10 Timeless Rules To Being More Stylish [0:00:00]
Gentlemen, I’m Antonio Centeno, the founder of Real Men Real Style. In today’s video,
I’m laying out my ten timeless rules to help you become more stylish.
[Music] Rule number 1. You’ve got to give a damn.
To make change happen, you’ve got to want it yourself. You’ve got to have something
that’s driving you. You’ve got to have a why, a force that is pushing you.
I’ve had so many guys reached out to me and they want to improve their style, not
because they care about style, but because they’ve been rejected, because something
has happened in their life. They’re going through some type of transition
where they got fired or they got a new job. They’re out looking for a job because they
just graduated college, they just got their MBA, they just got their bachelor’s, they’ve
left the military, something has happened in their life.
Their little girl is about to get married and they want to look good at the wedding.
And this guy, he’s a plumber. He’s owned this business for thirty years, multi-million
now, but you know what? He’s intimidated by a suit because he’s never worn one before.
And, let’s be clear, style is not about suits. Style is about you controlling the
image, you controlling the message that you send with your clothing. It’s the way people
judge you, the way people make a decision. So, a lot of men, we wear sports jackets,
we wear suits because people are conditioned to give us an extra 15 to 30 seconds of credibility
time. And this can mean the difference between you getting your nonprofit off the ground
and you convincing those bankers that you’re worth investing in. Or maybe you want to create
the sale. You want to get up there on stage and this is going to help you get your foot
in the door. Quick story. So, I had a woman the other day
email me saying she wanted to improve the style of her husband. She knew that he had
so much potential and she wants to improve his style. Can I help him? And the answer
is no. Now, she can do a few things for him, but
when it comes down to it, he has to help himself. And that’s what I want to stress, gentlemen.
You’ve got to have the fire, you’ve got to have the desire to seek change in your
life for any of these to work. Rule number 2. Embrace change. So, you probably
heard the saying that the only constant in life is change. I agree. And guess what, gents?
This applies to your style. So many guys they fall into a rut. They are wearing the same
clothing that they wore twenty, thirty years ago. They haven’t reexamine, what are my
goals, what image do I want to project? When I was a young 2nd lieutenant, there was
a particular image I wanted to project with my uniform. After I went to business school,
when I was there at the University of Texas getting my MBA, there was a particular image
I wanted to project as I was interviewing with all these high level consulting companies.
Whenever I went off and started my first company, there is a particular look that I was going
for. And the same should be for guys out there that want to go out there and are go-getters
and understand the power of presentation. Because as your transition from one career
to another, as your goals as what you’re going after in life as they mature, so should
your look. And it can be little things like, hey, you
get away from cheap fragrances and you start to go for something that are little bit nicer,
a little bit more refined. Ones that you start to, hey, my smell has developed a bit more
and I really like this. Or maybe it’s going to be simply what you
wear instead of just always going for the t-shirts, you start to wear dress shirts.
Maybe you do throw on a sports jacket. I’m not saying you got to go full on suit.
Or it can even be the colors you’re going with. As you start to get a little bit of
gray, as you start to change, all of a sudden you find that some colors that you shied away
from actually start to work for your palate. When a man embraces change with his style,
all of a sudden he becomes more nimble. If you can imagine, this is something that you
start to be able to control and you start to be able to leverage to your advantage.
Rule number 3. Define who you are and practice being that person. So, none of us are born
great. We all have to grow, we all have to develop ourselves. And the first part of being
who you want to be is identify who that person is. We’ve got this amazing ability this
amazing freedom to actually choose who we want to be in this life.
Now, most people never make that choice. They kind of go along with what life is telling
them to do with what society is dictating on them. And they get so busy so wrapped up
in things that they wake up one day and they’re 95 years old on their death bed and they never
lived their own life. Don’t be that person. Take the time to examine
your life. The examined life is the only life worth living. And that, yes, it’s going
to take some time, thought. You’re going to have to think, you’re going to have to
reflect on some things, maybe get feedback from people that care about you that love
you. Maybe work with a coach. But, all of a sudden you’re going to have
a better idea of really what’s going to make you happy, what is it that you want to
achieve in life, not what society is telling you that you should achieve. And you may find
that those are very different. So now, that you’ve taken the time to define
who you want to be, now, let’s practice dressing like that. You want to have a uniform.
