This video is about "Stop Trying to Save the Wrong People" I'll explain why you must stop
trying to save the wrong people in your life... To find out more please stay tuned to this video
Welcome to The SCG Show! Please hit the like button for the YouTube algorithm
and turn your life around with BetterHelp! The link is in the description down below
Do you suffer from a hero complex? Are you a self-designated Florence Nightingale or
consider yourself a Knight in shining armor? If your answer is a resounding "yes" to these questions
well it most likely appears you are indeed a compassionate and empathetic person
I admire you if that's the case, the world certainly needs more love and care from others
However your hero complex or desperate need to please people can have (if you're not careful) a
very detrimental effect on your own well-being and mental health. The hero complex sometimes
called as "hero syndrome or savior complex" is when someone strives to be the hero of the situation
no matter the situation or odds. They want to be the ones that saved the day
I'm a huge nerd i love comics and superheroes so i totally get why you might want to be the hero
but sadly i've learned this the hard way, and this may come as a shock to your system but some people
can't be saved and it's not your duty to do so, especially if the other person doesn't want to
be. Basically you cannot save those who don't wish to be saved. My dad had the hero complex and he
wanted to save everyone he could... he had an open door policy anyone with a sob story could come in
he'd fall for it and try and help! One month he was so stressed because he took on too much at
once his work and other problems and he just kept letting people come in with their sub stories
"I can handle it" he said naively. He passed away from illness at 62. But i reckon the
poor man died of stress! That is what happens when you're wasting your time, energy, health and life
to save the wrong people aka the selfish, lazy, entitled, negative toxic people of the world.
Look if you're a surgeon or doctor i'm not saying don't do your job aka
to help and save a patient's life for crying out loud, but instead i'll explain what happens
when you go down the road of being the hero or trying to be the hero for the wrong person...
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When you spend your life trying to save the wrong people, you're most likely dealing with
an energy draining vampire, and an energy draining vampire is someone who intentionally drains your
emotional energy! They feed on your willingness to listen, care, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed
They can be anywhere and anyone that really is the key line there - these vampires can be
anywhere and anyone... from your spouse or partner your family, friends, your co-workers they may be
sat opposite you right now as you're watching this video... Embarrassingly enough i once dated a woman
who just did not have her life together, no structure, no real job, no money, she was immature
she had no ambition, but because i previously had a hero complex i thought to myself "i can help
her guide her to do better!" I was very wrong, every conversation we had turned into a massive argument
she never wanted to take personal responsibility and like i said she was dreadfully immature.
I spent a very long time trying even basic things like encouraging her to learn how to drive,
plan her finances, better budget and so on, I was basically trying to get her act together for
her but she reveled in the chaos "i love my life as it is" she admitted "i also like how much you
care about me, wanting me to get better, but i'm happy and great with the way things are!!" She has
potted around and amounted to absolutely nothing ever since, because i walked away in disbelief
and when i walked, i was emotionally and physically drained from all those conversations that went
nowhere... all those conversations that actually stemmed into arguments... and all those empty
promises and so on and so forth, flogging that dead horse. Stop trying to save the energy vampires who
are draining your energy and your life, because you're only hurting yourself in the process...
Now if you do have a hero complex and struggle with the need to please and help everyone
You might want to check out my official sponsor BetterHelp!
I've personally used BetterHelp and found them so effective for turning my life around for the
better! It's an online portal that provides direct to consumer access to behavioral health services
The online counseling and therapy services are provided through web-based interaction
such as phone and text communication! You get four live sessions a month and unlimited messaging
in between sessions as well as access to group therapy webinars which are updated each and
every single week! You can sign up for BetterHelp in the description below, by using that link you'll
be supporting my channel and i'll give you 10% off your first month too! So stop trying to save
the wrong people and turn your life around with BetterHelp! The link is in the description below!
