- [Narrator] Most guys think
that if they're just nice, friendly, open-minded,
they will find an amazing girlfriend
and live happily ever after.
This is sometimes the case,
but a lot of times, this is not really the reality.
If you have this mindset,
you may never find the girl of your dreams.
So, how do you get a girlfriend?
If you want an amazing girlfriend, there are two truths
that you need to understand and eternalize.
The first truth is that you need to learn
how to love yourself.
How can you expect someone else to love you unconditionally
if you can't even love yourself?
High quality women want a guy who's comfortable and happy
being in his own shoes.
Stephen Covey talks about this concept
in his book called 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
If you are codependent on your partner,
as in you rely on her to feel complete
and you rely on her to get validation,
there is a good chance this relationship will not work out.
And this is the reason
why a lot of relationships don't work out today.
The next level up from codependent
is independent relationships.
This is where you say, okay, I love myself,
I don't have this need for someone else to complete me,
I can complete myself.
I am 100% fine just being me.
If you are here, you are in a fantastic spot
and you are already ahead of most other guys.
There is a third level
that not many people are even aware of
called interdependence.
This is where two very independent people come together
and they say, I love myself,
but if we get together, if we strive together,
if we build this epic relationship over the next few months,
our lives will be even better.
The sum is greater than its different parts.
So how do you reach this level of co-dependence?
This is not an easy question.
You have to figure this out on your own.
You'd have to figure out
what it is you want out of your life
apart from having a girlfriend.
For me personally, it's having good health,
having amazing friendships, having strong family values,
and traveling around the world, and essentially,
just doing what I want on a day to day basis.
I don't need a person to complete me.
I don't need another person
for me to feel happy all the time.
But again, you need to figure this out for yourself.
And it cannot start with your girlfriend.
This is basically the mentality where you want to come from.
My life is epic.
But having this girl in my life will add even more value.
She can push me to take over the world,
to dominate in life.
But she's also there to kiss my wounds when I am hurt.
Here is another analogy.
I want you to view your life like a bowl of ice cream.
You have all of your favorite stuff in that bowl.
You got chocolate ice cream, vanilla ice cream,
strawberry ice cream, you have nuts,
Nutella, frosting, whatever, you have everything
that creates a fantastic bowl of ice cream.
Having an amazing girlfriend
is almost like having whipped cream on top of the ice cream.
She does not complete your meal,
you do not need her to enjoy the meal,
but having here there will just make every single bite
taste that much sweeter.
The second truth that you need to understand
is that in order to get a girlfriend,
you need to come from a place of abundance.
A quality girl does not want a guy who is very needy
and desperate for a girlfriend.
Girls are very, very intelligent,
and they can pick up a lot
on your subconscious communications,
meaning they'll sense that neediness.
So in order to come from a place of abundance,
you need to be constantly working on yourself.
You need to be trying to improve your intelligence
by reading lots of books,
by watching lots of videos,
you need to be meeting other cool people,
whether it's girls or guys,
you need to be able to add value to that girl's life.
And when I say value, I don't mean money.
Value can be honestly anything.
It could be your personality,
you can make her laugh, you can make her feel comfortable,
stable, secure, you don't judge her.
Introducing your awesome social circle to her
could be adding value.
It could be anything.
Oftentimes, money is actually not the best way
to add value to a girl
when it comes to building a long term relationship.
If you understand these two principles,
of loving yourself and coming from a place of abundance,
you are so much better off than most guys.
And the last thing that I will say
is you have to be patient.
You have to take your time.
If you are constantly working on yourself,
that amazing woman will enter your life
and it will change it for the better.
Subscribe to become a masculine man.
(slow music)