He's Gonna. Take you back to the past
to play the shitty games that suck ass
He'd rather have a buffalo
Take a diarrhea dump in his ear. He'd rather eat
the rotten asshole of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer.
He's the angriest Gamer you've ever heard
He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd.
He's the angry Atari, Sega Nerd. He's the Angry video game Nerd!
What happens when you take a movie turn it into a show and then turn it into a game
Well, let's take a look at the case [of] the toxic avenger. It was a movie by troma entertainment
full of violence and bloodshed
people's intestines being ripped out a
Child's head being run over by [a] car and tits [it] was low class it was foul. It was despicable
And it was fucking great
So what do you do with the movie like that?
Well turn into a children's cartoon show of course the toxic crusaders
Then there were comic books there were toys and video games. How do you think those games were? Huh? You think they were good?
Yeah, they sucked these games were more vile than the toxic waste that [spawn] toxie himself
And that's what happens when you go from a hit to shit
What about Lloyd Kaufman creator the toxic Avenger? [what] would he think?
Well guess what?
He's sitting here right next to me
Yeo-Hwa
Greetings from Tromaville Lloyd Kaufman from fucking Troma is here
This is the first time we've had a creator here in the room and lloyd Kaufman is one of my favorite directors nerd oh
How about you? Yeah? Uh-huh?
we got some filth here that you [gotta] try out because you just need to feel the pain and
Suffering of every child in the early 90s inadvertently caused by your creation
You gotta do it
Oh get me out of slow motion [I] can [oh] regular speed, huh, huh?
I do this all the time you have to [feel] the torture all right actually I'm a sadomasochists. Oh, no problem. That works out
First up the toxic Crusader's Gameboy game wow this is so exciting. I love this
It's just an average side-scrolling shooter
There's not much to say you play as characters from the show firing off Sonic's knots or throwing
Microscopes at people who the hell throws microscopes [enter] nerd nerd that is not a microscope
That is actually a replica of Taylor Swift, and that's the thing with troma. We are movies of the future
We we anticipate I solve the maggot I see [and] actually no, I don't see it
oh
How do you like this part when you go down to he'll eat all jittery?
Like there's a delay look the downhill thing is very symbolic. It's all downhill just like my career
How do you like the graphics the backgrounds are full of trash cans and toilets sums up this game perfectly?
[what] you don't know notice they cut out the best part of these backgrounds we had come rags
We had used tampons and those toilets themselves came directly from the set of Steven Spielberg's AI we got a good deal
[I] take it
He doesn't like Ai I love Ai look at those toilets, okay?
So maybe you can explain this what is dripping out [of] the tree?
Nerd [that's] called subtlety in that tree is [trow] me the nuclear [rodent]. He's got diarrhea. God come on man
Get with it now, I know
Okay, so maybe you could tell me what's going on with the clouds here and the other cloud that's pissing on you
What's going on there a different cloud than the other ones and please leave my personal life out of this if you don't mind
This is a historic. This is the first use in a videogame of a golden shower until
The Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen twins video games, [I] have not played those maybe I'll have to try them now now
What are you talking about?
Why is Always [Gotta] be bats?
These aren't bad snotty these are cats with wings when I was in teenager in Tijuana
I had some pussy with wings and and and that's what this is all about man
Yeah
How do you like this world [2-4] world [2-5] and we're still going? And it's a portable?
Console, you could beat Super Mario land in the time
What are you talking about you want something to take a long time to beat would take me a long time to beat off to
Justin Bieber man
[is] a long time at long my penis is pretty damn long right now
And I'm I'm not even pleasant look at all the z's on the fence
That's exactly how I feel and when I play this game like going to sleep
Hmm, all right all right okay, okay, okay?
Well that was the gameboy version just a warm-up now. Let's try the sega Genesis version
The first stage really drops you off with a bang a car continuously runs you over
Let me come on run me over head crushing. Just like toxie the movie yeah [top] [two]
Crusaders toxic dude yeah, dad I'll take over
Well as you can tell it's just another beat em up game. So what do you think of that chopper?
Why is it have so many colors? Well a chopper is made out of a time and and it's I died
That's why it is those many colors
Give me Don't girl. I
want
What about the music could they have something a little [more] upbeat and action-packed?
I
Love it. I love it. I makes me Wanna strip nerd [I] want to take my clothes. Oh, okay, okay?
I love this music come on
[no], I died when I touch water
Why would water kill [Toxie] you got to admit?
That's pretty fucked up
Toxie is the great great granddaughter of the wicked witch of the west from the wizard of Oz who as you remember?
dissolved when water touched her
having fun back
And [L] won't get in yeah. Yeah, yeah
Maybe he's so dirty that water kills him because it cleans him, but then again
He's got the mop [and] he's all about cleaning and his catchphrase in the game is its cleanup time
So really he's just a big contradiction of himself you used the word dick, and I don't think that's very polite yin
And yang write dirt and clean they're together in the yin-yang symbol
Very profound sleep. This is the trouble you know you need that old drunk
I mean you need an old older mature man like me to explain this to you. Yes this game is very
psyChological
Freud you you know what freud this game
You know what's really annoying is this yellow Pac-man ball sack that's always bouncing around following [toxie]
Why do you need that you could whack it every now and then with the Bob. That's blobby man
That's blobby toxie's pet he's very important and and by the way a little film Factor behind the scenes
You [know] how we made blobby for the movie we took my [Ballsack]
We made a cast of my ball sack and and we got blobby I did blow off my pubic hair, which is very painful
But you folks out there and when video land can make your own damn blobbies and you can be just like George Lucas
so Lemon Burger King
[I]
[hate] these parts where you keep falling off
You better watch out nerd you're Gonna have a second piss ['let]
That's no, joke fuck
Hmm. There's no way to know what's ahead of you sure there is you jump and you die?
