>>> WE CONTINUE NOW WITH OUR WEEK-LONG SERIES "SECRETS."
TELLING MY TRUTH.
WITH A STORY OF HODA HAJERNIA.
HODA SEEMED TO HAVE IT ALL, BUT
IN REALITY, SHE WAS WASTING
AWAY, TRYING TO HIDE A DARK SECRET.RYING TO HIDE A DARK
SECRET. WATCH.
WATCH.
>> HEY, HODA.
CONGRATS ON THE LISTING IN
WOODLAND HILLS.
>> THANKS.
>> HOWD YOU GET THAT?
>> HOW DID I GET THAT? >> YEAH.ID I GET THAT?
>> YEAH. >> THE SAME WAY YOU GET YOURS.
>> HODA IS SMART, BEAUTIFUL AND
HER FIERY DETERMINATION IS FRONT
AND CENTER IN HER ROLE ON "REAL ESTATE WARS." HER ROLE ON "REAL
ESTATE WARS." >> ARE YOU WORKING?
>> YEAH, TEXTING A CLIENT.
>> BUT THIS WAS HODA IN HIGH
SCHOOL, ROUGHLY 13 YEARS AGO
WHEN SHE SAYS SHE HAD A SECRET.
SHE WAS ANOREXIC.
AT ONE POINT, SHE TELLS "PEOPLE"
MAGAZINE, HER WEIGHT WAS DOWN TO
AN ALARMING 87 POUNDS.
TOWARD THE END OF HER SENIOR
YEAR, SHE WENT FROM ANOREXIC TO
BULIMIC, A DANGEROUS CYCLE OF
BINGEING AND PURGING.
SHE SUFFERED WITH BOULIMIA INTO
HER 20s, STRUGGLING TO KEEP IT A
SECRET FROM HER FRIENDS AND
FAMILY.
FAMILY.
IT LEFT HER FEELING ALONE AND
DEPRESSED AND WONDERING IF SHE
WOULD EVEN SURVIVE. >> WERE HAPPY TO SAY HODA DID
SURVIVE AND SHE IS WITH US NOW.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. >> LOOKING BACK ON THEG ME.
>> LOOKING BACK ON THE BEGINNINGS OF YOUR EATING
DISORDER, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT
WAS THAT CAUSED YOU TO TRY TO
CONTROL YOUR FOOD IN THAT
MANNER?
MANNER?
>> LOOKING BACK AT IT NOW, I REALIZE THAT IN ELEMENTARY I
REALIZE THAT IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, I ACTUALLY WAS BULLIED
IN, I BELIEVE IT WAS LIKE FOURTH
OR FIFTH GRADE, WHERE I WAS MADE
FUN OF FOR THE WAY I LOOKED,
JUST PHYSICALLY ON THE OUTSIDE.
FOR SO MY FACIAL FEATURES AND MY
EYEBROW
EYEBROW EYEBROWS, TO BE EXACT AND
DIRECT.
DIRECT.
BUT I WENT INTO SOME TYPE OF
DEPRESSION AT THAT YOUNG AGE,
WHERE I WASNT EATING AT LUNCHTIME.SNT EATING AT
LUNCHTIME.
I WOULD GO HOME AND MY DAD WOULD
SAY, SO WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR LUNCH?O WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR
LUNCH?
ID GIVE THEM BACK THE $2.50 HE SENT ME OFF TO SCHOOL WITH. HE
SENT ME OFF TO SCHOOL WITH. MY PARENTS STARTED COMING TO
SCHOOL.
SCHOOL.
I STARTED TO BECOME A LITTLE ANTI-SOCIAL AND DISTANT.TTLE
ANTI-SOCIAL AND DISTANT. FOR ABOUT A YEAR.
THEN AFTER THAT, I WAS TOTALLY
FINE.
FINE.
I DIDNT HAVE ANY FOOD ISSUES.
>> YOUR MOM HAD A COUPLE OF CAR
ACCIDENTS IN HIGH SCHOOL.
