Hey, it's Mark here from Make Him Yours, and today, I was inspired to do a video by a story
that happened to a client and also something that happened to me. I'm going to show you
one sign of true confidence in a woman. Stay tuned.
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I was inspired to do this video by a couple of clients' stories that have come up in recent
weeks. The first one was last night. It was a client who had been messaging a man online,
but about a week ago, the conversation had fizzled. Now, she showed me the conversation
and the conversation fizzling was kind of her fault. She hadn't really continued it,
and the man had stopped replying. Now in this case, she really liked the guy. She really
liked his profile and she really did want to meet up with him, but it had now been a
week and I said to her, you need to message him again. And she said, "No, I do want to
like, I don't want to risk that rejection." And she was very hesitant.
The second client was a client who came to me a couple of weeks ago for her discovery
call. She was a beautiful young woman and she said, "I think that my boyfriend or the
guy that I've at least been seeing for a few months whom things had been going great with
is about to break up with me. He's taken space for the last week or so and now he's called
me saying he wants to meet up and that we need to chat." She said, "I'm pretty sure
my intuition is telling me that he's going to end things. How do I handle this conversation?"
She said, "Here's what I think I should do. I should go out there, go up to him, showing
myself respect and before anything else happens, I should say I wouldn't want to be with anyone
who doesn't want to be with me and that I should jump the gun to show him my self respect."
What did these two clients have in common? You'll notice that the one thing that was
the same between both of them, even though the situations were very different, was that
they were both trying to avoid rejection. It's a pattern of our society. We're all in
the business of trying to avoid being rejected, avoid being hurt, of avoiding putting ourselves
out there. None of us want to be the more vulnerable one anymore. We all say, well,
I don't want to be the one that gets hurt. I need to put up the shield first. The problem
is that when you put up shields, people's instincts are to put up shields back with
you. What it really is rather than self-respect is self preservation, and because we're all
so scared of getting rejected, we don't risk vulnerability and risk forming a connection
that leads to love.
So the first client, I told her, "No, send him a message. Send him a message that says,
Hey, I actually loved your profile. I'd love to hear more of your stories. This is my number.
Give me a call." For the second client. I said, "No, don't jump the gun." Don't go in
there and tell him I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. That
will come through in your actions. Instead, let yourself get rejected. Show that you're
sad. There's no shame in that. There's no shame in being vulnerable. Put yourself out
there to be rejected and if it happens then you have the self respect to walk away. But
we're not jumping to putting up our shield. We're not jumping to defending ourselves.
The mark of true confidence, the mark of a truly confident woman is the fact that she's
the one who's okay being rejected. She's not jumping to defend herself. She knows that
she wants to form a deep intimate and loving connection and she's brave enough to be the
one that shows interest first to risk that to risk love.
I applied this concept in my own life just a few nights ago. Now, I haven't spent a lot
of time myself in the dating relationships around for the past 12 months or so. I've
been very focused on the business, but every now and then I'll find myself out at a club
and I did so just a few nights ago. During this time I met eyes with a particular woman.
She met eyes back and we had a little bit of a dance. It was pretty clear throughout
the night that we will eyeing each other off. Later on in the night. I walked over to her
and we danced more. We spent some time together and then suddenly at one moment, and I'm not
sure why, she turned, spun around, and walked away. I was a little confused, but it felt
cold. My intuition was telling me something was off, but I liked this woman.
I was attracted to her and I definitely wanted to get her number and see her again. And so
I beckoned her over a couple more times over the next hour or so. And each time, she wouldn't
come and I was then put at across roads. Had I been rejected? I really wasn't sure. And
this is the point where most of us will go,"Well, I don't want to risk it. I don't want to risk
getting rejected, so I'll just go do my own thing." But no, I wanted to see this woman
again, so I decided this is it. Put your neck on the line. I walked straight over to her,
bee-lined halfway across the club and I said, "Would you like to dance with me? I'd love
to keep dancing with you." She looked at me and she shook her head and I said, "Thank
you." And I walked away very frickin happy because I knew that I wasn't going home with
a single doubt.
I knew that I'd put myself on the line and I knew that I'd never have to wonder and just
like my client who sent this guy a message online, just like the other client that called
me up and showed her man honesty and integrity and showed that she didn't want things to
end, none of us walked away with any doubts. None of us walked away with any wonders and
we all knew that we gave it our all. Embrace rejection in your life, embrace it in your
dating. Don't keep putting yourself out there to the same person and throwing your interest
at someone who doesn't deserve it, but never be scared to embrace rejection and to tell
someone how you really feel. The mark of a truly confident woman is to risk being vulnerable
and is to risk rejection. You just still have to have the self esteem to walk away when
it isn't reciprocated. Well, that's the video. Thank you. What do you think? Thoughts, comments,
questions, let me know below. Give the video a thumbs up and hit that big red subscribe
button. Share it around with your friends. If you agree with this concept and agree that
we all need to be more vulnerable and put our necks on the line a little more, in our
dating. Thank you again for watching, and I'll see you in the next video very soon.
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