The superheroes are friends again. Let's get out of here.
We can't leave before the post-credits sequence.
Why does Jeremy Renner need two assistants?
Shh. Here comes the sequence.
The Avengers were too strong for us, my Lord.
He was alive the whole time.
And evil.
With great power, comes no responsibility.
Finally.
What? You saw it.
That was a mid-credit scene. There's more.
Assemblers assemble!
♪ ♪
(grunting): Time. To. Go.
But there's two more credit sequences.
When I was a kid, movies ended when they ended.
I liked the first post-credit sequence the best.
I liked the fifth.
Pipe down. I'm trying to listen
to preseason minor league baseball.
(horns honking)
Stupid baseball traffic.
I'm taking a shortcut home.
(whoops)
Kids, look. We used to live here before we were married.
Our fifth floor walk-up apartment.
(laughs) Dad, you walked up five floors every day?
No. I took the elevator
to the top of the building next door,
then crawled across a plank to our roof.
I can tell from your tone that we're going either way.
I have one tone.
Hi. You don't know me, but I'm Marge Simpson.
Oh, thank God.
A list of 101 new choking hazards.
(gasps) Pacifiers?
(Marge groans)
(gasping)
No! No.
Maggie! (groans)
Before Homer and I got married, we had amazing times here.
(chuckles) Yeah, right.
Like you could possibly ever have fun without us.
It was a wonderful time.
-We were living the DINK life. -Dink?
Well, we used to be just like you.
Childless and partying every night.
("Swamp by Talking Heads plays)
Hey, check out who crashed the party:
Kent Brockman.
Ooh, he does the animal adoption segment
on Thursday mornings.
This celebrity sighting will be the lede
for my gossip column, "Marge Madness."
Hmm.
Ow. What are you doing?
There isn't even a dartboard.
You're Marge Bouvier?
Oh, I read your listings every week--
HOMER: I had a job at a cutting-edge new company
that would change the world.
Homer, next week we finally take our revolutionary
teeth whitening strips to market.
I couldn't have done it without you, man.
Together, we make an amazing team.
It's like I know you're not listening to me,
but I'm not mad at you.
-I'm sorry, what? -Exactly.
Buddy, whatever I make, you get a piece of.
I hear that. I mean, I really hear that.
Oh, Homie.
This is the happiest I've ever been in my life.
Hold onto it, Marge.
Hold on and never let go.
(grunting)
("The Time Has Come Today" by The Chambers Brothers plays)
♪ The time has come today ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Young hearts can go their way ♪
♪ They say we don't listen, anyway ♪
♪ The time has come today ♪
Hey, some of us are trying to enjoy the movie.
No, none of us are.
At least I died before I'm 30!
Yes, he was 47 when he made this film.
♪ ♪
BART: So why can't you do stuff like that now?
Why do you think?
It couldn't be me, Booze 'n' snooze.
Why you little... (grunts)
-(gags) -Marge!
(both laughing)
(Homer laughs louder)
HOMER: And then it came.
Have some num-num.
Who likes num-num?
You like num-num?
Aw, hey, little man. Up high.
Down low. Too slow.
(chuckles)
♪ ♪
(chuckles): Again!
All right. Up high. (chuckles)
(yells)
Oh! Ow! What was that?!
my only fast pass to cash mountain.
Yes, thank you. You won't be sorry.
We're goin' places, Homer.
Soon you'll be in a higher tax bracket.
D'oh!
A kid indicates you took time away from me to conceive.
It's like a virus. It starts spreading,
and suddenly everyone's getting married
when they should be working.
Working. Always working.
(inhales sharply) Ooh.
I have a difficult choice here.
You chose me over money? (grunts)
Ooh! I deserved that.
Also, I'm afraid, a newborn
and a journalism career did not mix.
This is terrible! I wanted quotes from the swing set,
not price quotes on swing sets.
It's important for new parents to know this stuff.
New parents? Eh.
They're not the audience for the Leisure Section.
All they care about are babies.
Get me a good nightlife story, or I'm replacing you
with someone with a nightlife, Barbara Rellalinsky!
I will get the scoop.
MARGE: So,
you've moved into painting giant schnozzes.
Marge, the mouth has had its say.
(quietly): What are you doing here?
I'm so sorry, sweetie.
I know it's my night to watch Bart,
but he just won't stop fussing.
Did you try driving around to make him fall asleep?
It only worked on me.
♪ ♪
(chuckles) Bunny!
-(air hissing) -(gasping)
Marge, this photo is dynamite!
Thank you!
Dynamite kills people!
Thanks to your kid, we just lost all our art advertising,
the art gallery and Art's Deli, which catered the event.
You're fired! Turn in your press card and your fedora!
♪ ♪
I didn't do it.
You are banned forever from Gymdandee;
our sister shops, Swimdandee and Violindandee;
and all other Kid Kennel enrichment centers
and baby prisons.
You were so very wise to bring your problems here.
Now, won't you bow your heads
and watch this video.
(upbeat music playing)
(dramatic music playing)
THERNSTROM: Jane was an only child.
And science has proven that only children
are lonely children
and lonely children are evil children.
(ominous music playing)
Warning: second child may cause loss of money,
limited vacations, and reduced sleep.
Do not have a second child if you have heart problems,
are pregnant, or want to keep your spare bedroom.
In rare cases, sibling rivalry may occur.
And so we decided to have Lisa.
That's what this was building to?
I thought this was the story of how we got our furnace.
Who would care how we got the furnace?
I would care.
It came with the house.
♪ ♪
Finally, he's asleep. Let's make another.
-Mmm, mmm. -No. Oh, not here.
He might wake up. The only safe place is out on the fire escape.
What if firemen need it?
I'll be quick.
(clanging)
Duh, girls don't like me.
Hey! No fair!
Hey, where did he get those glasses?
The saxophone makes sense, but the glasses don't?
Shut up, you!
-(grunting) -Shut up!
Lisa was born.
And the best part was
Bart became the calmest boy in the whole world.
HOMER: More or less.
Why, you...
(blissfully): you delightful little blessing.
Hey, where's your wife?
Uh, she left me forever during your story.
If you look out the window, you can probably see her.
(gasps) Oh.
Why did you leave?!
Because I never want to be stuck with people like you
Our lives are great!
We left out the happy parts because they were boring!
Nothing wrong with this picture.
Well, why is she frowning?
Is there some unhappiness you're hiding?
Um...
I'm gonna stake my whole marriage on what you do next!
Smile. Don't be a dink.
Mm...
Well, we may not be ethical,
but we're a great team.
Just like Fred and Ethical.
LISA: Want to tell us how Maggie was born?
HOMER: We told you that story.
-LISA: And how we got the dog? -HOMER: Found him at Christmas.
-LISA: And the origin of the cat? -HOMER: Nobody cares.
-I wish I'd never had kids. -(grunting)
Thank God there's no munitions left in the factory.
Never too late for another!
No one's made it out in a half century!
Make room! What the...?
How did you get in here?
Mind your own business.