>> YES.
>> HAD SOME HEALTH ISSUES.
WHY WAS IT -- WHAT DID YOU GET OUT OF -- WHEN YOU STARTED WITH
THE ANOREXIA, WHAT WERE YOU
GETTING OUT OF THAT, YOU KNOW,
OF NOT EATING?
>> SO MY MOM HAD SOME HEALTH
ISSUES WHEN I WAS IN HIGH
SCHOOL.
SCHOOL.
I WAS THE MIDDLE CHILD.
MY BROTHER WAS AWAY AT COLLEGE, AND MY SISTER WAS A NEWBORN.GE,
AND MY SISTER WAS A NEWBORN. SO I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DEAL
WIT.
WIT.
MY PARENTS DIDNT KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON.S DIDNT KNOW WHAT WAS
GOING ON. SO MY DAD WAS TAKING MY MOM TO
SEE DOCTORS AND GET TESTING
DONE.
DONE.
THE ONLY THING THAT I FELT I HAD
CONTROL OVER WAS WHAT I WAS PUTTING INTO MY BODY, WHICH WAS
FOOD.
FOOD.
SO I FELT USELESS TO THE FAMILY.
I COULDNT HELP WITH DRIVING MY
MOM HERE AND THERE. I WASNT OLD ENOUGH TO, YOU
KNOW, WORK A FULL-TIME JOB.
I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I COULDNT SUPPORT THEM IN ANY
WAY.
SO THE ONLY THING, LIKE I SAID, I HAD CONTROL OVER WAS FOOD.ID,
I HAD CONTROL OVER WAS FOOD. UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS A WAY THAT
I PUNISHED MYSELF, BY NOT
EATING.
EATING.
BECAUSE YOU NEED FOOD TO LIVE. >> I KNOW YOU LOST 40 POUNDS IN
TWO TO THREE MONTHS.
>> YES.
>> YES.
>> WERE YOU AWARE OF WHAT WAS
HAPPENING TO YOU?
YOU KNOW, THEY TALK ABOUT BODY
DISMORPHIC DISORDER, WHILE YOU THINK YOURE FAT WHILE YOUREYOU
THINK YOURE FAT WHILE YOURE WASTING AWAY.
WASTING AWAY.
DID YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF AND
THINK, I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT?
IM FAT?
>> I DIDNT SEE WHAT EVERYBODY
WAS SAYING.
I DIDNT REALIZE HOW THIN I WAS. LIKE WHEN I WOULD SEE SKIN AND.
LIKE WHEN I WOULD SEE SKIN AND BONES, WHICH IS WHAT I GOT TO, I
FELT LIKE I WAS NORMAL.
YEAH, OR THAT I WAS OVERWEIGHT,
AT SUCH, YOU KNOW, LOW WEIGHT
AND I WAS SO FRAGILE.
MY BONES WERE EXPOSED.
LIKE IF I WAS -- IF I WAS GOING
TO HIGH SCHOOL IN ANY OF MY
CLASSES, JUST SITTING ON THOSE
SEATS IN CLASS, IT WOULD HURT SO
MUCH, ID HAVE TO WEAR LAYERS.
TWO LAYERS OF LEGGINGS AND THEN
SWEATPANTS AND ANOTHER PAIR OF
SWEATPANTS, JUST TO --
>> I NOTICE TRANSITIONED FROM ANOREXIA INTO BULIMIA WHEN YOU
WERE BINGEING AND PURGING.
YOU KNOW, THE BINGEING, WE
NORMALLY HEAR FROM BAA LEGALULIM
IT IS AN OVERWHELMING AMOUNT OF
CALORIES.
CALORIES.
WHAT WOULD A BINGE LOOK LIKE FOR YOU? WOULD A BINGE LOOK LIKE FOR
YOU?
>> IT DISGUSTS ME TODAY, THINKING ABOUT IT.TODAY,
THINKING ABOUT IT. THOUSANDS OF CALORIES.
