- What is attractive about each of the 16 personalities?
What is it about your personality type
that could just be drawing people to you like moths
to the flame?
And not just romantic attraction,
but also just a more general attraction
of people wanting to be around you?
People enjoying your company.
People not hating it when you walk through the door.
That's the baseline attractiveness we're going for here,
people not hating you.
Now, quick note on the structure of this video
is that I've arranged it by type family.
You can watch a whole video about type families here
but in general, your personality type
has three other types within its family.
There are a lot of similarities, even if the types
don't appear on the surface to be similar.
So I would suggest watching the other three types
in your type family, because there could be some overlap
in what makes them attractive, as well as your type.
What makes ESFJ so attractive is that they enjoy
taking control of a social situation
and steering it so that it's enjoyable for everybody,
whether it's on the smaller end,
like you and the ESFJ are just going out for coffee
or if it's a bigger thing like a bunch of friends
are going out somewhere.
ESFJs wanna make sure that if we intend to have fun,
we're gonna have fun.
ESFJ is even like jumping in the spotlight
and performing for you, singing a song,
or telling stories or telling jokes to make sure
that everyone's spirits are lifted.
It is fun for them to make sure
that you are having fun.
Next up a similar type, the ISFJ.
Now ISFJs are interesting
'cause they can play a few different roles.
They don't mind taking control of a situation like the ESFJ
but they also don't mind just blending into the background.
They can be the ones making the plans
or they can be the one who's just going along for the ride.
They are the utility player of your friend group.
And that's what's attractive about them
is like they figure out what you need, what the group needs,
and they fill that role and they do it in such a way
where it doesn't even feel like it was a burden on them.
ISFJs are just always a blast to be around.
While ISFJs might not be the most adventurous,
perhaps you could say they are some
of the least adventurous.
That don't mean that they're boring.
They know what is tried and true.
And that is what makes them such steady, reliable, amazing,
attractive people.
Next, we have the ENTP.
Now with the ENTPs, their stereotype
is that they're argumentative.
And actually this is kind of what makes them attractive.
Not that they are arguing with you
but when you're hanging out with them,
it's fun for them to just like bat around ideas.
They will be talking to you about some
kind of really deep philosophical problem
but they'll be doing it in such a way
where it feels like a game.
And what makes the ENTPs especially attractive
is that they can't stand boring conversations.
Now of course, no one likes boring conversations,
but their tolerance for a boring conversation
is extremely low.
The conversation might get so advanced
that you have a hard time keeping up
especially if you're a poor feeler.
But for me in particular, that's always what I look forward
to when hanging out with ENTPs,
that's what attracts me to them.
Next, the INTP.
Now it's no surprise that INTPs tend to be nerdy and quirky.
And I think a lot of INTPs though,
don't really realize how out there they are.
And this is attractive on two different levels
because it's like on the one hand,
"Oh, you're a really unique person.
You are quite eccentric."
But the lack of total awareness
of that eccentricity is just amusing.
They know they're weird, but they think they're like,
you know, six out of 10 and they're really
like a nine out of 10.
But the thing is, when you point out to them
they just own it.
They are like, "Thank you, thank you
for validating my weirdness."
And this is the thing with all the IPs, INTP not excluded,
is that they're all so unique.
They're all kind of doing their own thing.
And that in and of itself is pretty attractive.
Next we go to the ENTJ.
What's attractive about ENTJ is how opinionated they are.
But the thing is, you're not always
gonna hear all these opinions until you get
some one on one time with them or until you are
in their trusted circle.
Not because ENTJs tend to be that kind
of like executive CEO, I'm gonna tell everyone what to do.
You might think it's obvious that they're opinionated.
However, it's not what I'm talking about.
In their everyday lives, they're operating
in such a way where it's like,
"We all gotta work together.
I'm telling you what to do.
This is the way to do it.
Let's come together, get something done."
But they're not gonna be talking so much about like,
"I like this, I don't like that."
To them, they can't stand on that.
But when you're one on one with them, let me tell you,
they just start going through everything
and telling you all of their opinions on it.
And a lot of times they have really well developed taste.
They just never let you see it.
And to me, that's very attractive
because it's like something
that they kind of keep to themselves.
Next up is the INTJ.
INTJs I have found are pretty easy to talk to.
I get along well with them
but when you have introverted intuition
as your dominant function, it's always just
gonna be something a little bit off about you.
And I can say that because that's where I'm coming from.
And I think what's attractive about INTJ
is that they can talk a lot.
