- Hey man, I'm--
- Handsome.
- I'm sorry, you are--
- Eric.
Eric.
(jazzy music)
Excuse me, I gave two and a half hand-jobs
to that guy I met in Butlins.
- Why the half?
- We got interrupted.
Stupid surprise karaoke.
(jazzy music)
Hey!
- What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
- Kelly Clarkson, poets!
- Literature.
We're open for business.
(jazzy music)
- And doing it with someone you like must be awesome
because they really get you,
maybe the two of you've become one
like the Spice Girls said.
'Scuse me, I'm a bad girl in heels, a bad girl,
let it be known to the world.
Uh, oh!
Does it, does it, does it, does it?
He still calls me trombone man,
it's been four years, four years!
- You did get an erection on the stage,
in front of the entire school.
- It was a semi!
And the nickname doesn't even make sense.
I play the French Horn.
(French Horn blowing)
(gentle claps)
I'm sorry.
(beep) Otis, I just told you
not to ring that doorbell.
(laughing)
Ah!
How was it?
Tell me everything, did you feed the sashimi?
You seem to know a lot about her relationship status.
- Yes because we're friends and friends share things.
- Like bodily fluids?
- I feel perhaps--
- But it's normal!
Menstruation is a very good thing actually,
it's good to have a good clean out.
- Is it your birthday?
- Yeah, yeah it is.
- It's my birthday too.
You look brilliant (laughing).
- Thank you (laughing).
(jazzy music)
- Excuse me, miss.
Wanna lift?
- Erm, no thank you.
- Have you got a penis miss?
(laughing)
Go on show us your dick.
- Look, just leave me alone please.
- Gay fuck.
(laughing)
- Please, please, this isn't me, it's a costume,
I was going to see a film with a friend,
I'm not--
(fist punch)
(laughing)
(gentle electronic music)
- [Otis] Why are you so angry?
- Because we've been friends since we were nine years old
and you've abandoned me for someone that you've known
for five seconds.
- What kind of man do you want to be?
- Thanks kid.
Want my advice?
Stick to the short ones.
(gentle electronic music)
- Everyone loves you.
- We must all learn to love ourselves
before we truly love others.
(gentle electronic music)
- Why do you have to be so much?
- This is me.
(gentle electronic music)
- I don't want you to be hurt.
- Look, I'll be hurt either way.
Isn't it better to be who I am?
(gentle electronic music)
(car horn beeping) - I told you to wait!
I just shouted at that man.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
Yeah you did.
(laughing)
- Maybe I am learning from my brave son.
(uplifting jazzy music)
- A friend of a friend said once,
she said it was the size of two Coke cans
one on top of the other, length,
and width.
(laughing)
Are you mad?
- I don't, we don't know. - Are you mad?
- How was detention?
- Why?
It was very boring.
Nothing weird happened, it was a very average detention.
(uplifting guitar music)