- Heya playa, have you recently felt like your friends
are just kind of ignoring you?
Like they don't invite you to things,
or talk to you as often,
or really kinda include you in anything that they do?
If so, don't worry.
I'm gonna show you the real reason why they're ignoring you
and what you can do about it.
For those of you that are new here,
my name is Josh and every single Monday through Friday,
I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories
teaching you how to be your best self.
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Now I'm sure you're wondering, why do they do this?
Why do they ignore me?
Why don't they include me in things?
Well, I think the first thing you need to do here
is really assess the situation,
is that exactly what's going on
or do you just feel that way?
Sometimes we may not feel included
if we see our friends having fun without us.
Meaning they're meeting up on their own,
they're doing their own thing,
having their own events
and we just aren't able to attend it.
So, we may feel like we're being left out,
when in reality things just don't align in our schedules.
But that's not always the case,
for example, let's say your friends started a group chat
and just didn't invite you to it.
Well, you don't know if they did it intentionally,
or if they just forgot and you won't ever really know
until you actually address it and talk to them about it.
Until you do, you're gonna be sitting there thinking
my friends hate me, they don't like me,
they don't wanna talk to me,
but it might just be a misunderstanding.
You need to kind of explore in more
to really find out what's going on.
If you really wanna start investigating
and breaking down whether or not
your friends are actually ignoring you,
you need to ask yourself the question,
what is changed in our relationship?
Were your friends more inclusive before?
Did they invite you to things and asking to hang out
and now it's just kind of fallen silent.
They do things on their own without you,
they never really talk to you,
or they keep their answers short and brief.
If you're checking off those boxes then you're telling
yourself yeah this is exactly what they're doing.
Then I think you're ready to hear what the real reason is
as to why they're ignoring you.
They're ignoring you because you never call them out on it.
To your friends, not inviting you to things has become
normalized for them, to them it's normal to say
well do we want this person here, yes or no,
ah whatever it doesn't really matter.
And that's not really the type of friendship
you probably want with them.
But if you continue to hang out with them,
never address it and treat it like it's a normal situation
then of course things aren't gonna change.
They're only gonna become more grounded in that structure.
And I know that's not what you want.
You want friends that you can rely on.
That you know will include you in things.
That will wanna share things with you
and feel comfortable opening up to you.
Are these people really your friends then?
Or are they just people you wanna be friends with?
So what do you do if you're in this type of situation?
Well, I think the best way to address it
is with each person one on one.
I would recommend talking to them in person about it
rather than doing it online because when you do it online
it becomes easier for them to dismiss how you actually feel
because they're just reading words.
They're not seeing the emotion behind your words too.
Now you also might run into situations where everyone
stays as a group and you can never really
pull them apart alone.
Well I think if you have to address the group,
then you have to address it,
but the point here really is to share how you feel.
Not to insult anyone,
not to get angry at them and make them feel bad,
just to let them know how you're feeling.
What you really want here is an honest answer from them.
If they're truly your friends they'll be open to
listening to you, hearing you out and making changes.
If they're not really your friends,
then they're gonna give you some kind of non apology
apology which is super annoying.
And you'll know exactly when it's a non apology apology.
They'll say something like,
oh I'm sorry that you feel that way
or I'm sorry that you're upset.
Basically they're not taking responsibility
of causing you to feel hurt or excluded or left out.
Instead they're spinning around and saying
that's how you feel, that's how you see the situation,
I didn't have anything to do with it.
Hearing those type of responses from people sucks.
But it's important for you to also listen
to what they have to say.
Maybe they're excluding you because you insulted someone
or you trolled someone too bad.
Or you made fun of someone and you weren't aware
that it actually hurt their feelings
and because of that they're leaving you out.
There might be two sides to the story here
so be open to listening just as much as you're
open to sharing how you feel.
And look, at the end of the day,
if these people just don't wanna hang out with you,
then it's okay to let them go.
It doesn't matter if you've had a friendship for a long time
or they're your first friend or your best friend.
The fact of the matter is this,
surround yourself with people that are gonna lift you up.
Not people that are gonna bring you down.
And if these people are bringing you down,
say goodbye to them.
But now I wanna know, what do you think?
Have you ever felt ignored by one of your friends,
or your friend group, or anyone that you know?
Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it.
The learning doesn't end here though.
If you wanna learn more about
building stronger relationships with people,
definitely check out my book Embracing the Awkward
where I go more in depth on it,
I'm gonna link it up here on the screen
and check out the playlist I have listed here,
all about making new friends.
How to establish connections with people
and really turn that into something awesome.
And then oh guys, I'll catch you tomorrow.
As always, love and peace.