A uniform when I was in the Marine Corps, we had a particular uniform. Anyone that served
as a firefighter, as a police officer in any type of responder position, you know what
a uniform is. It’s something that you default to that sends the message you want to send.
[0:04:55] So, with your uniform, is it sending the message
you want to send? If you work as – in a nonprofit, if you’re a banker, if you are
a consultant, if you are in sales, if you are simply just going out there and wanting
to start your own company, what is your image, what is your presentation, what is your clothing
saying about you before you even open your mouth?
That is the power of a uniform. This should be clothing that you default to, the clothing
that you simply make easy to wear. You’ve got maybe multiples of a particular shirt.
You’ve got maybe a shirt, yes, with your company’s name or logo on it. A polo shirt,
a t-shirt even if you’re working outside and you’re mowing people’s lawns.
I don’t know what type of work you’re doing, but I do know that once you think through
what image you want to project and you set up a series of uniforms, all of a sudden you
allow style to work for you. I’m not talking about the whimsical winds
of fashion here in runways, I’m talking about a tool using your image and your presentation
to have a leg up on your competitors and to really make this easy, so that you always
send the message you want to send. Now, this next point is probably one of my
favorites, and that is be curious. Because when you’re curious, you don’t just learn
things because you got to learn them. You learn them because you want to, because it’s
really interesting. You start falling down the rabbit hole and that’s when the magic
happens. You got out there and you started buying books
on style and you’re checking out all these icons and you realized that warriors, yes,
people that served in the military various branches cared about style and that’s where
a lot of menswear came from, the military. You start going out there and looking at all
these different actors and you see how even in their off time, they dress well because
they understood the power of image and presentation. When you start to realize that, you understand
how style plays a part in everything you see out there.
Then, you start getting into fun things like watches, you go out there and you buy dive
watches from companies no one’s every heard from. You go out there and sometimes spend
thousands of dollars, again, companies like Monta that just simply no one talks about,
but you understand they’re using quality parts and you want to own a part of a watch
brand that could grow into something bigger. Or maybe you don’t spend much at all and
you go out there and buy the inexpensive watch like the Orient Bambino that is beautiful
and you understand it for what it is. I actually love this watch. You go out there and maybe
buy a Rolex. Point being is you start falling down this.
And whenever you put on a pair of shades, you understand I’m not really putting on
sunglasses, I’m putting on a piece of history, protective layers that aviators would wear
whenever they were flying up at high altitudes and they wanted to protect their eyes. I am
part of that tradition. Next up, let’s talk about quality over quantity.
Now, me, I’m a trailer park kid. So, for us, it was all about how much can you get
with as little money as possible. But, that’s not the philosophy you want to take into style
especially timeless style. What you want to own are things that are never
going to go out of style that are going to stick around. And when I say never, I’m
talking ten years, twenty years. And, thankfully, most items in menswear, classic menswear stick
around. And then, you can make an investment in a piece that’s going to look better over
time. Yeah. When you buy a pair of really nice shoes
that are Goodyear-welted or Blake-stitched and they’re in a classic style, they are
going to age, they are going to look better as you polish them again and again. You’re
going to actually spend money on a watch that will become an heirloom and will increase
in value. Gents, it worth it to save up our pennies
to buy the products that you want, even if you have to pay a premium. Cry once about
that price, then enjoy that product for years to come.
The next timeless style rule that every man needs to know, the style pyramid; fit, fabric,
and function. Gentlemen, never buy a piece of clothing that doesn’t fit you or cannot
be adjusted to fit your body. If it’s 95% off, it doesn’t matter, don’t buy it unless
you’re buying it for a friend and you know this is going to fit them.
