what? That's crazy. Why would you do that?
Making money as good, like when money's coming in, doesn't that feel good?
I associated it to jobs that I did not like and I can pretty much say that I
didn't like any of my jobs.
I had never liked being an employee and I'm not saying you should go out and
quit your job and go into business for yourself. It's not for everybody.
I knew I was never going to be happy as an employee. In fact,
the last job that I had before I started my own business was an incredible job.
I was treated so well. I was paid very well, but I wasn't really happy.
I was okay,
but I just knew that I was never going to be truly happy as an employee.
So associating pain to making money because I associated with work that I did
not like or being an employee.
Then I started my own business and making money then was also painful because I
had to do things that I wasn't really interested in. And so again,
there was this association of pain and making money.
I'm happy to make money now because I enjoy the things that I do to make money.
So be careful of that. Be careful of attaching pain to things,
to tasks that you need to do in order to be successful.
And you'd be surprised how sometimes you just need to kind of flip the situation
like I did with making money.
There was nothing painful about making money at itself.
It was what I was associating it to. So to summarize all of this,
what you want to do is as elicit what your three five highest values are.
When you know what those are,
when you're connected to those and you know what the behaviors are that
actualize those values, that that realize those values for you,
you're going to become unstoppable because you're,
what you have built in is instant motivation.
You're always going to be motivated towards your values.
Your values themselves are motivation,
so when you set a vision that are based on your three to five highest values and
the behaviors and a task and all the things that lead up to that,
you're going to enjoy that process. It's going to be motive.
It's going to be more and more motivating as you become closer and closer to
your goal and you're not going to feel like you're sacrificing anything here.
The big mistake a lot of people make is they think they have to remove all these
things.
I give them joy and pleasure out of their life in order to achieve their goals
so they feel like they're sacrificing, they it, it doesn't feel good.
They're withholding these enjoyable things from themselves in the name of
achieving this goal and say this goes on for months or even years to achieve a
goal and they're not happy in the process of achieving the goal and then they
achieve the goal and yet maybe it's maybe there you're happy for a few hours,
maybe you're even happy for a few days, but was it worth all that?
Was it worth spending months or even years not enjoying your life because you're
sacrificing, sacrificing, sacrificing to achieve some sort of success?
I wouldn't even call that success if you're not enjoying the process.
If you're not enjoying the journey,
then what is the point where your goal should be?
They should be more like landmarks are stepping stones. They do, they give you,
they help give you the, the steps,
so your vision is going to be really big and broad and your, your values are,
they tend to be vague and intangible,
so the you have to give them some sort of expression and that's what a goal or
an outcome really is.
It's an expression of the behaviors that takes,
that are in alignment with your, with your vision,
that are in alignment with your values to achieve that.
So achieving your goals should be fulfilling every step of the way.
And when you're achieving your goals are fulfilling every step of the way,
you won't feel like you're sacrificing anything. You will,
you'll really be enjoying your life.
And then every once in a while when you need to indulge the value of comfort,
which is important, we need to, we need to have comfort.
Then you go to the video games or to the fast food or whatever it is,
but you only do that randomly. You don't do that on a regular basis.
You don't do that daily or you don't do that for hours and hours a day or you
don't gorge yourself with bad food or whatever it is that you used to seek
comfort. That's just a little temporary thing.
That's just a little something you do.
And then you get back to your higher values and the joy that comes with that.
What is success?
If it's not something that's fulfilling and satisfying you every single day.
If you feel like success constantly involves trade offs,
trade offs with things that you really enjoy,
that's not really success,
and if you're still thinking that success involves pain and sacrifice,
how likely are you to succeed if that's part of the equation?
If it is part of your equation,
I can tell you right now you're probably not going to succeed at it because why
would you? It's painful,
so get clear about what your values are and let that be your guide for true
success. All right.
Now you know how to succeed painlessly and without sacrifice,
but what you don't know is how to elicit your deepest values,
the values that are driving your decisions to drive the values that when you
fulfilled them will make you feel fulfilled and satisfied.
This is why I created a four part video series to show you exactly how to do
this and you will find a link down in the description below.
You also find the same link in the comments and there's a link that's attached
to our card and this video, when you click that link,
you can get immediate access to this training and get started right now on
learning how to do this. So I'm curious about you.
What is it you would like to succeed on? What sacrifices are you making?
In order to do that, let me know in the comments below.
I will respond to you if you found this video helpful.
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And remember to get your hands on that four part video series while you're at
it. Take care.