MAYBE LIKE WHAT SOMEBODY WOULD
CONSUME IN A WEEK IN ONE
SITTING.
SITTING.
>> I KNOW YOU SAID YOU WERE
THROWING UP TEN TIMES A DAY AT
THE HEIGHT OF YOUR ISSUE.
>> MM-HMM.
>> HOW DID YOU BREAK THE CYCLE?
>> YOU KNOW, I HAD LOST SO MUCH
HAIR, AND MY TEETH WERE
STARTING -- THEY WERE TO
BRITTLE.
I HAD LITERALLY FILLINGS IN
BETWEEN ALMOST ALL OF MY FRONT
TEETH.
YOU WOULDNT NOTICE THAT BECAUSE
IT WAS STILL WHITE AND I HAD A
GREAT DENTIST.
BUT YOU WOULDNT KNOW THAT THAT
WAS THE CASE. THEN IT GETS TO A POINT WHERE
YOU REALIZE YOURE GOING TO LOSE
YOUR TEETH AND THE REST OF YOUR
HAIR.
HAIR.
SO I JUST KNEW I HAD TO STOP.
THERE WAS SOMETIMES WHEN I YO-YOED.S SOMETIMES WHEN I
YO-YOED.
I STOPPED FOR SOME TIME AND THEN
GOT BACK INTO IT.
I WASNT THERE YET.
>> NOW YOURE ON TV.
>> YEAH.
>> WHICH YOURE AMAZINGLY
GORGEOUS
GORGEOUS.
>> THANK YOU.
>> YOURE ON TV. HAVING KEPT A SECRET, BECAUSE
YOU CERTAINLY DIDNT WANT YOUR
FAMILY TO KNOW THAT YOU WERE AN
ANOREXIC OR A BAA LEGALULIMICBUL
COMING OUT WITH IT, PUBLICLY AS
SOMEONE ON TELEVISION, HOW HAS
IT BEEN FOR YOU?
>> ITS BEEN GREAT.
I WAS HESITANT TO COME OUT.
I WAS NERVOUS.
I WAS WORRIED ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE
WHO DONT KNOW ME MAY THINK.
BUT IVE GOTTEN A LOT OF GREAT
RESPONSE AND A LOT OF MESSAGES
FROM EVERYBODY FROM HIGH SCHOOL.
THOSE PEOPLE ACTUALLY SAW IT,
AND ITS REAL.
IT IS VERY REAL.
THESE PHOTOS, YOU CAN SEE, LIKE
THAT, YOU KNOW, I WAS SUFFERING.
ITS BEEN GREAT.
MY GOAL, HONESTLY, IS TO GIVE
HOPE AND FAITH TO ANYBODY THAT
IS STRUGGLING WITH AN EATING
DISORDER.
DISORDER.
AND LET THEM KNOW THAT IF THEY
DONT SEE, YOU KNOW, THE LIGHT
AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, AND IT MAY BE SMALL, SMALL, SMALL LIGHT
AT THE VERY, VERY DISTANCE OF
THE TUNNEL, FAR, FAR AWAY, THAT
THEY, TOO, CAN OVERCOME THIS
DISORDER.
DISORDER. >> YEAH.
>> YEAH. YOURE THERE.
YOURE THERE. YOURE THERE AT THE END OF THE
LIGHT, TOO.
LIGHT, TOO.
>> YEAH.
>> THANK YOU. >> THANK YOU.
>> AT LEAST 30 MILLION PEOPLE
SUFFER FROM AN EATING DISORDER
IN THE UNITED STATES.
EVERY 62 MINUTES, AT LEAST ONE
PERSON DIES AS A RESULT OF AN
EATING DISORDER.
EATING DISORDER. IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE NEEDS
HELP, WE HAVE INFORMATION
AVAILABLE AT
AVAILABLE AT TODAY.COM/MEGYNTODAY.
TODAY.COM/MEGYNTODAY. YOU CAN WATCH HODA ON "REAL