- I mean, look at this body language.
This lady doesn't like answering
all these personal questions.
[light piano music]
- [Interviewer] All right, so Maya,
you're about to take Vanity Fair's Proust Questionnaire.
You will be asked 35 questions in rapid succession
in order to reveal your true nature.
Once a question has been read out,
you have five seconds to answer before we move on.
Upon completion of all 35 questions,
you will have a chance to reflect
and even correct your answers.
You ready?
- I mean, no, of course not.
This is so intense.
Why Vanity Fair, why?
[light classical music]
- [Interviewer] What is your idea of perfect happiness?
- Contentment.
- [Interviewer] What is your greatest fear?
- Choking to death.
- [Interviewer] What is a trait you most deplore
in yourself?
- Self doubt.
- [Interviewer] What is a trait you most deplore in others?
- Selfishness.
- [Interviewer] Which living person do you most admire?
- My dad.
- [Interviewer] What is your greatest extravagance?
- Greatest extravagance?
I don't know.
A home.
- [Interviewer] What is your current state of mind?
- What is my current state of mind?
I'm okay.
- [Interviewer] What do you consider
to be the most overrated virtue?
- Come back to me on that one.
- [Interviewer] On what occasion do you lie?
- When I'm being interviewed on a camera
answering questions that feel personal.
- [Interviewer] What do you dislike most
about your appearance?
- I want calf muscles.
- [Interviewer] Which living person do you most despise?
- Donald Trump.
- [Interviewer] What is the quality
that you most like in a man?
- Kindness.
- [Interviewer] What is the quality
you most like in a woman?
- The ability to be there for another, to nurture.
- [Interviewer] Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
- I think we all say "thank you so much" too much.
- [Interviewer] Who or what is the greatest love
of your life?
- My dad.
- [Interviewer] When and where were you happiest?
- Every time I met one of my babies.
It's a pretty great joy.
- [Interviewer] Which talent would you most like to have?
- To be able to sit down and play any instrument.
- [Interviewer] If you could change one thing
about yourself, what would it be?
[Maya laughs]
- Oh boy.
I'd like to become a better listener.
- [Interviewer] What do you consider
your greatest achievement?
- My kids and Saturday Night Live.
- [Interviewer] If you were to die and come back
as a person or a thing, what would it be?
- My instinct is to say Beyonce,
'cause I wanna be able to perform like that,
but I don't know her personally
and she should be allowed to be herself.
No one should come back as her,
but boy, it looks like a lot of fun.
- [Interviewer] Where would you most like to live?
- Hawaii.
- [Interviewer] What is your most treasured possession?
- Prince's belly chain.
- [Interviewer] What do you regard
as the lowest depth of misery?
- Having no hope.
- [Interviewer] What is your favorite occupation?
- I like what I do.
I like performing.
I don't like all the other stuff,
but I like the performing part.
I don't like, I don't like being on camera,
but I like performing.
- [Interviewer] What is your most marked characteristic?
- Like physically, other than my moles or what?
Like my personality?
- [Interviewer] What do you most value in your friends?
Sorry.
- Oh, that was my answer?
That was my answer, okay.
- [Interviewer] What do you most value in your friends?
- Feeling seen and laughing.
- [Interviewer] Who are your favorite writers?
- I would say Anne Lamott.
- [Interviewer] Who is your hero of fiction?
- Book hero?
Well I do love Rosie from Anne Lamott's book "Rosie",
but I kinda love her mom more.
- [Interviewer] Which historical figure
do you most identify with?
- There ain't nobody like this.
Maybe I'd go May West, but that's not right.
I wish it were Madeline Kahn.
- [Interviewer] Who are your heroes in real life?
- My nanny, who became more of my wife.
The word nanny sounds really archaic and lame
and doesn't provide what I've experienced,
which is creating your own family
in a time where we don't live in villages anymore
and the best thing you can give a child
is a sense of community.
- [Interviewer] What are your favorite names?
- My kids' names are my favorite names.
I love my mom's name, Minnie,
and I love that she was named after her grandmother, Minnie.
- [Interviewer] What is it that you most dislike?
- There's a lot I dislike,
I'm just gonna be honest with you about that one.
My answer to that is rudeness.
I see no point in it.
Unless someone is taking advantage of me,
that's when I pounce.
- [Interviewer] What is your greatest regret?
- Not buying an apartment in New York.
- [Interviewer] How would you like to die?
- I don't want to.
- [Interviewer] What is your motto?
- Do people have mottos?
I feel like if I had a motto, I'd be happier.
I think the day that I have a motto
is the day that I've made it as a human being.
- [Interviewer] All right, that completes
the Proust Questionnaire.
- Oh thank God, that was awful.
- [Interviewer] What made that so awful?
- I don't like having to share privacy publicly.
Every once and a while, I think it's okay,
but I guess I've realized that I like it on my own terms.
- [Interviewer] Well, having said that,
do you mind if I dig in on a couple of these?
- It's too late, we've already done it.
Go for it.
- [Interviewer] When I asked,
"What do you consider to be the most overrated virtue",
you said,
- Come back to me on that one.
- [Interviewer] I'm coming back to you.