Because if something doesn’t fit you, gentlemen, it doesn’t matter if you paid $2,000 or
$1,000 for that suit, guess what? If it can’t be adjusted to fit you and it doesn’t fit
you, it is never going to look good. A $200 suit, a suit that cost one-tenth, one-twentieth
of that amount right there is going to look better if it fits you. Fit is king, gentlemen,
so never buy anything and never wear anything that doesn’t fit your body type.
Next up, let’s talk about fabric. So, when I say fabric, I’m referring to the build,
the construction, the materials that go into the items that you’re purchasing. To the
best of your ability, whatever you can afford, go for the best fabric you can.
So, particularly with suits, go for 100% wool. If you cannot afford that and you see a 50/50
blend, then talk to the salesman, try to find someone that’s knowledgeable, so that he
can tell you how is this going to perform. I can tell you that there are some 50/50 blends
that are not bad especially when you get a killer deal.
But, if you think that you’re getting a great suit and you’re spending a thousand
bucks, you better be getting 100% wool. Maybe something that’s got a little bit of linen,
maybe something that’s got a little bit of mix in with a satin or a really nice silk.
What you’re looking for then is when you’re spending that kind of money, you’re getting
the material. When you spend $300, $400, $500 on shoes, you want to make sure you’re getting
a Blake stitch, you’re getting a Goodyear welt, they’re using leather soles that they’re
using a good leather upper. This is important and I’m not going to say
that this is easy to pick up at one video. But, what I am saying that you walk into the
best menswear in your area and you can educate yourself because once you hold and you touch
a $1000 sports jacket and you see what the difference is between that fabric and a cheap
fabric. [0:10:08]
You hold in your hands and you touch and you examine a pair of $500 shoes, you start to
see those details and you’re going to be more aware of them. So, when you walk into
a store and you see that $1,000 jacket in a different store different place different
time and it’s on sale for $200 and it fits you, you’ll know that this is a great deal
and you can jump on it. And now, let’s talk about function. And,
by function I mean is the clothing going to serve your professional and personal needs.
So, if you’re a lawyer in New York City buying a black tie outfit may actually be
in the cards. And may work out because you attend a number of black tie events yearly,
charity events, and, yeah, you’re going to wear out of this.
But, if you own a landscaping business down in San Antonio, Texas, do you want to buy
a black tie outfit even though you can get one on sale and it would fit you and you can
afford it and you can get a great fabric? The answer is probably no because you really
don’t attend too many events, never, you’ve never attended an event in which you would
need to wear this. And that is the function. You want to make
sure when you purchase something that is going to serve a functional purpose that you’re
going to be able to get miles out of this because the most expensive clothing you will
ever buy is the clothing you never wear. The next timeless style rule that every man
should consider is building an interchangeable wardrobe. So, when I say the word interchangeable,
what I’m referring to is clothing that is simple that is going to easily match every
other piece in your wardrobe. So, if you had four pairs of shoes, you had
four shirts, four trousers, and four jackets, guess what, gentlemen? If we had 100% interchangeability,
we wouldn’t have just four outfits. We would have 256 outfits. Yes. It’s not math in
the sense of addition, this is multiplication. And what I love about this is you can own
less clothing, get tons of outfits. When you travel, you can travel light. When you understand
the power of interchangeability, it gives you the ability to spend less time thinking
about what you’re going to wear and simply being able to put together a wide range of
combinations and always look good. Now, this next style rule, you’re going
to love because it makes things easy, and that is develop style systems. So, systems
are structures that make things simple. And that’s what you want to do. You don’t
want to be thinking in the morning when you’re getting dressed what am I going to put together,
where are the things I’m looking for. You want it to be easy.
So, when you’re developing a style system, you’ve got a closet that is free from debris.