They can talk at length with you, but you get this feeling
that there's something they're hiding.
There is this, the wheels are turning up there
and you're not getting the full picture.
And it's attractive because it's just intriguing.
You wanna hear more of what they have to say
because you're like, "What else have you got going
on up there that you're not letting out?
Tell me what you really think."
I guess it's mysterious, you might say.
Next up is the ESFP.
Like the other SF types, the ESFPs know how to enjoy life.
They know what they like
and they wanna share that with you.
They don't wanna hide it and keep it secret.
They wanna make sure everyone knows,
"I like this, I like that.
Here, try it."
But not only that, they are always looking
for new things that they might like and new people.
So that's what's attractive about ESFPs
is that you just kind of get sucked
into their world of the stuff that they love.
And ESFPs, they are no slouches.
They have very refined taste.
If they like something, it's probably good.
They're not like some of these other types where it's like,
"Why did you think this was good?
Yeah, you talked to some INTJs.
ISFPs, they are unapologetically themselves.
They get maybe a bit of a bad rap, a reputation
for being softies and you know,
overly emotional or whatever.
ISFPs and INFPs, when you get around them,
they are not that soft.
Might be emotional, sure.
Might be quiet, but they are doing their own thing.
Watch out.
And that's attractive because with the ISFPs in particular,
while yes, sometimes they will deal with insecurities,
et cetera, they will doubt themselves,
they will be like, "Oh why did I
make all these mistakes in my life?"
Their answer is always to just be like,
"I gotta keep being myself.
I gotta perfect who I am."
And on this channel I talk a lot about how with all the IPs,
they can get into trouble by doing this,
going too far in on their own decisions.
But you gotta admit, it can be pretty attractive
when you've got an ISFP who has everyone telling them,
"Don't do that, dude, we don't believe in you.
We don't think that you can do it."
But then the ISFP does it anyway.
I mean, call me crazy, but that's attractive.
ESTJs.
Oh man, you know, the ESTJs, the stereotype
is they're some kind of drill sergeant
and in the more extreme forms,
yes, some of them are like that.
But even those people, actually, maybe those people more,
the real, what's the polite way to say it.
The real hard butt people.
They have this weird goofball side that comes out
of frickin' nowhere.
In my opinion, ESTJs are actually
one of the funniest personality types
in terms of they have like good senses of humor.
ESTJs will go after you.
They might be bossing you around telling you,
"Hey, you're doing that thing wrong."
And then they will crack a joke, usually at your expense.
And then they'll giggle about it.
So you see a bit through that hard exterior
that the ESTJs, they're kind of putting up front
most of the time.
And once you get to know them, they don't mind
if you see that.
They're like, "Yeah, I'm being a little bossy, whatever.
The real me is just, you know here for a good time."
I find that attractive about ESTJs.
They're one of my favorite types, really.
Now with ISTJs, what I find attractive
about them is they have a little bit of that goofiness.
It's not quite as pronounced as with the ESTJs,
but with these types, you always know
where you stand with them.
They're straight shooters.
They're not gonna disrespect you by talking around you.
They will eschew obfuscation.
In other words, a lot of times they'll just kind
of tell you what they think plainly
and they want you to do the same back.
Now, I don't mean like being totally rude or whatever.
They're not just gonna walk up to you and say, "Hey, fatty."
But I mean more generally when you're hanging
out with them, you know where you stand with them
I find it attractive because it's kind of refreshing.
ISTJs don't like guessing about stuff,
so they don't wanna make you guess.
INFPs are next.
What makes them so attractive?
Man, what doesn't make them attractive?
Well, I already kind of mentioned them before with the ISFPs
how they're doing their own thing.
I would say more than any other type,
INFPs seem to be very unique individuals.
And that makes them fascinating.
That makes them attractive.
I think what makes them even more attractive
is that because they have that intuition there,
the way that they express themselves
tends to be very interesting.
You know, like if we contrast this with the INTPs
when they're talking to you,
it's all this logical nerdy talk.
Very fascinating, very interesting.
With INFPs, it's all this feeling talk
and maybe I'm just biased 'cause I am a feeler.
But a lot of times what they talk
about is like very core human, emotional experiences.
And they just talk about it so eloquently.
These types just understand what it is
to be human very well.
So they're attractive because they're just
so darn interesting to listen to.
ENFPs.
(blows raspberry)
Oh man.
Frank, why do you always say that before some of the types?
Here's the thing about ENFPs and what makes
'em so attractive is that they love being unpredictable.
They love surprising you.