What do you think is the most overrated virtue?
Or why do you find that question difficult to answer?
- I guess I find it difficult to answer
'cause it's sort of picking at
people's maybe well-intentioned ideas,
but maybe not all virtues are well-intentioned.
Maybe that's, maybe I'm coming at it from the wrong angle.
I'm drawing a blank, it's weird.
Am I not a virtuous person?
Is that what's wrong with me?
- [Interviewer] You said your greatest fear is,
- Choking to death.
- [Interviewer] Why is that?
- I don't know, which terrifies me beyond repair.
My guess is it simply makes me think I'm going to die
if I can't breathe.
I think that's a fair assessment.
And I like being alive, and I like being able to breathe.
- [Interviewer] You said that the trait
you most deplore in yourself is,
- Self doubt.
- [Interviewer] When you do you experience self doubt?
- I think sometimes we hard-wire ourselves early on
to not be so kind to ourselves,
and I don't think I'm alone in that.
So sometimes it's just a matter of looking at things
as though I were looking at someone I love
outside of myself.
That really helps.
- [Interviewer] You said you lie,
- When I'm being interviewed on a camera
answering questions that feel personal.
- [Interviewer] Did you lie on any of these questions?
- Sure.
I mean, I think that sometimes in these situations,
my instinct over the years has been to make it more funny
than serious because I don't wanna seem like a sad sack,
and I'm also protecting myself.
I'm sensitive, man.
I'm sensitive, so I try to protect the things
that I know I'm not gonna be able to handle,
but I'm also fiercely protective of my loved ones,
and so I try to keep this about work, and it's confusing
'cause we live in a time when people wanna know
what you smell like and I could've easily done this
in the center of my home with people buzzing around me,
and some people are into that.
I'm not into that, so I guess, yeah.
I'm a granny like that.
- [Interviewer] Why do you think people say
"thank you" too much, which I happen to agree with you on?
- Well it's not that they say "thank you" too much,
I was being more specific to the phrase "thank you so much".
We all say "thank you so much" too much.
Which can sometimes sound incredibly insincere,
especially when it's said dead faced with vocal fry.
"Thank you so much".
That does not sound sincere to me,
and that one gets me every time.
I say "thank you so much" all the time too,
but I try to mean it.
I wish, sometimes I try to find variety in it,
but I notice there is a very lazy way
of showing appreciation, which is like,
"Oh, you don't really mean that
"but you know you're supposed to be nice
"so you're saying it to sound like you're a nice person,
"but you're not."
- [Interviewer] You said that you consider,
- My kids and Saturday Night Live.
- [Interviewer] To be your greatest achievements.
Why is that?
- It was always a dream of mine to have kids,
and I think probably in the back of my mind,
to be part of a big family, and I can't believe
that I was able to have that in my life,
and that when I think back to all the hard things
about being pregnant or delivering a child,
I can't believe I did it.
And I guess the same goes for Saturday Night Live,
because it was also a childhood dream.
I feel really proud of myself that I showed up for that,
and again, knowing what I know now about working there
and how all-encompassing it was, I can't believe I did it.
It was, I always joke with my girlfriends from there
that we're from a comedy army.
We really went through everything together,
and it was so physical and so emotional
and really hard work, so I think now that I'm tired,
it looks much harder from afar.
- [Interviewer] Did you say
your most treasured possession was,
- Prince's belly chain.
Yes.
- [Interviewer] And if so, is there a story behind that?
- I've had this incredible experience getting to know
this band that happened to be my heroes.
My now friend, Joey, is the son of Bobby Z,
who is Prince's drummer from The Revolution.
Joey and I worked together on something
and as a thank you gift at the end,
he presented me with a little box
that was wrapped in a purple velvet,
kind of lavender velvet bag.
It's a beautiful, thick, gold chain
that he wore around his hips.
The video for the song "Mountains",
you can see it kind of peeking out
of his little black cut out in his trousers
around that really good meat when men are really developed
and they have that cut right there.
It does not fit my belly,
so I wear it as a necklace sometimes.
- [Interviewer] You said,
- There's a lot I dislike.
- [Interviewer] Can you elaborate?
- I think I finally came around to rudeness.
I just can't stand it.
I guess I got a lot of my personal traits from my dad.
My dad is very much a people person
and I think, if anything, he really strives
to make people comfortable.
And I think when you're looking at a situation
from that point of view, I know that being selfish
in a situation like that is really just [beep],
and it's usually from people that can't help themselves
or don't know any better,
but it doesn't cease to make my blood boil.
I also don't like it when people ask me
if they can touch my hair,
but that's gotten better over the years.
- [Interviewer] Would you like to come up with a motto
or should we come back to you for some other time?
- I'd love to come up with a motto.
Listen, if you're that person that's like,
"Hey, here's my motto" and then it's the thing
that you say, that you're known for,
that's tits.
Maybe my motto is "That's tits".
- [Interviewer] Do you feel like these 35 questions
helped reveal something about your true nature?
- Maybe.
I think these questions feel more intense than normal
but maybe it's the Proust of it all.
Maybe I feel like, "Oh shit, they're gonna find me out."