I want to blow my fucking brains out. You know what I mean
you
So that's the gist [but] [now] on [to] our feature presentation
[if] you took all the things that were bad about the gameboy version and the genesis version threw them together into one big
Vat of toxic waste out would [come] the nes version. [oh] yeah, and it is toxic
Yeah
Oh man, it's glitching up
Gotta blow the dust out
Here blow it this game already blows. You know we know nerd I've got some dust in my asshole
Could you blow it out just just for about 30 seconds. I would really help the game [know] what?
[Tocsy] looks just like raphael with the headband. Yeah, you know you're right. He does and in fact Raphael
did wear a headband when he and tintoretto where we're going paint shopping and in fact then she sold him the
Headbands they all three of them wore them
It was really very nice in the renaissance your only weapon is the moth and you'll lose it after getting hit once
Since this is a beat'em up game your average time before you get hit is about one point two seconds
First thing that happens you start the game whoosh there goes the mop
Whoosh there goes the mop wait [my] [cake] goes swoosh you didn't complain about that right whoosh
What's wrong with a little whoosh daddy loves whoosh whoosh warmest over history
whoosh whoosh
Think of yourself as a bad guy you get hit a couple of times and you are dead
De Dee Dead to think about that? Huh?
Never thought that but fuck'em why even give you the mop at all
It doesn't do anything special anyway
It's not like the sword and zelda that shoots until you get hit the first time [no] the mop is just another basic Short-range attack
You know and for a guy whose motto is. It's cleanup time
He sure doesn't clean up much look at all that waste he leaves lying around
What he [expecting] he doesn't have his mop. That's right
wait-Wait-Wait-wait
toxic Waste kills him now first water
but now toxic waste too by the way speaking of toxic waste [you] want to have some irritable bowels watch the view [I]
Like how the music on an nes version is better than the 16-bit [genesis] version. It's much more lively oh
Yeah, well it's it's the theme song from Toxic Avenger part 2 that's right
Why is the attack so weak or is there anything else you can do is there any stronger attack like to just try mashing buttons?
[it's] a like button is working great where this are you kidding me? Yeah? We're gonna let me see that let me see that
The select button is the stronger attack you sound like you might have a selection
So there's no reason to [ever] use the b button. [why] would you do that?
Well, I would use it if I want to kill people slower
Yeah in other words if you're an idiot well b is for bozo
But no with all seriousness. There's one time when you'll use the b button that's before you find out about the select button
Who uses a select button there is no other game [that] does that
The jump button and attack button should be right next to each other
But instead you have to hop your thumb back and forth. Well, you don't have a mutated hand
Maybe that would help [oh]
See that that's me accidentally hitting the fucking pause button because I have to reach all the [way] across the controller
Or you spread your fingers out [like] this you got to do this
But what game does that when would you ever go like this come on? It's the mark of the devil
Yeah, this game is the devil. Oh come on one in the pink and one in the stink [ha] ha you [wanna], smell [ah]
Whoever came up with the idea hitting select for attack and suck the piss out of a [platypuses] penis
Very good alliteration boy, but I prefer sucking and health's penis myself you say L4 [elk]
Both okay never mind [at] the same time
Yeah, whatever. It's only the 111th fucking episode
The big problem with this game. Is that it's just too hard I'd be ghosts and goblins
Why can't I do this shit the bad guys they just keep coming?
And the thing I hate about beat [them] up games like this is that you have to kill everybody you see the screen stops moving
Until you clear all the enemies it's not like in Kung Fu
Where you can just keep moving ahead and fight them at your own pace
It wouldn't be such a problem if the entire floor wasn't covered in toxic waste at these awkward diagonal Slants
So your jumping has to be very precise
What hmm ass. Huh night? Here you you [get] a try me try come on
Fuck jumpin jesus on a fucking pogo stick fuck dick wow we [we] do [d]. Fuck fuck
and
That's what happens when you go from the movie to the show to the game
It's like putting a golden egg up on a mountain of shit
And then you roll it down
And it gets shittier and shittier and shittier by the time it gets to the bottom
It ain't the same and look that's your name on it. That's your name on this game
I [spit] on my name, please, please please what you created. That's great
Got transformed into a mutated anomaly that would make the pope weak [it] made a mockery of your shit man. What are you gonna?
Do about it what am I gonna do [about] it? [what] am I gonna do [about] it? I'm gonna shit on this
I'm gonna take a huge dump here I go and I had baked beans for dinner
You weren't shit. You shitty fucking game. Well here it comes here come
Hello teach you you fucking game