This part of the video is very personal to me = i used to be a gambling addict for years and
because of my addiction i made many friends as bad as me whose life was all about gambling... they
went to the casino daily... they lost relationships, marriages.... there were mountains of debt and despair
and they were so addicted they couldn't see a way out.... I won't bore you too much with the
details but my official moment of sobriety came when i had the worst gambling session
ever! It wasn't the amount i lost as such, it was the time and energy wasted in the casino
I had an entire day planned initially...I popped in the casino at 12 pm midday just to originally use
the bathroom and i escaped at 9pm that evening miserable and a broken man... that was enough for
me! I couldn't take it anymore and with strength, willpower and knowledge = I became clean and sober
and i haven't gambled in a few years! The moment i made a solemn vow to never gamble again
i decided to text all my friends i had made over the years, i said "i'm no longer gambling but i
like hanging out with you guys, do you want to grab some drinks, dinner anything but the casino?"
Of course i was met with a charade of abuse "you coward! Gambling's our life! Our hobby!
You'll be back in the casino soon! How can you lead me to gamble without you alone?!" One guy who was so
badly addicted to gambling however reached out and asked for my help, he had lost his wife in divorce
his children were distant, and he was desperate to be clean and sober. I tried to sponsor him and
point him to the 12 steps but he did so just for attention, he admitted "oh i never actually
wanted to give up! I just wanted to chat and feel better about myself, sorry but i choose gambling!
Gambling is my life!" This really crushed me when i heard him say this, sadly you cannot save those
who just don't deep down want to be saved... that includes people who are unfortunately addicted
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You should be aware that there's no saving toxic people, especially delusional people like
narcissists, who are master deflectors, blame everybody and anything else,
never take personal responsibility and revel in their toxic behavior and drama! Sadly all my life
i've endured many types of narcissists from exes to family members, friends and so on... they are so
stuck in their ways and false beliefs there's no fixing them... there is no saving them as such... they
are well on their way to taking their bad behavior to the grave, and of course anyone else that wants
to go along with them for the ride! There was a narcissistic man who had caused the mother of all
arguments amongst his friends and family... there was zero justification logic or reasoning behind it
he did it, it happened, the rest is history! Despite his family and others trying their best to explain
to him where he'd gone wrong and how much he hurt everyone else he refused to listen. "I've
done nothing wrong!" he said in a delusional childish manner... he genuinely believed he was
wronged by others, he was personally attacked and he felt the "victim" when in fact he was the abuser
who caused all the arguments and problem,s but did not care what destruction he caused in the process...
Eventually his family gave up on him from his siblings, his parents, and even his wife
who finally divorced him... not even his adult children wanted anything else to do with him
"He's too far gone" said one of his sons "not going to waste my precious life trying to save
a narcissist!" This is a regular occurrence and it's happening far too often than you think
toxic people cannot be saved because they lack self-awareness and only when and if in rare
occasions they decide to... that is when they might save themselves rather than have someone save them!
The only person you can truthfully genuinely and healthily save is yourself, especially in
this scenario! There was a woman who was trying to save her brother who was in a toxic marriage and
he was struggling, but her brother was not honest he was addicted to the drama, he contributed to it
and almost enjoyed the scenario he created! His sister tried everything
for him counseling, medication, trying to talk and get her brother away from the situation
he refused to comply... open up... or talk about his situation... so it could not be resolved. This woman
finally after years and years of putting others like her brother first saved herself
"I'm done, officially done..." she said. She kept her brother at arm's length, stopped taking
the calls and focused on her own life instead. She immediately became happier, she felt calmer
she had more peace in her life... she attracted more happiness and manifested more good opportunities
"It's like a miracle!" she admitted "by simply walking away and focusing on myself
i actually saved myself from my own hero complex, and my life too!" Here's the reality = nobody is going
to save you not Superman, Spider-man nobody! Only you can save yourself! I know it hurts
and you want that other person whoever they are to turn a corner but only they can do that for
themselves and if they don't wish to, that's their problem not yours! Focus on your own life no doubt
there are plenty of unresolved issues that need saving on your own end to begin with...