What am I talking about? All the stained clothing and the clothing that doesn’t fit you, the
things that don’t look good on you, guess what? You packaged up, you put to the back
of your closet and you have started to add items, pieces that look good for you. They’re
up front, they’re pressed, your shoes are shined.
By doing this, by laying out your clothing the night before, you don’t have to think,
you don’t have to – there isn’t any processing to dress sharp. It just simply
what is laid out there and what is simple. When you go to look for your sunglasses, you
realized, oh, I’ve got a whole box where I keep my sunglasses and I put them back after
I’m done wearing them. You’ve got a box for your watches, maybe even a watch winder
that keeps your watches wound. And, what happens here is it becomes easier to look good than
it does to look bad. And all of a sudden, you start looking at
yourself, you got a full length mirror, so you could look at yourself and you can see
how everything is going together and you walk into your closet. Eventually, I know this
happened to me after I started working on this for a few years and you look at that
jacket and you’re like, “Wow! That looks good.” You look at this other one and you’re
like, “Wow! That one makes me look amazing.” And then, “Oh! This one is perfect.”
The thing is you realized you’ve got a closet full of items of clothing of pieces of accessories
that you absolutely love. And that’s when the magic happens, gentlemen, when you can
put together outfits that every time you put this clothing on, you feel like a million
bucks and it’s easy to do. The next timeless style rule is to smile.
Assume people like you and learn your manners, your basic etiquette. So many people think
this stuff is outdated. They don’t bother with it because, yeah, I’m not even meeting
up with people, I am rarely engaging with another human being. What does that matter?
Here’s the thing, it’s not outdated. In fact, it’s more important than ever. It
used to be that if you had a bad first impression, you would get another opportunity to make
it up. Nowadays, with all these Zoom and Skype meetings, you have less and less opportunities
to make a good first impression. And most people don’t always make the best first
impression. So, you want to be on your toes. This is going to give you a competitive edge.
And, here’s the thing with manners. It’s simply being a good person and understanding
how to project that how to make people feel good. You may say a lot, you may be a smart
guy, but if you make other people feel below you, if you make them feel you offend them,
you upset them, guess what? They’re going to stop listening to you. They had forgotten
what you said, but will always remember that you made them feel small, that you made them
feel little. And guess what? The opposite, if you may be
didn’t say everything you needed to, but you made people feel great. They love being
around you. That because you’ve got great manners. You simply build them up. All of
a sudden, you are going to be remembered as a better person than probably what you deserve.
[0:15:00] And now, let’s talk about confidence. Confidence
is your inner strength. This is your inner power to be able to face the day’s challenges.
If you don’t have confidence, this is going to sink your style. If you have great confidence,
strong confidence, this is going to skyrocket your style.
You see, the funny thing about confidence is it doesn’t make you smarter, it doesn’t
actually make you more confident, it just simply allows you to deal with obstacles and
problems with a better attitude. And that right there is attractive to everybody.
As a man, yeah, I want another business partner, I want somebody in my life that can help my
company deal with the obstacles and problems that we face on a daily basis.
As a woman, you know, they want to have somebody in their life that’s going to be able to
deal with the ups and downs that life is going to throw at you guys as a partner and they
want a confident man. Now, here’s the thing. Nobody is born with
unshakeable confidence. This is something that you’ve got to built, you’ve got to
work on and that you’ve got to improve oftentimes on a daily basis.
And, unfortunately a lot of guys can have their confidence come crashing down when they
go through a bad relationship, they go through a divorce, whenever they go through a bankruptcy,
they have financial failure, whenever they lose their job.
Now, gents, I’ve got a very special video I want you to check out. It’s an unlisted,
non-public video that I filmed with my friend, Lee. We were talking about overcoming failure.
And we talked about the five steps to command confidence.
In this video, it’s a bit longer, but we share all types of crazy stories from bankruptcy
to divorce to actually getting carjacked and how you can build your confidence up when
you have just things happened in life and how you can build unshakeable confidence.
Guys, check out this video right here. I will link to it down in the description.
[0:16:40] End of audio