This episode contains talking about the show Loki
so spoiler alert!
or sit back and enjoy I... I don't care. One or the other.
Start the music!
making your way evil today sure does take a lot
thinking of ways to distribute hate takes everything you've got
wouldn't you like to rule a place
sometimes you want to go
Where everybody hates your face
And the villains share your rage
You wanna be in the evil seat
Heroes are all the same
You wanna go where everybody hates your face
Greetings, Loki!
Let me buy you a drink
Why thank you ,Loki! Don't mind if i do
And for you, Loki?
I have my box of juice. I shall require no more refreshment.
Very well! Barkeep, a drink for the Loki
but not the Loki.
put it under the name... Loki
Vote Loki, everyone!
Is it just me or are there an unusual amount of Loki's here today?
There does seem to be a large gathering of Loki's about.
Let go you wretched reptile!
Who let this blasted alligator in here!?
Oh that's just Loki
What exactly does one call a gathering of Loki's?
A gaggle?
A pride?
A scam? Ha ha ha ha ha!
Everyone, you must listen to me! Something big is happening!
Something huge!
Before Zod declares that's what she said
Loki did you start a fan club?
Because this is not a pub for cosplay.
That's what she said!
It's the multiverse
The multiverse has been unleashed!
What the heck are you talking about?
Okay. There i was minding my own business then suddenly there was a tesseract at my feet
so i picked it up and was like huzzah
but the TVA showed up and said
you're not supposed to pick that up so you're under arrest
then they put me on trial and said "You're gonna get pruned!"
They we're gonna throw prunes at you?
No Pruned! It means executed
except later i found out it doesn't really mean executed
it just means send you to the end of all time
which is this crazy wasteland!
Like the phantom zone
I suppose. Except in this wasteland there's a giant monster cloud that likes to eat people
Loki you can be honest with us.
Are you on drugs?
No! I'm trying to tell you what happened!
This is important! Anyway, instead of being pruned this nice man named Mobius decided to use me to hunt another Loki
who was supposed to be super bad and evil
but turned out to be a super cute lovable version of me
What?!? He is on drugs.
He's not on drugs.
Hello everyone.
Oooh she is cute!
And then i started to develop feelings for her
which i know makes it seem like i'm just having feelings for myself
but this Loki chose to change her name to Sylvie so that made it not so weird
Loki...
please land the plane
Yes this is all so confusing
I haven't even gotten to the confusing part yet!
Oh my gosh!
okay summary: My girlfriend didn't want to live with me happily ever after together ruling all the time
so she killed the timekeeper in charge
and by doing so it unleashed infinite new timelines
forever altering time as we know it
and now there is a threat for a multiversal war!
So what you're saying is
there's more multiverses
Yes!
And i'm going to have to welcome variants of everyone from an infinite list of timelines?
It's already happening!
Universes will collide over and over
crossovers galore
don't you understand?!
Would you like if i explained in a propaganda film?
What are you doing here? Is this the TVA?
No silly!
I'm meeting someone here.
Hello there, good looking.
Hey, Shug!
Don't wait up y'all
Where was I? Oh yes!
We have to restore the sacred timeline
Assuming your timeline is the sacred timeline
is a bit presumptuous don't you think?
But you are L oki so i'm not surprised
Yeah this multiverse trend has been happening for a while
Plus universes have been crossing paths for ages.
Just like here
Yes...just like. Wait. No.
This is different.
How?
we get together and we talk
but we don't control the outcome of each other's destiny.
This is all your fault isn't it, Kingpin!
Everyone ate up the Spider-Verse so much
now we have to bend all the rules just to make room for more spider-man
Hey don't look at me Flash has been doing the multiverse thing for a long time
it's practically all they do now.
It's true.
As someone who comes from an altered timeline i can confidently say
this is a headache about to turn into a migraine
Yeah only if your story sucks!
oh i'm sure if the headache gets too severe someone will call a doctor.
Doctor Who?
No Strange.
I thought she would have liked that, Khan.
well I don't like this variant stuff
to find out all these ways other versions of me turned out
I mean if they don't all end with superman snapping their neck
that'd just make me super depressed to find out i was the only one.
I agree.
finding out how other variants of you succeeded where you failed could totally make someone
snap
And ultimately it cheapens the legacy of both universes
I think you're all just choosing to look at this from a negative perspective.
Huh?
I know you're all villains you're grouchy and mean i get that
but the truth is this is a very exciting time
you should embrace the chance to see alternate versions of yourself
the multiverse is a really big place
Why should you get to be the only you?
This opens up the door to millions of worlds!
All currently established IP
A ll familiar yet totally new!
Don't you see?
BOOOOOOO!
You should be on a jet ski right now!
How did you get in here? Bowser!
RAAGH!
I'll see myself out.
well i can't help but feel responsible
all of this happened because of my necessary journey to learn to love myself
Curse my completely voluntary character growth!
Yes... Voluntary character growth.
Who was that guy?!
Ugh! This random person who claims it was all about him
See you soon.
Okay so this was also all about him
and possibly his thousands of variants to come
so something must be done!
We must put an end to this madness!
Who's with me?
Eh... I don't know man.
Really?!
You know who you're starting to sound like, Loki?
Someone who knows what they're talking about?
You sound like a protagonist
Yeah!
Fine! no one wants to help me i'll just look elsewhere
enjoy your endless list of possible replacements i mean variants! Good day!
Scoff! I am the only lord of darkness
clearly there is no other than what you see before you
and even if there was i would never fall prey to the interest of an alternate version of myself
Ooooo! Is this seat taken?
Well hello there!
What do you say we get out of here and go
manage some mischief together?
Ha ha wink wink!
Ha ha ha ha ha!