They're always looking for something unexpected
and they're attractive because it's like
wherever they are, there's the party.
ENFPs just have this ability to kind of create
this festive atmosphere around them.
Maybe not festive.
That makes me think it's like Christmas or something,
Much like the ENTPs that I mentioned before,
ENFPs can't stand being bored.
They have a very low tolerance for it.
And they're always trying to push the envelope.
It's just fun for them to do random stuff
to say random crap that they find amusing.
And it is a bonus to them if you find it amusing as well.
I mean, yeah, it can be scary being on these types for sure
because it's always unexpected.
For an IJ,
(Frank gags)
I don't have words for it.
I mean, ENFPs are like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
I just made that up.
Similarly to those types, let's talk about ESTPs now.
And I say it's similar because ESTPs also love
pushing the envelope, perhaps more than any other type.
And they really don't care.
Like if they offend people, it's like
(blows raspberry) whatever.
They're attractive because they're exhilarating to be around
because they don't care.
And they don't care because they don't really
think much about the future.
They're like, "Oh, if I jump off the house into the pool,
that could be cool, man."
They're not really thinking about, "What if I die?"
Especially in conversation,
they don't mind saying outrageous things.
Not just that they don't mind, they enjoy doing it.
They kind of like to see how are people gonna
react emotionally to this?
If I say this outrageous thing that I know is
probably not good, how mad will people get?
And maybe I find it attractive
because I could never do that.
I aspire to say outrageous things.
I just wanna turn on my camera one day and say,
(beeping)
I mean, it's also just kind of cool that they don't worry
about offending people when they are actually
saying things that they think are true, that are important.
It's kind of the same with is ISTPs, although I think
the ISTPs are a little less focused
on causing that kind of chaos.
ISTPs probably prefer to stick more to themselves.
I gotta say, the ISTPs are probably the type
that intimidates me the most.
I mean these types, they're bad a words.
Now because of this and because they are kind of standoffish
and just want to do their own thing and be left alone,
they can be hard to get to know.
Not always.
You do find some ISTPs who are more extroverted
but even so even if they're talking to you a bunch,
I feel like it's hard to really feel like
you're cracking that nut that is their personality.
But I don't know, I just find them really attractive maybe
because they're so intimidating.
Because they don't mind going off on their own.
The lone ranger riding off into the sunset.
ENFJs, what makes them so attractive?
Well, like the ESFJs we talked about earlier,
ENFJs are very attuned to your emotions
and the emotions of the other people around them.
I love listening to ENFJs talk.
I find myself very attracted to them
because when they're talking to you
they're kind of like picking apart a lot
of things about you trying to help you out,
trying to help you improve your life.
They're connecting what's going on in your life
with like these greater themes in humanity.
Actually, if you wanna get really good advice,
go to an ENFJ.
It might leave you feeling confused at the end
and it may not be practical, but you will feel like
you understood what they said,
even if you don't understand on the surface.
I mean, it's kind of like what I'm saying now
doesn't make sense, but it does.
And the thing is with the ENFJs and ESFJs too
is that even though they are looking out for your emotions
and they're very warm and all that,
they do have this sharp logical side that comes
out where they will just be like, "No, that's wrong."
They will quickly cycle back to,
"Okay let's go back to the emotions and stuff,"
but it's kind of attractive when they bring out
that introverted thinking side, they're just like,
(whip cracks) "No."
Now we come to, INFJs.
Not attractive.
That ends this video.
(Frank laughs)
I'm kidding guys.
With INFJs, they are very intense listeners
and believe it or not, a lot of INFJs are very talkative.
They want to joke around and laugh a lot with you.
They've got the strong, extroverted feeling
but even those more outgoing INFJs,
they're always kind of just focused
in on everything you say.
And it might not be like every word in detail
but they're taking everything you're saying
and they're fitting it into their knowledge
of the world and how the universe works.
And they're really trying to solve you in a way.
They're trying to place you
into their mapping of reality.
And it's not even trying.
They probably do it fairly quickly after meeting you.
And then after that, they're just looking
at how everything you're saying is connecting
with things that they already know about the universe
or at least just about other people.
Human nature, human psychology.
Now, of course INFJs are not robots.
It's not like this is taking up all their effort
but it's a process that's running on autopilot
all the time and they can't turn it off.
Wait, this is about attractiveness.
No, but the reason it's attractive is because INFJs
is just wanna understand everybody.
And that's pretty attractive.
Thanks for watching.
Until next time, stay cool and attractive.
That's the name of the video.
(upbeat guitar music)